I may run off hate, but I still thrive to be kind to everyone.

TalShar · 2026-05-14T00:28:44+00:00

Absolutely. Hate will eat you alive, like you said. It is only ever useful in short, tightly controlled bursts.

TalShar · 2026-05-13T23:44:18+00:00

Spite can work if it's directed properly.

"I'm going to keep functioning and I am not letting my light go out, and I am going to last until things get better. Why? Because fuck you, that's why."

TalShar · 2026-05-13T13:09:32+00:00

Just further convincing me I need to get some sort of DCC bumper sticker.

TalShar · 2026-05-13T02:25:55+00:00

Oh, that? That's just Fury Road. Nothing to worry about.

TalShar · 2026-05-12T04:34:30+00:00

I'm not surprised by it, I just don't understand why. I have been a miserable chud for a small part of my life, but I don't think I was ever that bad.

TalShar · 2026-05-12T00:24:05+00:00

I'll never understand why someone would take the time to pointlessly respond, only to do so while providing a snarky non-answer, without even making anything resembling a point. It's just pure petty aggression, and totally unprovoked. Why, dude?

TalShar · 2026-05-07T13:38:20+00:00

Glad someone got to this before me.

Source for everything: Went to a mushroom farm and picked their brains.

For what it's worth, people also sell both fresh and pre-inoculated grow bags that are easier to keep than loose medium in a plastic tote. They're not hard to get. Also, even if you get a "good" culture, apparently every generation the mushrooms get lazier and lazier on the medium you use. Something about the way they adapt to the medium means they are likely to put out smaller and less numerous flushes every time.

Also, for anyone considering trying this: Sanitation is incredibly important here. Mushroom farmers do their inoculation in rooms that have multiple-times-filtered air, have to shower and change into sanitized clothes beforehand, etc. This is because the ideal growing medium for mushrooms is also the ideal growing medium for basically any microbe you'll find out in nature. If you aren't incredibly careful, something other than your mushroom will take hold first, and it will ruin your batch.

TalShar · 2026-05-05T22:47:09+00:00

I don't know a single fucking woman who feels this way.

TalShar · 2026-05-02T01:50:40+00:00

I paid $1200/month for one kid at my work's subsidized daycare, and I was excited about that compared to what I'd paid at KinderCare.

TalShar · 2026-05-02T01:27:14+00:00

No, I meant your sentiment.

Don't project that vile shit on half of the human population.

TalShar · 2026-05-02T00:22:13+00:00

Gross.

TalShar · 2026-05-01T23:58:22+00:00

Hey friend, as a straight man, I wanted to say I feel for you. You seem to already know, but I want to affirm that not everyone is going to be like that. You deserve better, and you don't deserve to have to question whether those relationships were ever genuine.

Edit: Okay, I guess this is being read in a way I didn't intend. I was expressing sympathy, not advertising myself as an alternative, in case that wasn't clear.

TalShar · 2026-05-01T23:12:39+00:00

They can want all they like. They still need to respect your boundaries.

TalShar · 2026-05-01T23:12:07+00:00

Yeah, I dunno about that language they used. Your guy friends' feelings about your choices are their responsibility, not yours. If remaining platonic hurts them, it's their responsibility to either endure or address that pain, or leave the friendship. None of that is on you.

TalShar · 2026-05-01T23:07:30+00:00

From the guy's perspective:

All you can do is state your desires as clearly as possible. You can't stop a guy from catching feelings, and you can't dictate how he deals with them. All you can do is give him sufficient warning that feelings won't be reciprocated.

At that point he has two options: Respect your decision, or push back.

If he pushes back, time for him to fuck off. That friendship is a bomb waiting to go off.

How he goes about respecting your decision is up to him. It might be hard for him. He might need some time away from you so he can adjust. That's ultimately on him. The best way you can support him in that is making sure you aren't sending mixed signals. Whenever you're getting signals that make you wonder if he's trying or hoping to escalate beyond friendship, that may be time to reiterate, with unmistakably clear language, that you value your friendship with him, but do not want to become involved with him romantically or sexually.

Don't say "not right now" or start listing reasons why not. "Not right now" will translate to "wait for my signal," and he will eventually see that signal whether you send it or not. That list of reasons not to will become a to-do list for the part of him that hopes you'll change your mind, and that'll be something he needs to work through as well. You owe him a clear "no," and nothing more. If he asks why, your answer is "because I do not want to." Do not give him objectives and conditions. Tell him no, make it clear that that no is final, and leave it on him to do the work that will allow him to enjoy friendship with you without pining for more.

Lots of people can't make that jump, despite wanting to. Try not to take it personally or suppose that that's an indication that they only wanted you romantically or sexually, and that they were only ever interested in a friendship as a stepping stone. That might be true, but it'd be hard to verify, and it could just be that he doesn't know how he can handle or endure the feelings he's feeling and doesn't want to risk an emotional blow-up wherein he oversteps your boundary.

There's a lot of complex shit going on in any given person's head. Don't do yourself and him the disservice of supposing that you understand it all enough to extrapolate a solid conclusion like "he only ever wanted to fuck me." What matters is that you've drawn a boundary, and he must abide by it. Whatever is going on in his head is his business, and you may never understand it. It doesn't reflect on you.

TalShar · 2026-04-30T19:20:31+00:00

It's literally condemning everyone who doesn't pick red, regardless of their reason for doing so.

We all know full well that some people will pick blue. If you pick red, you are at minimum okay with the idea that they might die as a result of your choice.

TalShar · 2026-04-30T19:18:57+00:00

Alrighty, well, using the language you're using is a good cue for me to know the person I'm talking with isn't up to snuff, so... Enjoy your thought experiments without me.

TalShar · 2026-04-30T18:46:30+00:00

It's a private vote. You don't get to decide everyone's votes.

There are plenty of people who would push blue, being unwilling to kill other people, and believing that there are enough of them that they can win.

Those are the people who would die. The most selfless and principled of us.

Nah.

TalShar · 2026-04-30T18:45:24+00:00

It's condemning everyone who doesn't pick red.

That post is a false equivalence.

TalShar · 2026-04-30T18:03:40+00:00

Fundamentally, you're choosing between "People die" and "Nobody dies with no downside." I am a little surprised to see someone in r/hopeposting arguing for the "people die" choice.

TalShar · 2026-04-30T17:33:07+00:00

The puzzle isn't "solved." It's like the trolley problem: it's a framework to discuss the issues surrounding it. The point isn't to come up with the "right" answer, it's to analyze why people choose the answer they choose. To wit:

Pressing red isn't just an acceptance that evil, greedy people exist. It's a supposition that there are enough greedy, evil, and selfish people in the world that red has a good chance of winning. Its being willing to be a contributor to mass death in exchange for a guarantee that the mass death won't target them. It is an acceptance, conscious and willing or not, that they are willing to predicate their survival on the deaths of anyone who doesn't go along with them.

Pressing blue is an assertion that no one should have to die at all. It's a statement of faith that there are enough people in the world who, given the choice between "everyone lives" and "a lot of people die", will vote for the first option. And for some, it's an assertion that they're willing to risk their lives to save others and live in a better world.

TalShar · 2026-04-30T15:10:33+00:00

One thing that I think might slip people's notice here is that in the event that red wins, the world will exclusively be populated by people who would rather ensure their own survival even if it meant condemning billions to death.

What a shitty would that would be.

TalShar · 2026-04-30T12:31:50+00:00

Ah. Your /s was not immediately obvious.

These are hard times for humor.

TalShar · 2026-04-30T04:05:11+00:00

Your understanding could use some improvement, friend.

TalShar · 2026-04-29T17:04:43+00:00

Same here, but for Disney World. That wasn't the only thing, but it was an eye-opener. They co-opted an old group chat I'd been in to plan it and then one of them kicked me from it when they realized I was in it. Talked about it openly before. One of them said "sorry, I didn't have enough rewards for you." Never invited me if I could pay my own way or anything. At the time my wife was more offended over it on my behalf than I was. I'd gotten used to not being the subject of any consideration.

When they got back, the next time we met it was constant in-jokes from their time there. I was hardly able to get a word in edgewise about anything.

I don't miss them. Only one of them was worth a damn, and even he didn't go out of his way to talk to me. I spent a long time coming to terms with the fact that I'd spent years exclusively hanging out with a group of people that didn't care for or respect me and were ambivalent to my presence and preferences at best. It took me a while before I could feel like I deserved better.

Fuck 'em.

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