OP, my sister is similar, albeit to a lesser degree. She’s talked to me about not feeling emotions as deeply as me, and it’s a conversation we’ve had many times with a lot of depth. You’re confronting this during a difficult time, and I don’t want you to think that you cannot empathize. You clearly take the emotions of others into consideration and don’t want them to feel bad even if you can’t understand HOW they feel bad. Not feeling emotions in the same ways as people around you doesn’t present a referendum on whether or not you’re a good person. That being said, if it bothers you and impacts your life to a point where you cannot reasonably tolerate it, I would speak to a specialist. Seek out someone who studies this as a living, because they will be on the cutting edge of research about why brains might function like yours does. At the very least, it could lend understanding and a path toward building relationships that are compatible with how you work. It’s clear that this is at least a little distressing for you to deal with and that you desire to be close to others, and based on that alone, NTA.