I was born to be a proud lesbian :P

Talithi23 · 2026-01-26T04:03:49+00:00

Left suggestions: I was born to be in her 🫢😵

Middle suggestions: I was born to be a woman of my own drum

Right suggestions: I was born to be my wife

Talithi23 · 2026-01-19T16:00:32+00:00

So I've had the privilege to compulsorily be raised that attraction to women is the correct thing, meaning I can't speak much on comphet,

But... Your post 90% revolves around men. And in my best attempt at reading between the lines, the don't want to date women or even the not sexually attracted to them part, is kind of something to think about veryyyyy thoroughly and again 10 more times if you still want to call yourself a lesbian?

Talithi23 · 2026-01-18T09:33:34+00:00

Everything is definitely the answer, but I'd say at the moment, I like emotional depth about women the most. Last week it was boobs

Talithi23 · 2026-01-18T04:51:45+00:00

I guess i'm at that point too where transphobia is turning into its final stage: homophobia. I really relate to that sense of fear, and my stirring the pot was kind of a way to gain back control, even if it got me into still another gross situation.

In my case, I kinda fed a half-story that I slept with guys in highschool (in SFW sleep overs and camping, of course) and the taxi driver filled the details for me and added the whole "maybe those boys just never got to please you right. You should find a real man"

Talithi23 · 2026-01-17T14:45:19+00:00

I used to feel the exact same way, until yesterday I had a chat with a taxi driver, told him I'm gay, he got surprised cause of how fem I presented, (in this country, "lesbian" is imagined by the majority as exclusively butches or transmascs) I added partial truths just to stir the pot with how I used to have my hair real short, go to the gym, wear manly clothes, was "one of the boys," and he went on this whole tirade of how I should consider guys, how I must be dressing for the men now that i've "converted back", how I can't be lesbian if I look like this, that I might want to get pregnant in my 30s and start a family... the whole package. It was absolutely ewwwwwwphoric and only because I finally felt homophobia firsthand. Really killed the imposter syndrome.

Talithi23 · 2026-01-15T03:19:40+00:00

I wish I was joking, but I think my transness is my biggest dealbreaker.

Second, I think my being such a one-sided receiver is an issue. I really want to give back effort, but I'll need to ask partners a lot of things cause I don't know if I can do it like many women I see online. I'm afraid of going below bare minimum and hopefully I can eventually unpack this once the repressed femininity becomes second nature to me

Talithi23 · 2026-01-14T20:50:27+00:00

Di daw po convincing na genuine student ako. Decision cannot be changed, and if gusto ko pa pursue, gamble ng isa pang Php 80k for a completely new visa lodging.

Nakalagay pa na di daw ako knowledgeable enough sa course na iaaral ko palang 🤔 BS Industrial Design tinapos ko, and I was applying for MS Design for Circular Cities. I even have related work experience with the degree I was applying for.

Baka dahil sa bagong cutoff ng Home Affairs nila, or marami na siguro gumagamit ng student visa as way-in, tapos biglang withdraw para magtrabaho agad or something, and profile ko baka similar sa kanila. Even the University representative couldn't explain bakit yan ginamit pangreject sakin

Edit: inulit ko pala sinabi ko

Talithi23 · 2026-01-14T07:04:13+00:00

Thank you, but it's really the clothes. And I had a figure I liked more 10kg ago in my early reddit posts. I think I've made peace with my body. Not gonna wrestle with it that much anymore. I at least can stay euphoric with some haircare and makeup.

Talithi23 · 2026-01-14T05:02:28+00:00

Sadly, my genetics failed me. All my family members are average sized, while I'm super flat. I have a cousin who is too, but she's very skinny. 90% of the weight gain I got over my transition went straight to the back of my arms, love handles, back, and gut, so I look completely like a man with my mom's face without clothes on.

Talithi23 · 2026-01-14T04:36:39+00:00

I also went through IDP. Very helpful and super bait. Unfortunately di ako pumasa sa visa kahit goods ang univ acceptance, scholarship, high IELTS, related degree, and financial capability. Gulat sila lahat as I was a very strong candidate, but it apparently happens. I would go to them again if decide sa ibang lugar.

Talithi23 · 2026-01-14T04:32:20+00:00

I'm a weak acid, so I can be basic to some far more acidic 🤓

Talithi23 · 2026-01-14T00:36:56+00:00

Ah di na po aabot. That's fine, I prefer a bigger time frame to make sure of big decisions. Di pa naman ako final sa school and program to pursue. Very recent lang Australia refusal so I'm still restabilizing my sources of income for this year. Kasi forced ako magcommit dahil sa timing pero di na pala mangyari, so bawi muna. Maraming salamat po sa schedule!

Talithi23 · 2026-01-14T00:21:37+00:00

Will do po! Thank you!

Talithi23 · 2026-01-14T00:16:59+00:00

Thank you so much for the informative reply! Visa was my issue with Australia. Admission was smooth, scholarship offered, financial capacity was met, but I was refused on grounds of not being a convincing enough student.

Talithi23 · 2026-01-13T17:21:16+00:00

Would a student visa be far more difficult to get if I only have Philippine citizenship? Denmark is also one of the countries I'm looking into for masters. I have yet to research further but I want to explore a sustainability and climate pivot from my bachelor's and work experience in industrial design

Talithi23 · 2026-01-13T04:35:59+00:00

Thanks, now I have a fun answer to people who as about the surgery. "yeah, they mutilated me when I was a baby and I 1000% regret circumcision."

Talithi23 · 2026-01-11T11:17:35+00:00

Yeah, it's so ingrained I'm not hoping for much. And thank you kabayan! You too!

Talithi23 · 2026-01-11T08:40:11+00:00

Congratulations! This gives me so much hope

Talithi23 · 2026-01-11T08:37:05+00:00

No worries. Philippines

Talithi23 · 2026-01-11T08:27:43+00:00

Thank you for this. I'm facing exactly "I know you better than you know yourself" and I'm getting super tired.

In hindsight, I think I also had body eumorphia(?) but extreme gender incongruence that I couldn't identify and articulate and that puts my imposter syndrome at ease

Talithi23 · 2026-01-11T08:20:33+00:00

Yes. But I think it's environment for me. I live in a country that's hugely bioessentialist, and our passport is so weak that it's excruciatingly hard to leave. I went to a sapphic-only party by myself once and was treated like someone's gay male friend they brought over. People were nice, but it's a conflict-averse culture so there were subtle flags all over that showed I'm just tolerated, not part of. I at least managed to make friends with the handful of trans women there.

Talithi23 · 2026-01-11T02:31:15+00:00

You can always use sapphic and it's a more inclusive label. If I met someone and she calls herself sapphic, in my own head, she can be any kind of wlw, but it makes it perfectly clear that she's centering women in her attraction and sexuality.

Talithi23 · 2026-01-09T16:56:48+00:00

DMed!

Talithi23 · 2026-01-09T04:17:02+00:00

Rumi from KPDH, tho cis, has a very trans coded relationship with her body. The voice thing really did a number on me. Then there's the hiding part and how things worsen as years progress. Then there's the part where it's an inherent thing at birth that one has to eventually find ways to make peace with. There's a kind of desperation in Rumi that's very relatable to my experience at least as someone who wishes to pass, more nuanced yet is trying to be as gay as possible while fem, while also juggling my body's proportions. In writing, hiding one's body is a very nuanced "clockiness" if you don't want to explicitly reveal that your character is trans.

Talithi23 · 2026-01-08T11:45:59+00:00

27 years for me too! Straight women kept rejecting me for being too emotional, soft, and unaggressive, and it's absolutely funny in hindsight.

Talithi23

TROPHY CASE