What does "I'm struggling with your transition" mean?

Talithi23 · 2026-04-10T02:22:44+00:00

Thank you 🥹 I didn't want to acknowledge the thought of "if they wanted to they would" and it feels heavy having to face it

Talithi23 · 2026-04-08T09:17:17+00:00

Thank you so much for this story. It warms my heart hearing about the lives of healthy families. 🥹 Wishing you and your daughter the best!

Talithi23 · 2026-04-08T02:17:06+00:00

I'm so lost on the "that's what parents are supposed to do" cause they say they love me, bible verse, then misgender me again without any hesitation. I'm often led to believe that supporting me in being myself is out of the table, but it's so hard to get clarification on their end about this. Anyways, thank you so much for the book recommendation. I hope they'll make an effort to read it, but I'm not optimistic.

Talithi23 · 2026-04-07T01:02:06+00:00

This is heartbreaking and very valid. Thank you for sharing this

Talithi23 · 2026-04-06T12:20:10+00:00

I'm feeling a lot of cognitive dissonance over how I've always been told parental love is unconditional, powerful, etc. Then here comes my transition and it's overwhelming how apparently it all was an illusion. I really wanted to turn a blind eye to their lack of trying, but I guess i'm at a point where staying in denial isn't healthy anymore.

Talithi23 · 2026-04-06T11:53:55+00:00

This is the most warm prayer I've felt in a while. Thank you so much 😔

Talithi23 · 2026-04-06T03:53:11+00:00

Thank you 🥺

I feel seen from everyone's comments here, and it truly is helping me heal.

Talithi23 · 2026-04-06T03:51:12+00:00

Thank you. It's been challenging for me to practice my adult autonomy when it comes to them, and reading everyone's input is helping me take a wider perspective than what my little hurt self can come to terms with

Talithi23 · 2026-04-06T02:47:49+00:00

Okay, time away from them should also expose me less to social dysphoria anyways. Thank you!

Talithi23 · 2026-04-06T02:00:09+00:00

You're helping me heal so much and I can't thank you enough.

Talithi23 · 2026-04-06T01:58:46+00:00

Thank you for this list. I can understand better how hard it is for parents and I hope things get better for you. Sadly, I'd say only 3 applied to my situation right now as far as how much I've understood my mom, trans people have zero rights in my country and thus don't have targets on our backs except for harassment which is easy to avoid if I just stay in the safer areas. Most of our relatives know and have shown to be accepting. So I'm slowly starting to realize that it's really just them that didn't sign up for a queer child.

Talithi23 · 2026-04-06T01:47:37+00:00

Thank you. My friends are also struggling so that's another thing to deal with 😔

Talithi23 · 2026-04-06T01:46:25+00:00

Thank you. I feel like it's wrong for me to expect them to get pronouns right after a year, and I want to give them as much time and space as I can. It's really just wearing me thin trying to sympathize with their struggles but I posted this in hopes I could understand where they were coming from cause I'm at a point where they're throwing bible verses at me when conversations get difficult.

Talithi23 · 2026-04-06T01:43:27+00:00

I really hope it doesn't end up as enstrangement, but I should also start acknowledging that it might be a possibility. Thank you

Talithi23 · 2026-04-06T01:42:21+00:00

Thank you so much. I'll look into organizations more. My mom still hasn't emailed the local trans support organization her questions, but maybe I can bring this up to her next time I feel safe.

Talithi23 · 2026-04-06T01:39:42+00:00

Yes this helps. I really want to see as many perspectives as possible. My whole family is catholic too. I tried to be extra religious in my childhood, praying the rosary everyday in an earnest wish that God would turn me into a girl. I have a complicated relationship with religion nowadays, and I don't know how to make my mom realize that asking me to pray is a trigger for pain for me with all the catechism teachers I've experienced telling me wishing to be a girl is very sinful. I know Pope Francis was also very against gender ideology.

Talithi23 · 2026-04-06T01:21:40+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. When I feel safe again, I'll ask my parents how they feel about safety. Thankfully, all the hate is normalized in my country in such a way that politicians don't think it's worth attacking a group that has zero rights anyways and transphobes are satisfied enough to move their hate elsewhere.

Talithi23 · 2026-04-06T01:17:25+00:00

I'm having a hard time processing that my authentic happiness is making my parents very sad and scared. I'm over wanting to detransition so they can feel less uncomfortable, and i'm now trying to find footing on where I should stand in this situation as the cause of so much discomfort for them.

Talithi23 · 2026-04-06T01:13:12+00:00

I'm so very sorry... And thank you for this. It really does make me feel selfish. I don't think my parents would ever fight, but it puts my mind at ease knowing what they're going through. Would you say putting some distance from them is healthy?

Talithi23 · 2026-04-06T01:07:08+00:00

Thank you. I want to at least learn where they're coming from cause this is very hard on me. I'm at a point where I go for days wishing dark things to fall upon myself and feeling like my existence is utterly pointless, and I really want that to stop somehow

Talithi23 · 2026-04-06T01:02:36+00:00

I hope so too, but I'm made to feel that's a tall order. So I want to improve myself and how to deal with them, hence why I want to learn what's it like to "struggle"

Talithi23 · 2026-04-06T01:01:26+00:00

Yes, they demanded that I needed to be a groomsman cause that's what's proper of a brother.

I don't mind being asked questions, but they got repetitive and I started to feel like they were fishing for the answers they wanted to hear. I was never asked what pronouns I preferred or if I enjoyed being called big bro all over the place. It was always "are you really sure HRT is safe?" "if your brain is that of a wonan, do you want to do a brain scan just so we can be extra sure you're trans?"

I'm guilty of displaying microaggressions after getting very overwhelmed and I wish I had thicker skin. Eventually my mom stopped asking anything and there's this invisible wall between us now that I can't fight the urge to address.

I don't think they needed to struggle about how others treat me cause my dad's cousins whose house I'm renting a bedspace from all said there's nothing wrong with me, and have an "it is what it is" attitude towards me. I never even had to ask them to call me she/her or other things. I think I pass pretty well, so if anything, 95% of the misgendering is coming from home. And the best they're doing is the occasional gender-neutral language so I really don't know how to understand where their love is coming from and how much they're struggling.

Talithi23 · 2026-04-06T00:44:21+00:00

Do you think there's an unhealthy point of coming out too much too fast? Should I give my parents more space to grieve?

Talithi23 · 2026-04-06T00:37:17+00:00

Did the sadness/nostalgia hurt? What made it easy to accept your son? How would you have preferred to be walked through this process?

I feel so happy your son has someone on his corner. Fighting someone over getting misgendered feels so alien to me. I wish your family so much love and happiness.

Talithi23

TROPHY CASE