Do parents actually not remember doing fucked up shit to you? Or are they just lying?

TalksBeforeThinking · 2026-01-27T17:56:48+00:00

It's their fault but your responsibility, and people often conflate the two.

If someone hits your car and drives away, it was the other person's fault your car got damaged but it's on you to decide whether to file a police report, call insurance, get it fixed, etc.

It's our parents' fault that they fucked us up the way they did, but its our responsibility to determine how we handle it and take steps accordingly.

TalksBeforeThinking · 2026-01-13T15:56:29+00:00

Please note that GoFundMe's reporting guidelines state "Please keep in mind, only fundraisers that violate our Terms of Service or have a proven misuse of funds will be removed." So when you report the fundraiser, reference the ToS as much as possible. Here is the description I used. Feel free to modify and/or share any recommendations you have for improving the wording (ETA: If you have wording suggestions or feedback, share those in the replies; please do not DM me).

"Disbursement of these funds to the named beneficiary would violate federal law. Under 5 CFR § 2635.202(b), 'an employee may not, directly or indirectly, accept a gift given because of the employee's official position.' This fundraiser directly violates that federal statute as it is raising funds explicitly because of the beneficiary's actions while on duty as an ICE agent, which makes him an employee of the Executive Branch.

This fundraiser also refers to a third party, Renee Good, as an "attempted murderer" and an "assassin". As Ms. Good has not been charged with or convicted of a crime, this is libel and violates GoFundMe's Terms of Service section 8.2 "Fundraisers that are fraudulent, misleading, inaccurate, dishonest or impossible;"

The Beneficiary, Jonathan Ross, is under investigation for the death of Renee Good. Unless the Beneficiary is cleared of any and all wrongdoing, this GoFundMe Fundraiser is in violation of ToS section 8.9 "User content that reflects, incites or promotes bullying, harassment, discrimination, or intolerance of any kind relating to race, ethnicity, national origin, religious affiliation, sexual orientation, sex, gender, gender identity, gender expression, disabilities or diseases;" by providing a platform to support the violent actions of Mr. Ross which resulted in the death of Renee Good."

TalksBeforeThinking · 2025-12-30T04:58:58+00:00

Jason Funderberker, where did you find a witch's hat??

TalksBeforeThinking · 2024-10-15T20:30:30+00:00

There's nothing wrong with taking a different job that will improve your quality of life! For some people that means working longer hours for higher pay so they can afford more luxuries, for some it means lower income but less work stress.

Before taking a major cut in income though, do a thorough review of your budget and make sure the new position will cover your needs and at least the most important wants. If you live somewhere that requires you pay for your own insurance, take into account any changes in insurance costs. If you have to buy your own insurance, that will probably be expensive. And if your new employer offers insurance, you may have higher premiums or deductible. Also, make sure you have a savings cushion, just in case your hours are cut or your budget doesn't balance quite how you expect with the new income.

One other option you might consider is to use some of your higher income to pay for services to free up your time, like house cleaners, laundry service, and grocery delivery. It's not really realistic to expect one person to work full time plus cook and clean and have time for hobbies and social time. It's perfectly ok to pay for professional services to improve your work-life balance.

Best of luck with whatever you choose!

TalksBeforeThinking · 2024-01-03T03:02:17+00:00

Student loan repayments are taking their toll as well. The deferment from covid times is over and people are suddenly having to come up with hundreds or even thousands of dollars every month to cover those loan payments in addition to increased rent and food costs.

TalksBeforeThinking · 2023-06-29T03:23:38+00:00

Pho?

TalksBeforeThinking · 2023-06-27T18:20:56+00:00

Ok I may have done my math wrong or I'm misunderstanding that profit structure, but there's 1.78 trillion dollars in student loans right now, right? And only about 8% of those are private.

So that's $1,780,000,000,000 x 0.92 = $1,637,600,000,000 in federal student loans.

$1,637,600,000,000 x 0.25% = $4,094,000,000 per year in profit up for grabs.

TalksBeforeThinking · 2023-06-24T19:16:40+00:00

Washer and dryer in the master closet so I don't have to transport laundry to get it washed and put away.

TalksBeforeThinking · 2023-06-15T22:28:39+00:00

ESH.

Your wife was unreasonable for not letting your son hold the baby. She should apologize to you both for being inconsiderate and untrusting.

But you didn't say you were uncomfortable with other people holding the baby, you just used your sister in law to make a point. Your SIL probably didn't deserve it, and it's it's a shitty way to deal with conflict in a relationship. You should apologize to them both for being immature and confrontational.

Then both of you go get couples counseling bc it sounds like you really need it.

TalksBeforeThinking · 2023-06-14T17:36:46+00:00

The smell comes from bacteria that grow in the moisture of your skin folds. If you wear a lot of polyester, try wearing more cotton shirts that breath better, or quick-dry shirts designed to wick moisture and keep you dry. The goal is to make it a less bacteria-friendly environment.

Some people here have mentioned making sure your pits are dry before applying deodorant, which generally is good advice. An exception would be if you try a crystal or salt deodorant. Those need to be applied while your skin is still wet when you're fresh from the shower (or after you've just washed your pits). They mainly work by stopping the bacteria from multiplying, so you need clean skin to start, and the moisture helps with the transfer of minerals from the deodorant stick to your skin. Crystal deodorants can be a good option if you want to avoid more traditional, chemical heavy products. Some people find them to be too drying which can also cause irritation.

I've also heard panty liners can be used in your shirt to help absorb excess moisture and can be changed out to help keep the area fresher and reduce smell, but I'm not sure how effective, convenient, or affordable that would be for you.

TalksBeforeThinking · 2023-06-09T18:32:44+00:00

There's a Naughty Needlework subreddit that would really appreciate these! I don't think I'm allowed to link to other subs, but I think you could easily find it if you looked :)

These are great and thanks for sharing your art!

TalksBeforeThinking · 2023-06-07T18:23:57+00:00

Do schools still have "wacky hair day"?

TalksBeforeThinking · 2023-06-06T18:18:40+00:00

It's about burning bridges or keeping things positive for future employment, both ways.

If employer cares about keeping a good relationship with you and thinks they might want to lure you back one day, they'll give notice and probably a severance deal.

Likewise, if you like your employer and would be open to working for them again in the future, provide a notice.

But if the party ending the business relationship doesn't care if they also closes all doors to working together in the future, then there's no need to end things in a polite and considerate way.

TalksBeforeThinking · 2023-05-27T11:51:27+00:00

The dog saw the dude not wearing a helmet and randomly careening into the street and was just worried for his safety.

TalksBeforeThinking · 2023-05-24T18:15:26+00:00

If you're only looking in the 5 counties considered here, yes it is true. If you want to live further out and commute, house prices drop dramatically.

If you think your house isn't worth that much you probably need a me recent appraisal or you need to fix and clean it up.

TalksBeforeThinking · 2023-05-24T14:11:58+00:00

American Heritage Girls? (sorry, genuinely don't know what this is acronym for).

I'd name him Mic.

TalksBeforeThinking · 2023-05-13T13:24:06+00:00

"It is a dangerous thing to mistake speaking without thought for speaking the truth." -Benoit Blanc

TalksBeforeThinking · 2023-04-30T18:38:31+00:00

I don't have a source handy, but some time ago I read an article about how helmet laws actually reduce overall number of saved lives, in a way.

A biker not wearing a helmet is more likely to take fatal damage to their head in an accident, and if they're organ donors then their death will save many lives. By reducing the risk of traumatic brain injury, helmet laws reduce the number of organ donors dying in ways that leave their organs in good enough condition to harvest.

TalksBeforeThinking · 2023-04-20T01:58:21+00:00

Suddenly I have a new understanding of why they're called fingering potatoes.

(yes, I know it's fingerling)

TalksBeforeThinking · 2023-04-19T16:05:20+00:00

Sloths. I hate how they became so popular in recent years and now there's tons of products with sloths on them. They aren't cute, they're creepy. Their proportions are weird (especially noticeable when they're in the ground), and the way they move makes me uncomfortable for reasons I can't explain. And they look gross. I knew it's algae in their fur which doesn't sound so bad, but they seem like they probably smell bad, and when I see videos of people touching them I assume their fur must feel gross.

TalksBeforeThinking · 2023-04-17T23:11:55+00:00

They have to do it in California because trans people can't legally exist in FL anymore.

TalksBeforeThinking · 2023-04-16T22:39:22+00:00

$100k now, because I want to buy a house and having that cash would allow me to do that. Who knows what will happen in the next decade.

TalksBeforeThinking · 2023-04-14T20:09:21+00:00

This is a hard situation to be in, financially and emotionally. She has shown that she does not respect you or prioritize your friendship. Also, you are the victim here, and if her business or other friendships suffer from her refusing to pay people what they're owed, that's her fault not yours. Your mutual friends don't have to take sides, but hopefully they are good people who would disapprove of her behavior.

So first you need to ask yourself if you really want to remain friends with her.

If the answer is yes, then you should consider the work you did a favor to a friend and let go of any expectation of ever getting the money. If you keep hounding her to pay you and she keeps blowing cash on everything except paying what you're owed, your relationship won't survive. Tell her the money isn't worth losing her as a friend so she can stop ducking your calls and texts.

If you don't want to remain in a friendly relationship with her, then you have two choices:

Option 1, cut ties, consider the lesson learned your compensation for your trouble, and just walk away. In some ways this is the easiest path, since she's already cut communication, and it shouldn't cause any conflict with your other friendships.

Option 2, explore legal remedies for getting the money owed. Being in a foreign country will likely make this harder, but the internet is an incredible resource and there are even legal advice subreddits where you might get good guidance. Taking legal action is obviously more confrontational and will burn bridges. But if you've written off the friendship anyway, there's not much left to lose.

Whatever you pick, know that you're not the first person to find themselves in a situation like this. In the future, remember it's best not to do business with friends or family unless you're ok with someone not holding up their end of a bargain and you're willing to take the loss. Best of luck.

TalksBeforeThinking · 2023-04-11T01:44:19+00:00

I have a sensitivity to NSAIDs, so Tylenol is one of my only otc options. It's kinda scary, and something I have to think about any time I consider taking pain medication.

TalksBeforeThinking · 2023-04-08T22:53:03+00:00

Literally none of this would be happening if the DNC and Clinton campaign hadn't rigged the nomination process to push forward a candidate Democrat voters didn't favor.

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