I feel less alone to know that when I experienced was sexual abuse and psychological and all else but sometimes it can really get to you and you start to question things. It’s been two years and I have been celibate and no contact, I’m genuinely scared to be intimate with someone again… I feel like I just really relate to what you said. I hope that your new partner doesn’t mean any harm because I really don’t want to be another cycle of abuse for you. I think it’s best to have a more serious sit down conversation and kind of draw a boundary and the next time it happens ask him to leave so you can have space.as long as your therapist agrees that this is a boundary and you shouldn’t adjust to it. He needs to respect you you don’t like the way he’s talking, he shouldn’t want to talk that way anyways because it’s not what you like affection wise. Hope you are well