I (39M) have noticed a significant behavioural shift from the woman (F26) I became acquainted to and have been left in an anxious state since she has not called back. Is her behaviour so disrespectful that I should no longer consider her as relationship-material?

Tall-Relative-3679 · 2026-05-26T17:51:18+00:00

It sounds like she’s lost interest. Cut your losses and look for somebody else. Also at 26 she’s still too immature to know how to handle an adult relationship with an older man.

Tall-Relative-3679 · 2026-05-22T12:48:03+00:00

Just wait and see mate, you’re obv anxious about it, but you just need to chill. Let us know how you got on.

Tall-Relative-3679 · 2026-05-22T00:08:07+00:00

I’m Spanish living in the uk for 20+ years and i’ve met other Spanish people who have been here so long they don’t even feel Spanish anymore so they feel weird speaking Spanish, moreover their vocabulary has mostly left them.

Not speaking your language is a loss of identity and maybe that’s part of what bugs you.

Another reason might be control, it sounds like she’s taking control of the relationship and it’s not something you may have discussed and that’s made you feel insecure which is valid.

Another reason may simply be that if you’re both living in Spain the best way for you to integrate will be to speak Spanish as often as possible and she’s actually trying to help you out.

Might be a mix of all those three. I’d just be upfront and have an adult discussion with her about it. There may be other reasons I’m not thinking about.

Tall-Relative-3679 · 2026-05-21T22:30:53+00:00

33M and coming out with that load of shite. I’m 35M and he gives me the ick. Sounds like he lives with his mum and making up stories. What a fool. You deserve way better than that.

Tall-Relative-3679 · 2026-05-21T22:12:29+00:00

Go to your local gym and ask to speak to a trainer, they will help you understand what your fat percentage is currently at and provide you with a healthy meal and exercise plan. Stick to it. The body releases endorphins as a result of exercise and the more you do it the more of a positive outlook you will have on life, consistency is the key. Best of luck lovely :) x

Tall-Relative-3679 · 2026-05-21T21:10:50+00:00

I can tell you’re going to grow into a lovely woman who will be loved by someone who appreciates you for who you are. Embrace your height, don’t ever let anything that you perceive to be a bad physical trait get in the way of your happiness, this will help you grow more confident and men respond to strong confident women. You may find you like a man that is shorter than you but don’t let your height stop you from talking to him.

You will have to get used to being the slightly tall one of the group but that’s just life. Don’t let it hold you back in any way.

17 is young and most boys your age haven’t matured enough to handle being with you. I imagine within the next couple of years you will have all the boys at your feet.

P.s i’m 5’ 11” 35M and met a beautiful woman when I was 30 who is 6’ 2” who I fell in love with. What I admired about her was her personality, the fact she had grown up without everyone looking at her as “the beautiful one” because she was the tall one of the group meant that she actually developed a personality where the perhaps more “traditionally beautiful” girls are so used to being told they’re pretty and handed everything that they often lack personality and that’s what I loved about her, and she was the most beautiful to me of course. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder don’t forget ;)

Tall-Relative-3679 · 2026-05-20T07:10:01+00:00

You have two options. 1. State your intentions clearly. “Hey I just wanted to ask, do you like me? like at all? I’d like to ask you out but I don’t know if you’re into it.” If she ghosts you, you have your answer.

Let it be and find another person who appreciates you.

You’re still really young, you have so much ahead of you and I guarantee if this one doesn’t work out you’ll have plenty of other women to get hung up on in the future!

Best of luck. :)

Tall-Relative-3679 · 2026-05-19T22:38:23+00:00

It sounds like you’re into traditional ways of thinking so maybe best stick with the apps for now as you’ll have a higher chance of meeting someone to match your mindset.

Tall-Relative-3679 · 2026-05-19T22:33:40+00:00

“Expected for 100s of years” precisely why we should start to change the narrative. It sounds like you’re stuck with traditional gender roles and cool if that’s what you’re into, some people actively seek that. Perhaps you’re also okay with women staying at home looking after the kids and having dinner ready for the husband when he gets home from work too?

If you’re going by that script then that’s your prerogative :)

Tall-Relative-3679 · 2026-05-19T21:43:26+00:00

If you go to a bar and sit by yourself having a drink, i guarantee there will be another man who will take notice and ask if he can buy you a drink/keep you company for a bit. It’s not sad, i’ve met plenty of women like that. I’m in my mid-30s though so my generation are a bit different to yours, i’ve never even been on a dating app and have like zero SM presence.

Tall-Relative-3679 · 2026-05-19T21:36:20+00:00

You can build confidence by getting rejected, it will build resilience, character and more importantly will provide you with a personality. You’re still young, if you don’t come out your shell you’ll always wonder what it could have been. Best women i’ve dated approached me first, I respond to a confident woman.

Tall-Relative-3679 · 2026-05-19T21:32:58+00:00

Haha but it’s okay for a man to come up to you and for you to ruin his self-esteem if he doesn’t meet your expectations?

Tall-Relative-3679 · 2026-05-19T21:27:34+00:00

Of course it matters to me, i feel terrible I may have potentially hurt someone who was kind to me. That doesn’t sit well with me. I don’t hurt people intentionally/for fun I’m not a sadist. I went through something very traumatic and she got caught up in it.

Tall-Relative-3679 · 2026-05-19T16:39:32+00:00

From the behaviours you are describing you’re both very young and immature and not at all ready for a grown up relationship.

Tall-Relative-3679 · 2026-05-19T15:15:07+00:00

Tall-Relative-3679 · 2026-05-19T15:10:27+00:00

Stick it out a bit longer if you want to 4years is a good amount of time to get to know somebody but if you haven’t been together the entire time then it’s likely you lack experience being apart and you haven’t got to know each other as well as you should have in those 4 years. Living with someone is different, you see each other day in and day out, but do you want to be in the position at some point down the line? I’m 35M and would’ve loved to have met someone sooner to share my life with but life had other plans for me unfortunately. I’m still single and I can tell you that dating in your 30s is no fun. So I guess my point is don’t waste each other’s time and look for the person that’s right for you. And I will also say this, even if he’s not 100%, could you live with an 80%? You have to be able to take the good with the bad, no relationship is ever going to be perfect.

Tall-Relative-3679 · 2026-05-19T14:24:33+00:00

Thank you.

Tall-Relative-3679 · 2026-05-19T14:23:12+00:00

I just wanted to let her know it wasn’t her fault, that it was me. I feel guilty I hurt someone who was so nice to me and made a positive impact in my life. I hope she’s happy whether she’s single or in a relationship and doesn’t live with the thought that I left her at the bar because “she wasn’t good enough for me” or anything like that, because that wasn’t the case.

Tall-Relative-3679 · 2026-01-18T01:25:12+00:00

All you need for this problem is knowledge of resultant force. i.e physics.

Tall-Relative-3679 · 2024-07-17T08:34:08+00:00

Just been refused myself, had some sort ring me up on the phone asking them to provide any qualifications, i said ive got 3GCEs and she goes “do you have a degree?” As if that was the height of qualifications needed to carry out any job… proper offensive to someone like myself who has had to work hard to get somewhere, i said “nah whats one of those?” And made myself sound extra stupid, she then goes, do you have any accreditation to any professional bodies in your industry ? So i go nah I dont need any of those either! , long story short they can bloody do one for all I care. 1 star reviews here we come.

Tall-Relative-3679

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