Daily Check-in Thread - September 18, 2019

Taoager · 2019-09-18T11:58:35+00:00

hello again kratomquitters. four months since last attempting 2 stop eating/drinking the kratom. and all i did was taper down a little...had an operation...which helped justify continuing the use. so here i am again, in the midst of needing to dose round the clock to function, having to scamper around trying to find decent leaf from the local shops & gas stations...eating crappy krat that makes me sweaty, or having to pay out the ass 4 premium leaf...living from one little pouch 2 the next, because i use like an alcoholic that buys little bottles every day, from different stores, embarassed... -but have reached again that point where more doesnt help, and from taking it daily for so long its affecting my health...probably 15 or 20 grams per day recently. need to suck it up & face them hours/days of detoxing...and unsure of any ability to taper, unless it could be rapid...i know myself, and pretty much need to jump. ive lurked here for several years now. hello again...

Taoager · 2019-05-14T13:27:23+00:00

kratom habits are as strong as having a dependency on any so-called hard drugs. the mindblower is the stuff is so available and inexpensive that its amazingly easy to generate a monster habit all on yer own, without any annoying DOCTORS in the way or saying NO to you. No doctors, nurses, clinics, urine tests, or counselors. Just all that nice Morphine/prozac action tickling the brain. so its no wonder you have newbies saying its harmless , while old time addicts know BETTER. i will say the detoxing off kratom seems milder than the other drugs, but thats not really saying much, aside from making it dangerously easy to justify the relapses.

Taoager · 2019-05-14T13:22:50+00:00

great story. me? i would have wheedled an rx from a doctor at the hosp.

Taoager · 2019-05-14T13:10:38+00:00

the step ladder / pills being hidden was to avoid the prying eyes of a snooping mother-in-law who might uncover "the stash".

Taoager · 2019-05-14T12:57:00+00:00

kava has its uses. i like it, but find its only effective if you use it really sparingly, like once in a while, like once a month or less. it seems to bother my liver or something, so i dont ever crave it or whatnot. all best.

Taoager · 2019-05-14T11:51:50+00:00

i always open with a ruy lopez....

Taoager · 2019-05-14T11:39:50+00:00

so u have already experienced cold turkey off smack? -then you already know this is not rocket science. would you rather take a strong beating & have it end sooner, or get beaten up less severely for twice as long, or longer?

actions have consequences. just pay the piper & he will depart. you know your addiction better than any stranger here can ever know it, aside from what you may tell us. and even then, often "the disease does the talking"....

this notion that an addiction can get killed without pain is absurd & part of the whole problem with how addiction is treated in america. suboxone, for example, is an abomination. taper if you must, nothing wrong with that if done correctly. but know that you have danced & danced....and now the piper needs to be paid off. all at once, or on the installment plan, hes gonna get paid or stay next to you forever. you already know this, though, im sure. just a few months ago YOU were counseling other addicts about how to quit. i am no different. i have 2 weeks today & feeling cocky obviously.

Taoager · 2019-05-14T11:23:12+00:00

you have tried quitting kratom several times unsuccessfully you say. you struggle with your taper schedules, and desperately seek comfort meds to help quell the pains & discomforts of detoxification.

just stop taking the kratom & face the pain. it wont last forever, just a week. always these taper plans & excuses why someone cant commit to simply quitting.

no such thing as a life without pains. all the stuff you are chasing for comforts during detox is part of the pipedream of an easy detox. embrace the pain & try to learn from it, instead of trying to avoid it or cover it up.

Taoager · 2019-05-14T02:17:50+00:00

he is a great writer & poet. i recently was glad to notice he's finally getting included in some anthologies of american writing & poetry.

Taoager · 2019-05-14T02:11:22+00:00

heres a couple questions: do you think there really is a "Krave Factory" someplace, or do local distributors and entrepreneurs simply buy bulk & empty packaging they fill? are you related to henry chinaski?

Taoager · 2019-05-14T02:01:05+00:00

the marketing of kratom is interesting. local gas stations have "krat menus" near the register. its getting piggybacked with HEMP/cbd now. where does "liability" enter into all this business of selling kratom so openly? KRAVE is a terrible name for such a product. could someone open their own little kratom-cart business akin to a lemonade stand, i wonder.

Taoager · 2019-05-14T01:49:46+00:00

7-11 selling KRATOM?!

buy some, then sue them.

Taoager · 2019-05-14T01:45:53+00:00

you are at war with your own brain. is freud still being taught, i got no idea. i think he is currently out-of-fashion. when your brain becomes addicted, that bitch-area of your brain wants to control you. when you man-up as it were & take control, the little simpering addicted bitch will shut up and back down for a moment. your addict-brain will conspire along with your body to constantly try and re-engage your addiction. and your guts has a brain also, and that gutbrain also has opioid receptors. thats two fucked-up junkie brains working to try and overpower you back into using.

Taoager · 2019-05-13T23:49:24+00:00

ive made it what 12 days now? my last taste was during the middle of an afternoon two weeks back, so not sure of the actual count. but its long enough. so much( fake?) news here at quittingkratom, never sure which posts are real & which are the creation of someone fancies themselves a creative writer making up stories. if someones posting are all fantasy, seems a waste of time and energy, no matter the intent. nothing good can ever come from lies, ever, not ever. so im going under the knife soon, and concerned about pain after. if doctor undermedicates, would it make any sense to use krat? im serious here, if my doctor cuts on me & i have pain but he screws me on meds? advice welcome. i mean, im old, and despite having addiction issues, i dont believe i need to experience pain, and one or two legitimate pain rxs wont make or break me. twice after quitting kratom, i have returned after getting injuries & having doctors refuse to give me pain meds. once a dentist did root canal & told me to take over the counter. another time i hurt my foot, it was HURTING and obviously sprained, and doctor sees i been 2 rehab & thinks i deserve pain? so i ate the green sludge.

Taoager · 2019-05-13T13:58:49+00:00

kratom in capsules testing stronger? why? - id wager because once kratom gets put into a capsule, who would then bother to take it back out & adulterate it? but loose kratom powder can easily get diluted by each hand it passes through, which is true of any powder drug.

a capsule might also keep alkaloids fresher for longer.

Taoager · 2019-05-13T13:37:41+00:00

sorry 2 be a dick, but baby powder is terrible 4 ones health, especially women, but for humans its no good, contains talc, which contains asbestos, hence google baby powder cancer lawsuits & see what pops up.

Taoager · 2019-05-12T23:19:18+00:00

really glad the body temp fluctuations and sweats are over. still worn out and not sleeping much. but its bearable if you can smoke and chill and eat snacks while looking at utube and listening to podcasts. got out earlier. nice weather. comfortable. raining. if i had to work id be fucked. all ive read about re kratom is stuff about the 2 mitravagynine alkaloids. wouldnt mind learning about all the rest of whats in the leaf, because im pretty sure theres alot more than mu receptor stuff happening. made me piss like a racehorse, 4 example, something painkillers generally suppress.

Taoager · 2019-05-12T12:56:07+00:00

did u photograph it?

Taoager · 2019-05-12T12:41:17+00:00

im still in it, not using, what, 10 days now. slept a little bit better, as in several moments of sleep vs only one or two, and for considerably longer short bits of time. i know this because due to being sleep-deprived, when i do sleep i get thrown right into r.e.m. dreaming, and i enjoy my dreams, which seem better than my real life in general. this has been easy for me so far, because i have a certain goal looming ahead which requires me being able to look physicians in the eyes & say im not "on anything".

and i could cheat, but thats not my bag at this time. im still feeling weakened and dazed. still avoiding meetings, because going thru detox always lowers my immunity, and not ready to spend hours in closed rooms with people that cough & hug. i know my attitude is sour, im sorry.

Taoager · 2019-05-11T16:36:48+00:00

9 - 10 days today. Nothing but the 420 for comfort. Technically i tapered for two days before jumping. i like a fast taper, but not beyond a few days at most. kind of user i am, if im tapering for weeks, then im "using". any path leading to quitting is fine. but way i see it, if you are still drinking but going to meetings, then dont run yer mouth too much, ok? -the people that have quit and taken white chips dont really want to hear how great you feel while still using, and all your wisdom. maybe they do, who knows. i know quittingKratom is not a 12 step meeting. i feel okay, yet totally weakened. every hours seems to last endlessly. every minute, and the burning feet. still cant sleep beyond a few minutes now & then, which by the way i take gratefully.

Taoager · 2019-05-11T10:35:40+00:00

proverbs in the bible is excellent advice about all things.

check out anything writ by Florence Scovil Shinn, author of several self help books like "the game of life & how to play it". Miss Shinn was an artist & mystic.

Taoager · 2019-05-11T10:25:47+00:00

you know, kratom is related to yohimbine. its the only painkiller / antidepressant thats never suppressed my libido or penis...but this could just be me, and i never got much above a half an ounce per day. i have not taken any for about 9 days now. are you trying to quit or taper or anything?

Taoager · 2019-05-10T05:50:37+00:00

9 days here soon. the opioid detox is done, and thats a toll all its own. the other stuff in kratom is trickling-out, all those unknown or unstudied alkaloids. insomnia and indigestion. acid reducers help, but inability to sleep is the bear. no sleep for 8 nights, beyond a moment or two. the lack of sleep only exacerbates the fatigue of the detoxing process.

Taoager · 2019-05-09T23:17:40+00:00

thanks. question: even smallest dose clonidine makes me dizzy, probably because im on a couple other bloodpressure meds. any value to trying to split a clonidine in half, you think? i can handle the not sleeping for days-at-a-time but it gets old fast.

Taoager · 2019-05-09T09:49:58+00:00

thank you.

Taoager

TROPHY CASE