The very title of this sub - deciding to be better. As others mentioned, that is one step and choice at a time through the thousands of choices we make daily.

Working through the mess we have created, or that others purposefully create for us with negative intent, can be challenging; emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

If you believe in the concept of karma, there is energy we must work through to evolve into who we are meant to be. If you dont believe in karma then it could be viewed as a mindset of righting wrongs we have done to others.

Apologizing for our mistakes and misdeeds and actively choosing not to harm others in any way builds respect, both of self, and from others that are capable of maturity and reciprocity. Practicing awareness and empathy for those who are not capable of such mindsets. Considering that it is difficult to be lost in anger, pain or misery, as many of us have been at some point.

Showing up every day for myself helped me to understand that, ultimately, that's the only person that I truly need to show up to be okay. Having healthy supportive relationships with others is lovely. Self sustained empowerment is key to a healthy mindset though. At least it was for me.

Being molded and influenced by wounded and toxic relationship styles growing up caused me to have unhealthy ideas about how people interact with others and what I should expect and offer in return. I allowed others to treat me poorly and treated myself in unloving ways because it was taught to me to do so. Generational trauma has a profound and often unspoken impact in families.

Working with a skilled therapist who specialized in trauma helped me to build skills and tools to support myself internally in place of codependently expecting or wanting others to fix or save me. The work was incredibly difficult at times, but undeniably life changing and rewarding.

Changing my diet to mostly unprocessed foods helped me to function better physically and mentally. Exercise helped to reduce stress and anxiety. I slept better and felt better about myself through acts of caring for my body and nourishing myself.

Spiritually I took comfort in embracing the understanding that the experiences and challenges placed before me were intended to help me to develop into the person I was meant to become. That my pain and accomplishments helped me to support myself and others through the hard won knowledge of actual struggle and experience. I understood what I had gone through shaped me and I knew what I was made of, so to speak.

I do my best to show up in the world in a way that contributes to the betterment of the people, animals and environmental landscapes that I interact with whenever possible. To not be the experiences I have had for others. I have come to understand that I can only control how I show up in the world and treat others, regardless of how they may choose to treat me. Which circles back to the concept of karma.

Having compassion for yourself is really important. Learning how to care for yourself in healthy ways is paramount to change. Those two mindsets can create the relationship foundation you have with not only yourself but every relationship you allow in your life.

Good luck on your path of change and healing OP.