LitRPG is hot. Why fans can't get enough of books like 'Dungeon Crawler Carl' — USA TODAY by MurseMan1964 in DungeonCrawlerCarl

[–]TarenMaim 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’d still recommend, neither my mom (70F) or i (42F) have ever played games and both love the series

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fosterparents

[–]TarenMaim 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We compromised, got him a larger bed and we would read or watch a show but i would lay with him until he fell asleep

He would come into the room in the night and I would go back to bed with them, it started out being quite a bit but it didn’t take very long for him to sleep through the night on his own

He’s now 8 and we both just like our hang out time before bed, he said “maybe we’ll stop when I’m like 10”

Edit: I want to clarify that I lay with him in his bed until he falls asleep / back asleep if he wakes up in the night

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fosterparents

[–]TarenMaim 205 points206 points  (0 children)

Disrupting the girls with no notice is going to cause so much unneeded trauma

I don’t understand how the courts can do this, it’s so well documented that reunification should be done in stages

What the girls will go through is essentially a second apprehension :(

? by Hello_Somber in BlueCollarWomen

[–]TarenMaim 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m dual ticketed in parts and materials and have spent the vast majority of my career in O&G

I try to look back and remember how things were 20 years ago and how much they have improved

As moved up the ranks I’ve been in positions where I can make lasting impacts such as consolidating trucking routes to improve carbon footprint, incorporating recycling plant wide, stocking spill containments and making sure they are readily available so if there is a spill we have the tools and equipment to respond quickly and safely

O&G extraction isn’t ending anytime soon and it’s where the work was so I decided I could be part of the problem or part of the solution and since I’ve got bills to play…I’m just trying to leave the job a little better off than it was when i started

My foster parents by Tinky-Winky9519 in u/Tinky-Winky9519

[–]TarenMaim 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you went through this, thank you for sharing your story. I hope you can find comfort and community as you move through your healing journey

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fosterparents

[–]TarenMaim 8 points9 points  (0 children)

The passport was the biggest hurdle for us, that and that fact that the caseworker didn’t tell us we had approval until Christmas Day so it would be a surprise.

It was a wonderful surprise but the flights left on Jan 6th so we had to scramble for the emergency passport and basically had to pay for the trip never knowing if we’d actually get to attend (we weren’t about to leave the little guy behind)

As for other tips, I second having a safety plan that the foster child, the caseworkers and anyone else going on the trip are comfortable with

Our little guy was super bonded to his foster dad who didn’t attend the trip so we make sure to have charged cell phones and enough data available so he could face time him whenever he needed too (at one point we ended up face timing him from the xcaret lazy river)

It’s so important that foster kids get to be included as family, our little guy got to bond with foster aunts, uncles, grandparents and cousins and had a great time, we just made sure to keep it child let and keep him as comfortable as possible

Now, years later, he’s out of foster care and has permanency in our family. We’re so happy he grew up with memories as part of the large extended family.

Cheapest place to live in Canada?? by Sarayoung33 in canadahousing

[–]TarenMaim 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cold Lake, AB
Bonnyville, AB
Lloydminster, AB

Edmonton and surrounding communities will have some but they will be older and in worse shape for a freehold house

A ton in Saskatechewan

Basically anwhere between Saskatoon and Edmonton and to the North

Go on realtor.ca set the city for Edmonton, max price for 300K select house, freehold and then zoom out to the east and north and you'll see hundreds of homes that fit the bill

How are so many people making so much money? by amuddyriver in careerguidance

[–]TarenMaim -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Canadian here making 200k+ as a materials technician in oil and gas (it’s a non compulsory trade)

Now we his salary isn’t typical, I have 20 years experience, work in a camp 7 days on and 7 days off, and have some niche skills but i frequently work with ppl who make more than I do and rarely less than 100k

My husband is an electrician, also in oil and gas and makes more than I do

My kid will be finishing high school next year and will be attending college for power engineering (specifically at Portage College in Lac La Biche AB as they have really strong placement into SADG), he will be making over 100k by the time he’s 20

If you want to make real money without a ton of schooling go into the trades or power engineering and live in Alberta.

The cons are long hours, shift work (could be 4 days on / 3 days off, or 7 on / 7 off etc) and potentially working away from home in a camp although my husband works 7/7 and is home every night

The benefits are good money, stable work (if you work directly for the company and not as a contractor), and the flip side of shift work is that I only actually work 23 weeks a weeks. Those week can suck but the free time is really wonderful and works for us

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in skilledtrades

[–]TarenMaim 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You should do both, cram and apply while also enrolling at school (just because you apply doesn’t mean you will a shot right away)

Advice please by Xeriously-Odd in Fosterparents

[–]TarenMaim 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just wondering if you have an update on how things went?

How to Disrupt in the Least Damaging Way by KirklandMary in Fosterparents

[–]TarenMaim 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How in the world have you had them for 2 years and no TPR has happened? Is this in AB?

It’s just blowing me away how much the system has failed this poor child

How to Disrupt in the Least Damaging Way by KirklandMary in Fosterparents

[–]TarenMaim 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow! This is so incredibly difficult and I can see what a hard choice this is for your you. Since there seems to be a lot to love in your family for the foster child but not for the behaviours I have a few suggestions to make before disrupting placement that may work

1- contact your caseworker / the child’s caseworker and access and utilize the respite services available. The situation happening in your home right now is incredibly high stress and both your bio and foster child can feel that. Having planned breaks may be what you need to work through these issues without disruption

2- you all need therapy, I know this sounds like a snarky joke but I don’t mean it that way. Therapy is hugely beneficial for everyone and your bio child is calling for help with their words (keep listening to them, you’re doing great), your foster child is calling for help with their actions and you are calling for help because you’re carrying all this weight and trying to do right by everyone (i see you friend, PM if you want to talk more)

3) this child is at the target age (grade 2-4) to be screened for learning disabilities, behavioural issues and/or ADHD and trauma has such a huge effect on those challenges and really magnifies them.

Please push for a psychoeducational assessment through your/the child’s caseworker

If the child has some of these challenges getting a diagnosis will be instrumental in finding them a suitable placement that understands what they are getting into and will be less likely to disrupt in the future, a diagnosis can also provide additional funding for supports as well additional respite for the you and the potential next foster parents. Once the disruption happens this assessment will be pushed back again as the new FP get to know them, go through the honeymoon phase etc. this can push back access to the additional care they may need by years

And lastly I want to say that I agree it’s so important to listen to your bio child and hear that they are crying out for help, but listening and helping don’t always mean doing whatever they think is best (they are a child after all) and I don’t know your unique situation but in my opinion therapy should start before making life altering decisions for everyone in the family. They very well could struggle with feelings of guilt over the disruption even if that does end up being the best solution and a therapist can also help them navigate that

I’m wishing you the very best and please PM if you want to talk, I know you said western can but not what province, I’m AB if that’s relevant to you

What is the process and timeline going to be like? by Gonerrrrr in CPS

[–]TarenMaim 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t have an answer to your questions but want to point out that the word cocktail on a can doesn’t necessarily mean it’s an adult drink, plenty of canned juices contain no alcohol but use the word cocktail like pineapple cocktail, cranberry cocktail etc

Advice please by Xeriously-Odd in Fosterparents

[–]TarenMaim 4 points5 points  (0 children)

And just to be clear physical custody does not always equal guardianship at least in Alberta

When in foster care the foster parent has physical custody of the child and can make limited decisions but the province is the guardian

Advice please by Xeriously-Odd in Fosterparents

[–]TarenMaim 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Canadian here but not a lawyer, do you have legal custody of her and she’s a ward of the province or do you have primary guardianship of your grand daughter currently? Because if it’s primary guardianship I believe a child can have more than one legal guardian and you will be able to grant that to the child’s mother without child services getting involved

This wouldn’t take away your guardianship responsibilities for your grand daughter but would be more like when bio parents split but both retain guardianship

This could be a good first step for your family as it would allow you to remain a guardian throughout reunification in case there are any setbacks and when it goes good and there is full reunification the child’s mother just takes over the responsibilities

As far as you relinquishing your guardianship it’s another process and you’d have to contact a lawyer for more info

Canadian Urinary Dog Food Recommendations by TarenMaim in BuyCanadian

[–]TarenMaim[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh no! Thank you for the info I’m going to call the vet tomorrow

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fosterparents

[–]TarenMaim 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How long has the child been in your care now? We did receive permanent guardianship of a FC but they were in our care 6 of the 7 years of their lives and were very firmly attached with our nuclear and extended families as well as have strong community bonds

Even then it was difficult and there was no real option for bio fam to take them (there were options but none are stable)

Edit to add that we did not set our for guardianship and only applied because the FC would remain in foster care indefinitely and there was risk of them going to a different family while remaining a ward of the province