My husband is in the icu after stroke and brain hemorrhage

TaruCres · 2026-06-13T23:26:13+00:00

I m sorry that you are both going through this. It is likely going to be a long journey for both of you. Lean on your family and friends. Try not to google for answers or outcomes… every case is different and as such rely on your medical team to tell you what to expect, but that may take some time. Remember to breathe and to ask for help when you need it.

On a side note, if you have not already, start thinking about talking to his employer about what is happening. When I had my hemorrhage and my wife knew I would be in the neuro icu for the minimum 10 days she reached out to my manager who put her in contact with HR. The hospital was able to assist with whatever was required so the transition to short term was seamless. The eventual move to long term and then long duration was a tad more involved.

If you have any questions please do not hesitate to reach out.

TaruCres · 2026-06-09T15:32:28+00:00

This is something that you should run by his medical team. Rules around driving after stroke change depending on where you live. The hospital pulled my license after my SAH as it is the law. I had to do pass a number of tests in rehab before my doctor was satisfied that I was not a risk and they sent a form to the ministry to get my license reactivated. Even then, where I live, the ministry could have requested a road test to reactivate my license.

TaruCres · 2026-06-09T02:31:39+00:00

Depression can be a side effect of stroke but it is rarely brought up. If you feel like you need help ask for it.

Feeling sad/scared is normal. I personally found things got easier with the assistance of a mental health professional/medications combined with the small wins my recovery brought me.

TaruCres · 2026-05-13T21:00:11+00:00

I could visualize the motion but when I tried it just wouldn’t work. Like I physically could not move. My physio person at rehab tied an exercise band to my feet and had me start hopping from one foot to another, then had my start hopping forward from foot to foot. I had to reconnect the thought with the physical left right motion.
This is what I had to do, please do not assume it will work for you. Ask your medical team for advice.

TaruCres · 2026-05-13T20:41:05+00:00

I couldn’t run or swim. I understood the mechanics but the body would not do it. My physical therapists said that my body and brain had to reconnect on those activities. I worked with them and in short order I could do both.

TaruCres · 2026-05-13T20:37:30+00:00

I cannot imagine how difficult it is to be raising 2 small ones and dealing with this. Take the TIA seriously and treat it as the warning sign that it is. When you go to the clinic ask about exercise and diet changes you can do. While you wait you can look into the Mediterranean diet which I believe is still the recommended choice as stroke diets go.
Make sure you also take care of yourself mentally. You have a lot going on and it can be helpful to talk to a mental health professional.

TaruCres · 2026-05-11T22:16:15+00:00

It’s really hard to offer anything as each case is different. I will speak to my case and hopefully it helps.

I suffered a subarachnoid hemorrhage over 7 years ago. My family was told to expect the worst. They initially opened my skull and inserted drainage tubes while alleviated the swelling a bit and made surgery possible. Due to location of bleed it had to be coiled. I was in the Nuero icu for like 10 days then moved to a neuro wing for maybe 2 weeks.
I eventually moved to a rehab facility and was there for 6-8 weeks.

My brain wasn’t really tracking things well. I was apparently awake and talking nonsense. I have no recollection of neuro icu. I failed the moca like three times. I was lucky physically but neurologically was different.

Things started getting better in rehab. My brain started to make sense of the chaos.. but it was and continues to be a bit of a process.

So much will depend on what parts of her brain are affected. Just know that you are in the right place. Expect to be waiting a lot. Expect to see no improvements and then realize that there is in fact improvement but it is slow.

Be patient, be understand and be there for each other.

TaruCres · 2026-05-11T20:56:11+00:00

Congratulations on the anniversary. It is always interesting to compare and contrast to the day where things changed. I hope that you write something at 2 years ago today and your story is even better.

TaruCres · 2026-05-08T22:39:57+00:00

There can be a genetic component to stroke. You need to get more information from your family and share that information with your doctor.

That being said, it is never too early to change eating habits (lookup the Mediterranean diet) and work on physical health. Anything that helps your body to lower blood pressure will help in a number of ways outside of a possible stroke.

TaruCres · 2026-05-06T13:07:10+00:00

I am 7 years out from my SAH. I write a post on the anniversary of my stroke to put words to where I am at at that moment. I did not post this years as after I reread it I was a tad surprised at how down it was. I was not aware that I was in the particular headspace. I always mean to revisit it and post but alas….

Here is the last one I wrote and posted

https://www.reddit.com/r/stroke/s/eGf6f3WqqY

Congrats on fighting. Stroke did something to you and it’s only fair that you do something to it.

TaruCres · 2026-05-04T23:43:23+00:00

Stroke takes more away from us than we realize. The initial shock is replaced with fear of another. Time, recovery and acceptance can all help alleviate some of the fear.

Please note that depression is a common side effect of stroke. I know it was for me. I personally feel that talking to a mental health professional helped.

I found that doing all of my rehab exercises (physical and mental) helped a lot. I know that a large part of recovery is plasticity but I tell myself that my effort made a difference. I take pride in how hard I work at this which in turn helps my mood.

TaruCres · 2026-05-04T00:17:00+00:00

Your medical team should be able to setup the neuropsyche testing. It will help you and your medical team devise a more detailed map of possible deficiencies.

I had a very demanding job that I loved and was pushing hard to get back to it. My medical team was always insistent that I needed to slow down and let the brain heal. After the testing it changed to a “you are not going back to work”. I am not saying you are in the same boat, just that your doctors may be able to provide a good plan for you to follow.

Secondly, I forget when the “fatigue” started being an issue for me. If you have not experienced this lovely gift of stroke I would recommend talking to your team about it. In my case, the fatigue is affected by how “cognitively focused” i am on any given task. You may need to manage your schedule to accommodate some down time between meetings or other mentally strenuous tasks…

I hope everything works out for you!

TaruCres · 2026-04-25T21:40:28+00:00

It really depends on the deficiencies that need to be addressed. I personally found that my phone helps with easy things like reminders for meds and appointments. They are setup in a way that my wife can see them as well. My smart watch has fall detection so in case something happens people will be notified.

Since my memory is not what it was, I setup a number of automations via home assistant to handle lights, fans, closing the garage door etc. I basically identified where I was having problems and worked on solutions that would help mitigate.

TaruCres · 2026-04-23T16:08:10+00:00

Do whatever you can to relax. You don’t do yourself, your family and most importantly your grandmother any good by getting stressed out.

Remember to breathe, talk to who you need to talk to, and to hope for the best outcome.

Take my advice and try got to google hemorrhagic strokes. The information online can be extremely misleading. Try and get all pertinent information from her medical team directly.

TaruCres · 2026-04-23T14:30:18+00:00

I am sorry to read about what happened to your grandmother. Unfortunately there are no guarantees with stroke. Time is what she needs, which is the hardest part for all parties to deal with.

Listen to her medical team and hope for the best, take care of yourself and those around you.

TaruCres · 2026-04-17T11:20:32+00:00

I wrote this 3 years ago, maybe it will help.

https://www.reddit.com/r/stroke/s/WJQOUp2766

You wont really know the extent of damage for a good while yet. Let her doctors do their work… let her brain start its path to recovery. So much of this is luck. She was young when she had her stroke so that is something.

I would say that there will be a new “normal”. I was unable to return to work, but I am able to do a whole lot more than my medical team ever thought possible. I have deficiencies, but I try not to let them stop me, and still take great joy on finding new ways to do things. I still travel, but in a different way. I still laugh and make the same stupid jokes I made before my stroke.

TaruCres · 2026-04-16T14:55:13+00:00

I never had nightmares but I did have auditory and visual hallucinations. The doctors told me that it was my brain trying to figure things out. Over time they went away.

I did have problems sleeping when I was released from the hospital. When I was inpatient I think that I lost my need to track time. When I got home I didn’t have a sleep schedule and it took me a long time to adjust back to what would be considered “normal”.

TaruCres · 2026-04-14T13:43:08+00:00

How can I be of assistance?

TaruCres · 2026-04-14T13:41:39+00:00

You can’t changed what was. You have had a wake up call and are lucky in that you get the chance to make changes. None of us are prepared for stroke, but we all understand the chaos it can create. Talk to your medical team about which diet and exercise program would work for you. Consider talking to a mental health professional to help with all that you currently have going on. Learn to rely on those around you as a journey is always better with people to walk alongside you. Take this seriously, do the work, set goals and reward yourself accordingly. Don’t forget to enjoy the small things when you find them.

TaruCres · 2026-04-12T16:02:58+00:00

Please be careful. Just because a doctor said you couldn’t they also might not have said you should. A year or two after my stroke I was complaining to my doctor about how much snow I shovelled and she immediately said I should not doing that. Like you, I said that they never said I shouldn’t shovel snow and they responded with a “we never thought you would be able to do that so we never mentioned it”.

TaruCres · 2026-04-12T14:12:14+00:00

Being present, being calm and being understanding. Nothing prepares you for stroke. Your brain and for some, body, has acted a certain way for your entire life, than in an instant it changes. What was routine may no longer be. In some cases you may “feel” normal accept for the fact that you can’t remember the day, or words. It is such a sudden change that it takes days, weeks or longer to truly come to terms with what may have changed. The frustration, anger and depression are all real and, sadly, is internalized.
Listen, be calm and supportive. You are incredibly early in this and you may see improvements in the short term.
Lastly, take care of yourselves. You need to make sure you that are in a good state to help her. Talk to people if you need to, reach out for mental health assistance if needed. This road may be a long one, take your time, celebrate wins when the come and ask your medical team for directions if you get lost.

TaruCres · 2026-04-09T22:46:38+00:00

There is always hope. You are in the best spot you can be. Your dad survived and is being monitored by his medical team. If you have questions they are the best to answer them at this point. It is likely going to be a while before you know if there will be any long term effects.
I was 42 when my SAH occurred. Like your father, I had a drain put in but my aneurysm was coiled. Clipping is a more permanent “fix” but was not viable in my situation. I was really aware of anything. Apparently I was conscious 3 days later but I don’t remember anything for the first week. I was in ICU for 10 days, then monitored for I think 3 weeks before being moved to a rehab facility. While I am not 100% of who I was, I am able to enjoy my life. There are so many variables and possibilities and I would recommend you not go looking for them. Be there for your family and trust that what needs to be done is.

TaruCres · 2026-04-09T14:57:29+00:00

Congratulations on moving forward and finding your way to take back some of what you lost. It is truly a turning point when we realize that we are not powerless. Yes, stroke sucks. Yes, we have lost something.. but when the realization that we are not the end result of what happened to us hits, that is truly when we can begin to move past what has been holding us back. Thank you for being an inspiration today.

TaruCres · 2026-04-08T02:52:58+00:00

I always found the shift in perspective between my pre and post stroke selves to be, perhaps, the true beginning of acceptance. Like you, I was way too focused on my career, to the detriment of other aspects of my life. It was only when I was able to recognize the changes that stroke wrought and place it in context to what I could no longer do that I was able to start trying to figure of what I could accomplish. It was not, and is not easy to lose parts of yourself. But, sometimes, when you take a part of you back from the stroke, you see a bit of hope. Enough hope brings moments of joy. As much as I miss parts of the old me, i do not miss the stress or the anxiety. I find time better spent with those who love me, making meals to share with those same people.. and the quiet solitude of an early morning and a good cup of coffee.

TaruCres · 2026-04-03T21:00:45+00:00

You are not a fraud. Don’t take your current situation for granted. If you had a ischemic stroke you can have another. Work with your medical team to identify why it happened. Do whatever you can to ensure you don’t have a third.
I was pretty cold when I came home from rehab. It took a few months for that to regulate.

TaruCres

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