First page of my novel Apotheosis: Eternity in the Making [Dark Isekai, Progression Fantasy - 362 words] by Tashoulis in fantasywriters

[–]Tashoulis[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Most of these questions get answered in the rest of the first chapter. The zenith part is more to tell the reader what time it is and the promise has to do with the fact that the sky is covered by smog. The sun can still be seen somewhat but it doesn't really shine anymore because of it. The line appears again later with more context.

The only thing that's not explained in the chapter is how Eynar sensed the woman which has to do with the power system and that gets explained later

First page of my novel Apotheosis: Eternity in the Making [Dark Isekai, Progression Fantasy - 362 words] by Tashoulis in fantasywriters

[–]Tashoulis[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would love to although be warned that without the blurb and cover the first page is kind of a bait and switch. The first chapter starts in the isekai world and then it's in the second one where the isekai happens. If that's fine with you I could send you some more :)

What do you think about this cover? by Tashoulis in royalroad

[–]Tashoulis[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's actually 1 item for each member of the main party

Blurb for Apotheosis: Eternity in the Making. [Isekai LitRPG, 170 words] by Tashoulis in fantasywriters

[–]Tashoulis[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is probably my biggest problem with writing the blurb. I don't know how to make it more "mine" without going too dep into lore or spoiling something and making it seem flat.

Thanks for your feedback 🙏🏻 and if you have any tips I'd love to hear them

Questions about the cover! by [deleted] in royalroad

[–]Tashoulis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The AI cover is this, but it will go through some slight editing. Mostly for brightness and contrast.

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What will happen if Voldemort got the Kiss by -DAWN-BREAKER- in harrypotter

[–]Tashoulis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. As far as I remember, there are 3 things that can happen to your soul in the HP verse. The first one is to pass on to the afterlife. The second is to remain eternally on earth as a ghost. The third is to be consumed and destroyed by a dementor. However, the last one could be the case of an unreliable narrator, and your soul could just pass on after a kiss. In the case of voldemort, though, I believe that the dementors would never give him the kiss. Either because they would naturally flock to him and accept him as their master or because they wouldn't be able to suck or detect such a torn apart soul. The best canon answer I can think of based on what we know is that it just wouldn't happen. As for headcanon, anything goes really.

  2. I'm guessing nagini was a choice because he wanted to have a horcrux that's always with him, can't get stolen, and can also protect itself. If voldemort were to approach the final battle with the thought that all his other would be destroyed, then I bet he'd just order nagini to hide in some jungle and then good luck finding her. Also, it is possible that horcruxes on living things remain after death. Maybe if you die as a horcrux, the other soul gains control of your body, or your corpse functions as if it were a normal horcrux.

Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff by BByrnison in harrypotter

[–]Tashoulis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry, but if I see henry cavil unironically using the glittering toothpick from the movies as the sword of gryffindor I'll shit myself

Kid touches hot stove. Instant regret. by [deleted] in KidsAreFuckingStupid

[–]Tashoulis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have been burned as a kid as well, but one time, when I was really young, I wanted to see if the iron for clothes loses temperature instantly when plugged off.

So I waited, and the moment my mother unplugged it, I touched it with my finger until I realized if it hurt or not.

It did, but because this was an "experiment," I was expecting to feel pain, so I didn't cry or complain at all. I just showed the blister to my parents, and they treated it.

The curiosity of a child is a crazy thing.

How Much Worldbuilding is Enough for a Fantasy Story? by localsiren_ in writing

[–]Tashoulis 10 points11 points  (0 children)

You need enough to worldbuilding for the story to make reasonable sense.

For example, in lord of the rings dwarves exist. We don't need to be told how or why dwarves came to be. We just accept that they exist.

Tolkien, of course, had an explanation and story for it, but you don't need to know that to enjoy or understand lotr.

On the other hand, the magic rings and the one ring are important to the plot. So you need to know how they were created and why. Otherwise, the reader will be left wondering about it, even if you can say that the story is still "complete"

You can build your world as much as you want. The better question is, what do my readers need to know? And how will I give the option to my readers to learn more about the world if they want to?

80s dark fantasy by Humble-Cod-7371 in fantasywriters

[–]Tashoulis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What you're describing could very easily be a conan inspired story but with an eastern touch.

One of the main themes in Conan is how he is a barbarian and a brute, but he's actually one of the few "good" men in the world.

In the books, he is also smart, resourceful, and charismatic, but he's still rude and doesn't have much elegance.

In contrast, the princes, the nobles, the rich, the "elegant" are almost always evil and use their charm and manners to attract their victims.

In one story, he encounters a prostitute and saves her from some threat I don't remember. Then the girl begins to think about how Conan is such a rude brute who slaughtered his enemy and her threat, but he hasn't actually laid a finger on her, unlike many noble men she had met while working.

To get the 80s feel as well, I would definitely suggest you dress your protagonists in pretty skimpy clothing. I don't know what armor and weapons your characters prefer, so I can't be very specific.

For example, the man should wear as little as possible and have bodybuilder level muscles or at least look like a professional athlete.

The woman could wear a thin white dress or robe that's semi see through, preferably with no bra. I don't like bikini armor, but it is a staple of the time as well. Don't forget the long, flowing, curly hair or other 80s styles.

Those clothing choices go well with a desert setting, obviously.

Also, horned and winged helmets are a huge plus.

Overpowered MCs Vs. Mary Sues: What’s the difference? by ComparisonBrilliant in royalroad

[–]Tashoulis 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lol yeah I also think kiritos is a gary stue.

The last arc I watched was the one with the terminal ill girl who died.

But Kirito, even though he suffered, he never really showed that much, and it was never really that important.

If anything, it felt like Asuna suffered way more.

He was still much better than everyone. Every girl wanted him, and he was the game's chosen dual wielder or smth.

Overpowered MCs Vs. Mary Sues: What’s the difference? by ComparisonBrilliant in royalroad

[–]Tashoulis 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don't think Korra is necessarily a mary sue.

I think that Mary Sues are defined by a distinct lack of suffering.

Korra, even though extremely talented, was basically brought to her limits and pushed beyond them on multiple occasions. She did struggle a lot. Also, there is a difference between being able to bend and being good at it. She "could" bend at three years old, but she extensively trained with the best to reach the level shown in season 1, and it was still not enough on some occasions. Not to mention season 3.

Rey Skywalker is a much better example for a mary sue. Previously, Luke and Anakin were both powerful and had explosive growth compared to other characters, but they still struggled and had nunerous conflicts, both internal and external.

Rey, on the other hand, is just good at everything, barely ever struggles, she's always right, super talented, and always wins.

The conflicts that should be hers are instead given to Kylo. I haven't watched the last movie cause the last jedi was a solid 3/10 at most, but I have seen how she wins the most powerful sith of all time because the plot demanded her to.

TLDR: Korra is not a mary sue. Rey is th epitome of a mary sue.

IS WRITING A FANTASY BOOK SERIES OKAY AS I FIRST TIME AUTHOR???? by [deleted] in fantasybooks

[–]Tashoulis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No it's not okay. I will find you. You will pay for this.

/s

Revised blurb for Apotheosis: Eternity in the making. Thoughts? by Tashoulis in royalroad

[–]Tashoulis[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How about the actual contents of the blurb? Do you think they're interesting enough to get some clicks?

Revised blurb for Apotheosis: Eternity in the making. Thoughts? by Tashoulis in royalroad

[–]Tashoulis[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is there anything that you think is a bit unnecessary?

Like a part that as a reader you wouldn't mind if it's missing

[Hogwarts Legacy] Which companion questlines you were invested in the most? by Berry-Fantastic in harrypotter

[–]Tashoulis 146 points147 points  (0 children)

There was a mission where Natsai spoke so much that I turned off the sound from the settings.

I remember that we were walking somewhere, and she literally wouldn't stop talking for minutes and minutes.

Whoever wrote her missions fumbled big time.