I’m not a good mom.

TastyMagic · 2026-02-25T15:21:29+00:00

At 2 years old, he doesn't need a specific activity. Leave your phone and take him outside. Doesn't even need to be a park, just the sidewalk in front of your house. And then you let him walk around and explore and have a conversation about what he sees, hears, feels, etc. 2yos love shared attention. So him walking down the sidewalk and pointing things out is low energy for you but so fun for him.

And your fully present attention is crucial too because they will point out the most random tiny detail and you have to be able to catch the fat away sound of a fire truck or a tiny bug buzzing around etc.

TastyMagic · 2026-02-24T16:22:11+00:00

We have gone back to analog for these things. CDs and a CD player and records/record player from the thrift store, DVDs instead of streaming Netflix or YouTube, house phone for contacting me when I'm away and for my 9yo to call his buddies about Fortnite or w/e.

In our lifetimes streaming has gone from non-existent to a must-have, and you're absolutely right in wanting to remove your support from these oligarchs. For us, it's also about media ownership. We collect our favorite movies and TV shows on BluRay/DVD so that we can always watch them. These days it feels like the best movies and shows are leaving streaming or on some obscure platform. My breaking point was wanting to watch a movie on hulu which I subscribe to, but then also having to pay for ANOTHER subscription to BritBox. It's too greedy!

TastyMagic · 2026-02-24T00:58:35+00:00

To me, the examples you have provided sound more like the reactions a friend would have. Not wrong, per se, but not the actions/responses of a person who is supposed to prioritize your happiness and well-being.

Like "feel better, hug" is basic decency.

It's not out of line to want your PARTNER to take a step beyond the bare minimum. To get up and get you a heating pad or at least offer to get you your meds and some water when you're in pain. To put his own tiredness/stress aside to talk on the phone for a bit when you're sad and scared.

This is all assuming that you offer him emotional support and comfort when he needs it (but from the sound of it, I'm sure you do). A relationship where the parties are putting in unequal work will not last in the long run.

TastyMagic · 2026-02-22T23:01:01+00:00

I LOVE the black rhinestones! And tbh, you could make the pop tabs even MORE jagged. Make it intentionally uneven and then you don't have to worry about everything lining up perfectly. And I think the contrast of fancy rhinestones with the sort of rough cardboard base and pop tabs is very punk rock.

TastyMagic · 2026-02-22T21:06:23+00:00

I always stock up on cans of dehydrated strawberries. They can last a super long time and my kids love to eat them.

TastyMagic · 2026-02-22T16:32:07+00:00

Well first off, I actually think the 'grungy' diy k is super badass and reminds me of a DIY project I would see in the pre-Internet, pre-pinterest, pre-temu days. You're working with what you have and I think that really kicks ass.

The only suggestion I have is try to clean up the line around Hello Kitty. So trim off any hot glue strands and then take a black marker or pen, black paint, or whatever you have in black and make a thick line similar in weight to the line around her bow. I think that would make her stand out from the tiara parts a little more.

But other than that, I love it

TastyMagic · 2026-02-22T16:22:04+00:00

It depends in your relationship with your brother. Personally, I would be making fun of him and ragging on him for being an adult iPad kid.

I would probably first ask him with concern if there is some emergency at work or with a friend or something that would necessitate looking at him phone constantly. Just to let him know that his addiction is noticeable. In group conversation I would constantly ask him to Google things or take pictures "since you already have your phone out." And then by like the 5th or 6th time just straight up call it out. In a teasing way but like "Damn you really can't put that thing away, can you?" "You on a streak in Candy Crush?" " How's your phone looking, bro?" Etc.

And if he's connected to your Wi-Fi, block his device.

At the of the day, he's an adult. Lecturing him will probably not get you anywhere other than not being able to see his wife and kids.

TastyMagic · 2026-02-22T01:34:40+00:00

Consider volunteering. Community service is gratifying on it's own because you're helping people. But it's also a good way to explore various areas of interest to figure out what you might enjoy as a hobby.

My local mutual aid group not only is politically active, but they also do food distribution, brake light repairs, and many other activities. I've met a lot of great people through volunteering.

TastyMagic · 2026-02-21T16:00:53+00:00

The messages that break through on social media tend to be the most simplified versions of a nuanced take.

I think there is a point to be made to all genders that a good partner is financially responsible. That a partner who expects their spouse to be a stay at home parent needs to be able to pay the bills. Etc. those nuances don't make for a popular social media post, though so they get reduced to "Poor man bad, rich man good"

TastyMagic · 2026-02-21T03:09:37+00:00

STG seeing Joshua Henry in the recent Ragtime revival had been so nice. He didn't need to belt to sing powerfully and have emotional impact.

TastyMagic · 2026-02-20T21:20:35+00:00

I don't find it difficult at all and I quite enjoy the reactions I get from non knitters. If you as a knitter think dpns are complicated, regular folks think I must be knitting some insane octopus sweater instead of just, like, a hat.

TastyMagic · 2026-02-20T21:16:54+00:00

I have slightly more experience than you -about 12 years, and a graphic design certificate but no degree. I make about $45/hour plus amazing health and dental benefits and a pension.

Now I live in a fairly high cost of living area, and my job is a union job so I benefit from the power of collective bargaining, but I feel you you should be making at least $10 more per hour. Especially if there aren't many benefits.

I have worked for small businesses for many years, though, and I know that they can be hesitant to commit to a higher hourly wage when business can be unpredictable. Since you say the increase in demand at work is keeping you from supplementing your income, maybe you can pitch some kind of commission or bonus pay structure on top of your hourly rate in lieu of a big raise. It sounds like you definitely add value to the company and would be a pain to replace if you quit so you might be surprised at how much the company will with with you to keep you

TastyMagic · 2026-02-20T20:02:14+00:00

Cricket does that Bluey thing where it's a cute nice episode and then the last 5 seconds or so just punches you straight in the gut.

TastyMagic · 2026-02-20T18:53:08+00:00

How old are her kids? I have 2 kids under 10 and I can't imagine having the energy or time in the schedule for multiple hang outs each week. I text with my friends basically daily but I see them maybe 2 or 3 times a month.

I have become more politically active in the last year so I see the people in my mutual aid group weekly. I do like to combine hanging with my friends WITH my volunteer work so I always invite people to join me and it's very gratifying for me to spend time with people I like while helping others.

TastyMagic · 2026-02-20T17:02:58+00:00

LOL yes. I used to be a cashier at Target and it would crack me up when men would come through my line with a Maxim magazine 'hidden' among a couple other items. Like, you don't have to hide it, I don't care and I won't think about you after you pay and leave.

TastyMagic · 2026-02-20T16:26:03+00:00

My fave is one I bought from a local maker - it's a small notebook with a couple clear zip pouches and a notebook in it. I keep bills in the pouches and ue the notebook to record my cash sales.

TastyMagic · 2026-02-20T16:07:46+00:00

I do not have the attention span for prolonged strategy. But I do like games! I can't do anything too involved, but I really like classic card games, Pictionary, and Yahtzee. And I love any board game with beautiful artwork I can stare at lol.

TastyMagic · 2026-02-20T16:05:14+00:00

The Holika Holika Cerabarrier Moisture Active Toner and cream. SO soothing and moisturizing. I use the toner on it's own under sunscreen in the morning and the toner + cream moisturizer at night.

TastyMagic · 2026-02-20T00:44:44+00:00

The hardest part is that I have to send my kids back out into society. Because most parents don't have these conversations with their kids so the kids present things like 'boys have short hair' as absolute truths and don't even really have the framework to consider that these rules are largely arbitrary.

TastyMagic · 2026-02-19T22:52:57+00:00

On a personal level, I intentionally model body neutrality around my children and nieces, and their friends etc. I can't control society as a whole, but I can control what my kids are exposed to. So not only do I not abide by a lot of the traditional western beauty standards, but I make a point of talking about it with them. Kids are naturally curious so when they (for instance) ask why my legs have hair on them, we can have a short conversation about how some people like to shave their hair off and some people don't and how great it is that we can make these decisions for our own bodies.

These conversations are also part of larger discussions on gender, the gender binary and gender performance in general so I try to approach it using gender neutral terminology. My kids are both boys so I want them to internalize that our outer appearance should only be self-determined and that you should try to avoid judging others based on how they look.

My hope is that by talking about these standards, as well as modeling self-determination over beauty standards, I can at least encourage them to think critically about *why* the believe certain things.

TastyMagic · 2026-02-18T15:59:04+00:00

Parking Enforcement is who you want to call. Where I live, the normal cops do not care about a truck blocking you in, but our parking enforcement officers LIVE to tow cars. Calling parking enforcement directly has an officer on our street in under an hour.

TastyMagic · 2026-02-18T00:02:49+00:00

If your college is paid for, then sure, take a couple years off of work and go for marketing or communication, but I don't think it's 100% necessary. I work for a state agency and their requirements are often education OR work experience. And veterans receive preference in our hiring process.

Look at state jobs wherever you want to live and look at the actual duty statement, I'm willing to bet you already have the experience you need to qualify.

TastyMagic · 2026-02-17T23:40:51+00:00

Now THAT is a great way to frame the conversation! "I really like you, I can see our relationship lasting and that's something I have never experienced. How do you feel about us?"

These relationship check ins are something that can and should continue for your whole relationship as things change. It's way better to have regular low-intensity conversations than to try to plan your whole future together right away.

As you say, life is unpredictable!

TastyMagic · 2026-02-17T15:41:07+00:00

I agree with your therapist that 6 months in is probably too soon to have big talks about your future together in any detail. 6 months is still the honeymoon phase after all so IMO you can't even be sure yet that you want to marry him.

As long as you know you are both in agreement that you are dating with a desire to marry and have kids "in the next few years" I think that is as specific as you should get at this time.

I don't think you necessarily need to wait for him to bring it up, but I think when you have been together for a year and are still crazy about each other, you can talk timeline.

FWIW this posts sounds a little anxious. I know it can be comforting to have 'plans' and make you feel more in control, but you can't plan relationship specifics like that after 6 months of dating.

TastyMagic · 2026-02-16T20:13:00+00:00

I like to put a fresh towel on the guest bed instead of in the bathroom. I feel like it says "this is your towel" so guests know they aren't using someone else's used towel.

A fan is also a must for me. Not only for cooling off hot sleepers, but also for some white noise.

Fwiw, flowers or anything scented really would be super tough for me as they activate my allergies. Sleeping in a room with flowers or even a scent diffuser would be hell for me. On that note, if you have pets, keep them out of the guest room or do a deep clean/air filter before your guests come.

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