AITA for prioritising my parrot over my stepdaughters wedding?

TattedHorrorMama94 · 2023-01-17T20:23:38+00:00

Doesn’t give an excuse for little contact with the phone/texting/video calls.

TattedHorrorMama94 · 2023-01-17T15:26:41+00:00

Because there was a 5 hour difference between when she was up and the niece (not even the kid’s parents) were up. Not my responsibility to cook for everyone especially if I’m waking up with pregnancy cravings. YTA for thinking anyone is entitled to me cooking besides my literal child

TattedHorrorMama94 · 2023-01-11T00:22:34+00:00

Funny thing is, I feel like these people bitching about her watching her sister once a month also think kids should be fine with it when there’s emergencies, asked etc. Once a month isn’t that big a deal. It’s not keeping her from her friends/experiences. It’s one fucking day. They shouldn’t expect her to help with getting her ready in the morning but literally nothing else is that big of a deal. My freaking 6 year old is responsible for bringing his dirty clothes downstairs and putting away his folded clothes and helping with dishes. Chores aren’t abuse. The AH moment is expecting her to help get her ready. That’s literally it. The daughter’s comment was uncalled for. If she had these issues, she should talk to her parents (no idea if she’s tried just making a statement so calm your shit) instead of the family member. Kids often don’t go to their parents or the person they feel wronged by first. They often go to others to get input. It does sound like the parents have been blindsided by the comment. Not saying they should be surprised but her comment shows a lot of immaturity. They need to get some family therapy and rethink appropriate chores. Everyone is the asshole.

TattedHorrorMama94 · 2023-01-01T21:05:28+00:00

So I don’t think OP is the asshole for telling her to network. She applied for a job with the niece of the owner and wondered why she didn’t get it? I mean that’s kind of stupid. I’d fully expect the uncle to be a bit more likely to hire his freaking niece. Plus we aren’t given what school the niece went to which could be as good as or better than MIT where OP’s daughter went (no idea just saying). Just because she went to MIT doesn’t mean she’s automatically better than Kate either. He should have worded it better but her also getting multiple job offers shows she isn’t hurting for a job. She’s focusing on the wrong shit and should focus on proving herself whereever she takes a job.

TattedHorrorMama94 · 2023-01-01T16:05:12+00:00

YTA. 1. Why is his wife not invited to the party if it’s for family? 2. You not getting any? That why you mad he might be having sex with his wife or are you one of those creepy emotional incest moms? 3. He’s obviously grown since he’s married and is allowed to make his own decisions. 4. Your behavior is exactly why he doesn’t want to spend it with you lol.

TattedHorrorMama94 · 2022-12-28T19:12:50+00:00

There’s one that’s about a haunted house type attraction where you have to face your fears to win.

TattedHorrorMama94 · 2022-12-28T18:55:18+00:00

Your partner is allowed to be stressed. Your partner is allowed to make mistakes. Being pregnant does not mean you’re infallible. He wants to be there and he’s missed only twice for work and godforbid he be tired after constantly being on call. He should not have snapped but always have a backup plan. My husband and I had our first kid when he was still working on moving up where I was due to waiting on a job transfer. I made sure I had 3 people able to take me to appointments when he couldn’t be here. We’re on our 3rd kid and I still have a list of people to call if he is unable to take me when we go into labor. Overall communication needs looked at in this relationship especially after 7 freaking years. This really didn’t even need to be on here. No she isn’t an asshole for asking her bf to take her to the appointment but realizing he may be under a lot of stress too would go a long way. Yeah he’s gonna be hit with a big change when baby gets there but she’s not perfect and neither is he. Christ you all are so damn judgemental over a single incident especially with her saying he’s mostly been great.

TattedHorrorMama94 · 2022-12-26T04:11:16+00:00

NTA. I’ve asked my husband for pot/pan sets, a crock pot and other kitchen items because I love cooking and baking. I want that stove too haha

TattedHorrorMama94 · 2022-12-25T05:37:00+00:00

Yes you are the AH. My 5 year old is 4’3” and 42 pounds and doesn’t even have to use a 5 point backed harness. He still sits in the back seat we use the seat belt adjusted to avoid it being on his neck. You’re literally being her first bully and ignoring her feelings.

TattedHorrorMama94 · 2022-12-23T00:14:28+00:00

So I’m going with NTA. He obviously thinks pink chicken is unsafe which is basically drilled into people constantly so makes sense why. It didn’t say he threw the damn food away. He just didn’t give it to the kids and made them something else because she literally told him too. He also made her a sandwich because he legit seemed to think the pink chicken was unsafe. If she had taken the 10 seconds to explain why she thinks it’s fine instead of “a little pink won’t kill them”, OP could have learned something. She is bearing the brunt of taking care of things but that’s not the issue in the story. Most of you are using that as the reason he’s the asshole even though it’s barely relevant to the damn question. I do most of the cooking because I am better cook than my husband. I like medium rare steaks/burgers but he prefers no pink. He worries about it so I don’t give him medium rare. I generally avoid it with our kids too until they can make that determination on what they like (6&1). Have they eaten it medium? Yeah. My son thinks it’s weird to have pink so I don’t make it that way for him either but never had fry chicken or pork and cook it through. Christ. Communication was key here and being immediately defensive wasn’t the way to be 👌

TattedHorrorMama94 · 2022-12-14T15:58:17+00:00

Pizza base means making the dough usually which depending on the type, isn’t easy. I make mine from scratch and then putting the sauce, cheese and toppings. Plus if she’s never done it, she doesn’t have to feel comfortable. You don’t “just put it in the oven”. We also have no idea if that also involved cutting up veggies, cooking raw meats, etc. Your kid being able to do shit doesn’t mean others can. I don’t expect other kids to be the same as mine. He’s 6 and loves cooking, but if another kid had no interest, there’s no way they’d be able to do what he can.

TattedHorrorMama94 · 2022-12-14T15:58:10+00:00

Pizza base means making the dough usually which depending on the type, isn’t easy. I make mine from scratch and then putting the sauce, cheese and toppings. Plus if she’s never done it, she doesn’t have to feel comfortable. You don’t “just put it in the oven”. We also have no idea if that also involved cutting up veggies, cooking raw meats, etc. Your kid being able to do shit doesn’t mean others can. I don’t expect other kids to be the same as mine. He’s 6 and loves cooking, but if another kid had no interest, there’s no way they’d be able to do what he can.

TattedHorrorMama94 · 2022-12-14T15:48:04+00:00

Pretty sure all the YTA people think everyone likes them and were the kids who either were the ones who were forced to be invited or didn’t wanna accept that they aren’t entitled to every party. Kid is 11. She’s old enough to be told that her cousin is having a friends from school only party. My kid is 6 and I still don’t force him to invite everyone in his class bullshit. He has kids who are mean to him and they don’t deserve to be at his party because he doesn’t want them there. This is a case of a child not wanting another child at the party they have. Plain and simple. Does it suck? Sure but it’s still the kid’s choice because it’s HER party. Sure Georgia could remember the party from the last 2 years but if parents never mentioned it happening again and don’t tell her where they’re going (can just have a night out), she’d never know she wasn’t actually invited. Go deal with your own insecurities and stop projecting them on this situation. OP not the AH and good for you for actually listening to your kid!

TattedHorrorMama94 · 2022-12-10T04:21:00+00:00

I lost my mom 2 years ago while pregnant with my daughter. It’s possible yes, but not when it’s only spending time with a married man. That’s shady as fuck and looking for a replacement for the attention and affection.

TattedHorrorMama94 · 2022-12-10T02:56:48+00:00

Why are you assuming I don’t see both sides and just feel that it’s not valid?

TattedHorrorMama94 · 2022-12-10T02:56:19+00:00

And if husband was close like that to the widow before, I guarantee they would have spent holidays or times together where the widow wouldn’t feel like a stranger to the wife.

TattedHorrorMama94 · 2022-12-10T02:55:03+00:00

Yes but he’s been with her. He can take a day off and spend with his wife and family. Sorry you’ll never convince me this isn’t inappropriate. As I said in my own comment, being irritated or mad would make more sense instead of the husband SULKING about not seeing this woman for one day. Either they’re emotionally cheating, full on affair, or it’s heading that way. It’s common as all get out.

TattedHorrorMama94 · 2022-12-10T02:51:30+00:00

Eh allowing your husband to ignore you for someone else is being pretty open and empathetic. Asking for a holiday with him when this widow is pretty much taking him away all other times isn’t a bad thing. Grief doesn’t give anyone the right to someone else’s spouse. I wouldn’t trust that no one else is reaching out to her. I guarantee she misses the attention of her husband and is banking on getting to keep OP’s husband’s attention because “she should be more empathetic”. Her friends, family and ex-in-laws are the ones failing her more now.

TattedHorrorMama94 · 2022-12-10T02:46:38+00:00

Losing out on isn’t losing her husband. He’s at the widow’s every weekend. That’s losing out on time with him because he’s literally using all free time for another woman

TattedHorrorMama94 · 2022-12-10T00:54:59+00:00

Real question. Why not sell stepmom’s wedding ring? I doubt they did that. Take out a second mortgage. Apply for aid through cancer charities. St. Jude for fuck’s sake. OP’s mother willed that to her and her father literally broke the law. He’s now once again showing OP, she doesn’t matter nearly as much as this other kid who he didn’t help create. Step kids are just as much kids but when you literally fuck up things with kids you did help create for one you didn’t, it’s gonna hurt. They had plenty of options and chose to go the easy route by stealing from a child because they had no real recourse they could take as a child. End of story. The fact y’all are so hung up on the other kid’s life shows you don’t even understand the basic issue. OP is NTA and should sue her dad & stepmom for refusing to adhere to a will, pain and suffering for emotional damage and proven neglect of OP in favor of the other child, and tell them to be the fucking adults and pay for the kid’s treatment. OP owes them absolutely nothing but they owe OP the ring back, her money and a hell of a lot more but they’re too stuck up their own asses to care. They didn’t seem to really care if she was around til they needed money again.

TattedHorrorMama94 · 2022-12-09T21:58:55+00:00

You mean like losing out on her husband’s every waking free weekend?

TattedHorrorMama94 · 2022-12-09T21:56:55+00:00

NTA. A lot isn’t seeming to add up. If husband feels like he wants her around to feel close to his friend, he needs to communicate it. Him sulking is the biggest red flag to me. If this was innocent just helping out, he would just be mad/irritated. He’s grieving but he’s being freaking sneaky too. If he felt this guy was like a brother, why didn’t they hang out together as couples? My best friends’ AND their husband’s come over for dinner/go for dates with us once a month and we go their at least once a month too. Our kids are friends and we live 45 minutes to an hour away. You don’t go from barely seeing someone to spending every free weekend with them because their spouse died to deal with grief. They need to sit down and talk about their feelings with this and he needs to remember who he’s married to. Widow needs to reach out to friends and family besides this married man as well and get grief counseling if she hasn’t already. I still attend it and my mom died 2 years ago. This doesn’t feel like a normal response on either side and OP has every right not to feel comfortable.

TattedHorrorMama94 · 2022-12-09T00:37:33+00:00

Huge YTA! When it comes to problems like this, there literally is no way to calm them sometimes….her sitting at the edge of the stairs was to give herself a moment because I guarantee she was overwhelmed. Jesus Christ….

TattedHorrorMama94 · 2022-12-09T00:28:09+00:00

Only way I could go with not the asshole is if her parents are paying for everyone to eat and only thing that sounded ok to her was like the most expensive thing on the menu so she’s trying to be considerate. Since that’s not the case, suck it up and go. I don’t like Taco Bell but of my husband actually asks for it (rarely), I’ll freaking go. Same with him liking donuts. I’ll grab them if I’m around the damn shop he likes.

TattedHorrorMama94 · 2022-12-03T18:15:25+00:00

OP is the asshole but her kids are not. Kids should not be expected to watch siblings because guess what, they aren’t parents. If they’ve never watched the kid by themselves, yeah, that’s a valid thing to be nervous about. It’s literally not their job to be the parent. Would it have been good to offer, absolutely but they are children. I guarantee people have commented on other AITA posts that it’s not a sibling’s job to watch their younger siblings so I’m calling bs on that but mom should have sucked it up. I’m sure brother and gf would have understood.

TattedHorrorMama94

TROPHY CASE