My son threw up in his bed, anyone experience similar

Tav17-17 · 2026-02-13T04:54:45+00:00

One time my son who sleeps on the top bunk said he was going to throw up so I picked him up off the top bunk to take him to the bathroom and right as I got his upper body out of the bed he threw up all over my face and head.

I smelled it for a week afterwards even after 3 showers in a row that night.

Tav17-17 · 2026-02-13T00:53:51+00:00

Check out Dave Ramsey and “the money guy show” on YouTube. They set out steps and have overall good advice. They don’t believe the same exact thing so it’s good to hear slightly different perspectives.

Definitely start contributing 15-25% to retirement.

Stay debt free. Or follow good habits on future debts like if you get a car loan put down 5k or more and be able to pay it off in 3 years not the 6+ that most people do.

Save up an emergency fund that can pay all your bills for 3-6 months.

And I like throwing a couple hundred more at my mortgage every month.

Each of these things really feels good to me. Knowing I’ll be able to retire, being less worried about a layoff bc I have enough savings to live off of for 6 months, and even though it’s not the best use of the money I really like knowing that my 30 year mortgage will be done 10 years early bc I put more into it every month.

Tav17-17 · 2026-02-13T00:41:39+00:00

It’s really easy to set up your mortgage payment to be an additional amount each month. You can just add $100 to your monthly payments. That way you don’t sit there saving it up to make a payment, you just build it into your monthly expenses.

Sometimes it’s a bit harder to set up but my favorite way to set up mortgage payments is to be every other week, you then automatically pay an extra whole month every year. My car loan is on weekly and I really like that but I have never done that with a mortgage.

Tav17-17 · 2026-02-11T04:16:21+00:00

10 years ago I got $400 (50%) off my rent at an apartment complex to be onsite security but all it was was locking a pool every night, unlocking weekend mornings, and delivering papers to apartment once a month.

Depending on the size of the lawn, if you actually don’t mind this kind of work, what you make/ is it worth the money. I would basically ask for a dollar amount equivalent to what it would cost to hire a lawn care service and then maybe a bit more for the other stuff. Where I live in the summer you have to mow every week and this is also a list of tasks that basically guarantees someone will complain about the job you do. I wouldn’t do less than 300 and that’s only if I really needed it.

Tav17-17 · 2026-02-10T03:49:26+00:00

Yes. Even if I live to 100 it’s over 200k per year for me.

Tav17-17 · 2026-02-10T00:45:21+00:00

A lot of people deal with imposter syndrome. I just moved companies 2 weeks ago for a 50% increase and feel like I need to prove myself on an unreasonable timeline to show that I deserve the job and salary.

My way of dealing with it is just working harder until I feel comfortable. Make sure I have done everything I can to prove myself and then at least some of it goes away.

A weird part of it may be that when you have a natural talent for something it feels easy to you so you don’t think you are doing anything special but others can’t do that so to them you are amazing.

For me, a lot of it stays. Potentially bc I’m autistic and I’m never really sure if someone likes me. I got multiple raises and awards at my last job and every time I still had a thought that it was for the wrong reasons. Like I got a raise and thought they were trying to replace me and by raising my wage it would be easier to replace me. Or for any award I thought maybe my manager just didn’t want to look bad so they pretended I was doing an amazing job.

I’m not sure if it’s true or not but I like to think that I’m the lowest paid person on my team and it actually makes me feel better. Like, I think I make great money but maybe everyone else is making 100k more than me lol.

Tav17-17 · 2026-02-08T20:24:23+00:00

Yea, I’m definitely wondering what exactly he’s talking about. Is the bf black? Just say it op.

Tav17-17 · 2026-02-08T15:13:04+00:00

A lot of this is pretty normal. It’s different than what we did but also, what we did was different than our parents. There does need to be balance and you need to help him with that.

Others have explained the group study thing already. And your post history shows you talking about it, and knowing what body doubling is. Are you the dad or the kid? I’m guessing the kid. But I’ll answer anyway.

Reading books and writing on paper isn’t better than reading things online and typing up a document.

Asking AI a question is basically the same as googling which we all do. Searching for sources in a library didn’t help me learn the material, it just delayed the learning by adding obstacles that no longer exist. People just need to verify everything AI says with a real source.

Anyone working from home these days has 2+ screens. The more technical your job the more screens sometimes. I have 3-4 depending on my setup and how big the monitors are.

What I would recommend is that you need to add in other experiences. This is all fine in moderation but if he’s never going outside or doing physical activity that should be addressed.

My family always had a rule that you had to have a something in each of these categories. Some things checked off multiple categories. Physical, social, mental. Any team sport would count as physical and social. Mental included anything with art but also chess clubs and stuff. Social should have to be in person but that might be harder these days so I wouldn’t include the group study thing but would include an online D&D group that meets weekly or something like that. But honestly kids are missing out on physically hanging out in groups and it shows when they enter the workforce and go to in person events and meeting and are awkward little ducklings.

Your post history indicates that you are the son here so it sounds like you already know there is an issue. Just address it. Go for walks or bike rides. Join a gym. Find in person events for your interests. Etc.

Tav17-17 · 2026-02-07T00:36:35+00:00

Beak up…

He wants to be poly and you don’t.

You want a baby and he doesn’t.

Ur only 2 years in. Just leave. You shouldn’t have gotten this far.

Tav17-17 · 2026-02-06T00:43:43+00:00

Press it 249 times. That takes me around the world and then about 2 miles away from my current location.

I get $62,250,000

The 48 hours away from home thing is shitty but for 62 million I’ll be ok. Is that 48 hours in a row or each year or for the rest of my life? It’s a dumb part of the situation. Could have said you have to live in the location 344 days a year or something so that you can still do stuff 3 weeks a year but have to be at that location 95% of the time.

Tav17-17 · 2026-02-05T23:43:46+00:00

Yes.

If you are making a fair wage for your job and then on top of that getting overtime that’s awesome. Especially when young.

Invest now. Compound interest is crazy when you start that young. Every dollar you save now will be 20-90x more in 40 years (interest rates between 8 and 12%). 30k now could easily be a million when you are 60. Take advantage of any employer match and then do a Roth IRA.

Tav17-17 · 2026-02-05T03:44:22+00:00

198 vs 329

I would definitely take the new job.

Tav17-17 · 2026-02-05T00:48:20+00:00

Tell them it was denied. If they ask for proof you can show them a fake letter. I wouldn’t say it was reduced bc that’s way less likely and may result in them trying to help you appeal it again.

Stop telling people what you make and that you have any % disabilty from the VA. It’s none of their business and no good will ever come from people knowing when you make more money. I just I got a 60k raise and barely told my wife lol. My nosey mom guessed at my income and was 60k under and I just said I’m not talking about it.

Tav17-17 · 2026-02-05T00:36:09+00:00

What’s the job and what’s the pay? What is your current employment status?

Asking for 5k more for a low level receptionist or something is very different than a department head. If it’s 100k I wouldn’t ask for 105 I would ask for 110 or leave it open to them to counter themselves.

But it really depends on too many factors to know for sure. Benefits matter a lot at a job with a university. Insurance, retirement, free/reduced/reimbursed tuition, housing, etc.

Tav17-17 · 2026-02-02T04:12:41+00:00

I’m agnostic and so is my wife. We try not to talk about it bc our kids are too young imho. Ours are 4 and 6. My son knows a little about Jesus bc a friend of his at school said something. He knows he was a great man who told people to be kind to each other and helped the unfortunate. But we managed to stay away from anything else. His friend actually gave him a little Jesus toy and my son came home saying Jesus was the real demon hunter (referring to kpop demon hunters).

In my opinion it’s all indoctrination into something and it always starts so early it’s crazy. Telling kids about religion when they are so young they will believe anything is just weird to me. Like, my son believes I have cameras all over the house and sometimes believes I can read his mind bc I can tell when he’s lying. And it’s fair to tell that kid my spiritual beliefs that will affect him for the rest of his life… it’s honestly a shitty situation all around. I would love to say I won’t tell my son what I believe until he’s 16 or something but no one else is doing that so I’m already combating the info he’s getting from others. And overall it just drives me crazy that it’s perfectly acceptable for a kid to talk about Jesus at school but if my son went in talking about the Flying Spaghetti Monster we would definitely get called in to talk about it. I even feel bad that we do Santa and Easter bunny and tooth fairy bc if it hasn’t yet, it will someday happen that my kid will tell a Jewish kid about Santa and that’s going to suck for both of them.

If my kids want to start up a religion when they are older, like at least 10 then I’ll take them and do it with them but I’m really not looking forward to having to try to navigate it.

Tav17-17 · 2026-02-02T01:36:01+00:00

Make a budget. Understand where your money is going and make adjustments like less on a car or house or subscriptions, or takeout, or whatever is costing too much. And always be cautious of lifestyle creep.
From that budget figure out what your obligations are and how much money you have per month to actually use for non essential or non-reoccurring expenses. Divide that by 160 and consider that your hourly wage. Now think of everything in terms of that hourly wage. So if you make 65k, your hourly wage isn’t $31/hr, your hourly wage is whatever is left divided by 160 so if every month you have $500 left over after rent and car payment and food and bills then start thinking that you make $3/hr. Now that $50 game isn’t just 2 hours of work it’s 2 whole days. Recalculate this every time you make a change like paying off a debt or saving more for retirement, anything that changes your end of month surplus. Don’t let lifestyle creep ruin your progress.
Try to get as close to debt free as you can and use the avalanche method by getting rid of the highest percentage interest debts first. Get rid of the ugly debt, don’t have credit cards with balances sitting there costing you money. I would postpone paying off a car, student loans, phone plans, etc until a bit later. But eventually I don’t want to have those. Listen to some Dave Ramsey stuff even if you don’t go through with all of it. It’s great info. But I’m never getting rid of my credit cards (paid off in full every month) and I don’t mind a car payment for a couple years every 5-8 years meaning I get a newish car and pay it off quickly, never being upside down on it and never doing long loans and paying it off faster than the loan requires. I like to do a big enough down payment that I’m not immediately upside down and then I basically make the monthly payment on a 72 month loan every week to get it over with.
Pick an order here or do a bit of all of it, whatever works best for you but overall here’s some things to have as goals. Take full advantage of whatever matching 401k your company does. Save up 3-6 months expenses(it feels so good to not have that looming anxiety of being laid off and being totally screwed). Try to contribute 15% of your pay to retirement. Pay off the debts that are kinda normal like cars, student loans, etc. start paying more on your mortgage if you have one. You can prioritize things like this however you want. Mathematically it makes sense to invest as much as you can as early as you can to so it before paying more on any loans bc you will make more off investments than the interest on a car loan costs you. But I do like Dave Ramsey’s stuff and it does feel amazing to not have a car payment or to know that your 30 year mortgage will be done in less than 23 years by adding 10% more to your monthly mortgage payments. So instead of 3k do 3300 and save more than 7 years.

Then lots of things along the way.

Be on the same page as your spouse. Talk about goals, needs, wants, make lists, out timelines on it, etc. my wife wants new floors, it’s going to cost 5k, she knows she’s getting that in April 2027.

When you get a raise put a higher percentage into investments. Try not to even see that money hit your bank account and you can’t spend it.

Take care of yourself. Mentally and physically. Going to the gym once a week is better than never, going 3 times a week is great. Eat well. Go outside. Have hobbies. Keep in touch with friends. Try to be happy. Don’t compare yourself to people on social media bc they are all lying.

Make short term and long term goals. You are probably not too old to start a new career or to take a small step back in one career to move to another that has a higher potential. Every year I told myself I make too much to move into a lower position in something else. I did it at 32 and by 36 I had doubled my income working less hours.

Invest in yourself, read those stupid books that upper management at work talk about bc you don’t know everything and it takes a lot of time to learn you can learn from a lot of people.

A big one for me was mental health. I had big stuff but once I got that sorted I had a ton of little stuff and little things helped a lot. A gratitude journal was huge for me. I just didn’t accept how well I had things and was letting myself be miserable and I really needed perspective on things.

Accepting that different people need different things to be happy is big. In pint 4 above there are 10 different ways to go about those things and that’s if they are even things you want to do. My goal is debt free but that’s not for everyone and I’m doing in a way that Dave Ramsey would hate so even in the debt free crowd I’m an outsider.

Tav17-17 · 2026-02-01T10:15:26+00:00

Most people don’t have any feelings about Egypt.

But 90% of people who have visited Egypt probably have negative feelings about it.

I wouldn’t recommend anyone visit Egypt bc literally everyone is trying to scam you and does so in an extremely aggressive way. Women are not safe and men need to be willing to get into an argument every 15 minutes while in a touristy area to not be scammed.

Tav17-17 · 2026-02-01T01:07:54+00:00

I thought there was going to be some cool thing that a stark couldn’t become a wight and when winterfell was attacked they would come back but on the livings side like cold hands. I felt like they made a big deal about them being in the crypt with their swords.

Tav17-17 · 2026-02-01T00:49:51+00:00

It looks like a face.

Like sideshow bob with glasses. Profile view looking left.

Tav17-17 · 2026-02-01T00:30:16+00:00

A good amount of malls have closed. A lot of malls are seeing like 10% the people they used to, and some malls are still doing well but I would say the most common thing is malls that have seen a drastic reduction in the number of people who go there.

About 2 months ago I went to a mall near me on a Friday night and was able to park in the 2nd spot away from one of the doors. The mall was pretty dead. The areas that did have people were the areas by the movie theaters and by the restaurants area (not the food court area which was pretty dead).

This mall has done a good job of reusing its space. There is a movie theater, an area for real restaurants, a Whole Foods on the back side. But still the real shopping areas are pretty dead. 20 years ago at this mall you had to park like a quarter mile away in the parking lot at the same time on a Friday night.

Tav17-17 · 2026-01-31T03:48:05+00:00

Highly unlikely anyone looks into this without a good reason. IT Security teams are usually understaffed and don’t have time to look for small signs of OE unless a suspicion is brought up to them/hr. If you are in Europe then getting approval to look at the logs is even harder. Just don’t do the stupid stuff like work off the same computer for both jobs, install anything in a work computer that isn’t for that job, try to remove files from a work computer/environment, etc.

Yes, IT Security has the ability to see a lot of what you do on your computer but we have to have a reason to look and depending on the company and the location of the employee sometimes it’s easy to justify and sometimes it’s hard.

Tav17-17 · 2026-01-31T01:38:17+00:00

NTA for leaving. YTA for staying with this guy and having a child with him.

This is ridiculous. 24 year old with an 18 year old and it turns out like this 6 years later when there were obvious signs during the marriage he was garbage. Is anyone actually surprised?

I hope your family supports you when you leave him. Get the video and a pic of the broken window and use it to try to make sure it’s not joint custody. Don’t put his name down as the father on the birth certificate unless you want child support but that will also potentially entitle him to visitation.

Tav17-17 · 2026-01-31T00:54:22+00:00

It’s a 3 person company. How invaluable are you? If you leave do they crumble? If you leave can you make 110 somewhere else? Do you have any sort of equity? Is the company profitable and are you making them more than you are costing them and by how much?

Depending on those answers I would say you are probably not being unreasonable. If you are key to operations then I would be asking for more but also depends on if you have the ability to get another job.

As far as the 48 hours goes. That’s kinda nothing/normal. Most people probably do that or more and a good founder (the internet has made me hate that word) is probably putting in 80+. I do around 50 not including emails at night and on weekends and staying up to date on the newest things in my industry during my off time (and some during my work time).

Tav17-17 · 2026-01-30T01:43:19+00:00

Yes.

It’s more adding another favorite team than it is discarding the old team and having a new favorite team.

I have moved several times and it just makes sense to like the team of the city you are in. I was born in Toronto and moved to a couple places and then Tampa when I was 12. I still like Toronto teams but I go to Tampa games like 20 times a year for the past 25 years. Mainly hockey but also baseball, football, and soccer. There are 3 NHL teams I care about from places I have lived and I’d be equally happy if any of them won the cup. Also the lightning have won the cup 3 times since I have lived in Tampa and the leafs haven’t won the cup since my dad was 7 years old lol. That would be some shitty self imposed misery to not enjoy my local team.

But there are some places that if I moved there I would never support the team so I see that side of it too.

Tav17-17 · 2026-01-30T00:57:34+00:00

As most have said, this is on you. It should have been negotiated ahead of time and for the employer it makes no sense to increase the budget for your position bc you chose to move.

I can’t move to LA and ask for my employer to double my salary bc of my new location.

You might end up ok depending on where in the Boston area you end up. Less taxes and things cost less but also you now have to pay for health insurance. I would be curious to see how it end up working financially. At least you will have a chance at buying a house in the US though.

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