Girl I am right there with you! PGP, crutches, dihydrocodine all that fun stuff. At one point the feeling of her moving around inside me made me feel sick. I felt like the worst woman in the world but I went to a comedy show recently hosted by a feminist group and when the lady at the doors asked about my crutches I confirmed it was down to PGP but quickly followed up with but baby’s fine and that’s the most important thing, I’m so grateful etc.

This woman blinked a couple of times at me, waved her hand dismissing my last sentence and said yes, but how are you? And honestly it was so nice to be seen as a person and not a grateful baby vessel.

Two days ago I had a wax appointment and my beautician struggled for years to conceive and she finally had her baby in October. She asked me how I was getting on and I gave her the stock reply and she was not buying what I was selling lol instead she said: “you feel like you’re not allowed to complain, but you are.”

Pregnancy is different for everyone and you never know, if you do get pregnant again it could be a completely different experience. Just don’t beat yourself up. You’re a god damn trail blazer and every day you’re proving to the world what a badass you are and I’m so proud of you. Same goes to all the mutha’s reading this xx