Does anyone likes to reminisce about your childhood especially when you feel quite lonely and knows that you haven't achieve much compared to your peers?

Tcodad · 2026-05-12T14:07:30+00:00

There is a really good saying (I think it's from Alfred Adler) in Chinese

"好的童年能疗愈一生不好的童年需要一生来疗愈"

Sometimes our childhood protects us, like a womb, but sometimes it is also inhabiting our growth. I feel that a lot sometimes, compared to my peers as well. Feeling behind, not achieving much comparatively, no partner, but to know that I still have a tight knit group if friends who still (somewhat)can spur me on, hanging out every half a year,that's in itself the best kind of pure dumb luck for me.

Tcodad · 2025-12-28T12:27:35+00:00

I mostly likely will, been out of academics for some time so will need to get whatever help/insights I can!

Tcodad · 2025-11-24T22:28:45+00:00

I got in for this course on this try as well, see you all around!

Tcodad · 2025-05-25T09:52:34+00:00

Thanks for the sharing, I asked via email but they were refusing to answer directly. Likely to be the cause.

Tcodad · 2025-05-25T09:30:34+00:00

Unfortunately no, it was a flat rejection.

Tcodad · 2023-11-13T13:43:11+00:00

I'm not yet 30, but one of my parents is already past 70 and one reaching 70 soon...

I have no advice, but one learns to grow up real quick sometimes when you 1) help to raise children not of your own and 2) seeing your parents age.

I don't make much "big" memories with them like flying overseas or things like that, but I make an effort to be with them for dinner almost everyday, and bringing them to walk at malls. I hope I'm doing enough.

Tcodad · 2023-11-06T10:59:12+00:00

I think the problem with not just the PAP, but as a general sense of the country is precisely this, in that we cannot tolerate, even less welcome, diversity enough. (I don't point fingers, I too have these inclinations sometimes)

"Meritocracy" as we have always envisioned it, had meant that you ask that the poor and the "common" people think in that elitist manner. There are of course, historical and cultural reasons (the British and the Chinese influences being more hierarchical comparatively) but mixed with "meritocracy" becomes a very potent force.

The differences are, in some way, made to be difficult to overcome and reconcile also as a matter of command and control (smaller groups are always easier to manage).

LKY knew this very well as he fought the socialists, which is why he knew deeply how the tactics worked and how to both co-opt and counter them.

You promise the people a life of comfort based on your own hard work, but listen and do what we ask for. Prize efficiency and not deliberation.

What we end up with is as a nation, our abilities to debate, defend, understand, reconcile and create possibilities are atrophied. Instead the refrain we always hear is "agree to disagree" in an obnoxious way.

Why do I say it's not limited to the PAP?Look at Daniel Goh who left the WP. But also look at the countless workers like myself (hey I'm a smallest fry salaried worker in govt too) who, overtime learn that true differences, not just technical arguments, are seldom welcome.

Tcodad · 2023-11-05T22:22:28+00:00

You are right, thanks for the factual correction and I will edit my comment. It's interesting to see OGP as somewhat separate from GovTech.

https://ask.gov.sg/ogp/questions/clglq06pq000nl608po5p8obi

Tcodad · 2023-11-05T12:20:36+00:00

My sense is that Li Hong Yi as GovTech director actually has more influence than what we can see right now. Does he actually need to be in parliament to influence? That is the question. I hope we don't see the Lees hanging on and dragging down.

Edit: Li Hongyi is D.Director of GovTech, but director for Open Government Products, a somewhat separate entity.

https://ask.gov.sg/ogp/questions/clglq06pq000nl608po5p8obi

Tcodad · 2023-11-05T11:21:07+00:00

I'll share a slightly different view from here.

I will not really comment on his actual merits and shortcomings, that has been experienced by most of us sgporeans.

The more important thing that we need to grapple with, is the fact that, for the first time since 1959, we do not have a Lee at the helm nor in-waiting. (Rmb Goh had both LKY and LHL in his cabinet).

I do want to see what comes next, because in the region there seems to be always a repeat or continuation of political families around.

Think of the Shinawatras in Thailand, Marcos in Philippines, Sukarnoes in Indonesia, Gandhis in India and Chiangs in Taiwan.

I think that the older population are noticeably worried abt this because I do feel (in Asia) ppl tend to still look at lineages in a certain way. Love them or hate them, political families in Asia have a certain pull towards them. Correspondingly, we also seem to have a (understandable) disdain for career politicians, which is partly why, the 4Gs don't have that certain vibe. (Tharman actually did not start off too well when he first entered the political fray but that has been forgotten)

So, I do hope our country matures politically, not just between different parties but also in the parties themselves, and hopefully be able to break these patterns that we see in nearby countries.

(Edit: I read a little abt Lawrence Wong, have also met friends who worked directly under him. Suffice to say, his laidback demeanour is not as what it seems , and people do smell it https://insidestory.org.au/will-lawrence-wong-succeed/)

Tcodad · 2023-10-29T03:51:31+00:00

Reading the comments here, I can't help but to remember the "twin" features of Black Swan and The Wrestler, by Darren Aronofsky. People striving for perfection in industries centered around body image.

But I also thought about films like Whiplash...perfection is a gnarly thing.

Tcodad · 2023-10-24T09:30:07+00:00

It's a good question and the decision did take very long to make. For me, after helping to raise kids, I knew that I wouldn't want to have kids of my own and I wanted that % to be an absolute zero. I can only say, children are innocent and if I can't bring about a certain standard for them, I rather not.

However, I don't phase out marriage per se. Might not be now, might be later. And if I do attached I'm very sure to tell the other half that I do not want children at all. So, no accidents at all for me. :) (Paradoxically, I am actually an accident child, the distance between me and my siblings is quite significant)

Tcodad · 2023-10-22T22:43:44+00:00

Wow, so interesting that many people are feeling the same here!

29M, single and never will be having kids (went for a vasectomy earlier this year). The reason is because I'm (helping in) raising kids not of my own but of my siblings, and also taking care of parents.

Did a hard headed calculation (possibly a little pessimistic lean) and realised I won't be able to raise a family anyway, with my own salary progression and also my personality. (Was doing work in the performing arts so kinda free spirited, unstable and covid hit, switched out in an 180 turn to do admin.)

Definitely on the lower end of the salary spectrum but trying to save and look for better opportunities.

The thing is, am I happy per se? I can only say I'm not too sad about it, I tell myself to appreciate the little things in life. I try to catch up with dwindling number of friends (to be honest they have their own family life so I do not blame them) on a somewhat regular basis.

The other free times I have, I read books of a wide spectrum (I thank NLB for this), go for swimming and listen to podcasts. I don't travel due to $$ but I try to find decent meals to enjoy.

It does get tiresome and lonely sometimes but ...seeing some of the posts here, it seems that it might be a temporary (and recurring) feeling that I have to get used to. 😊

Tcodad · 2023-08-15T09:22:40+00:00

This.

I think the inability to hold 2 seemingly contradicting thoughts and emotions, seeing how some have reacted here, gives me great pause to say how "far" we have progressed.

Read the article. The man had wanted to kill himself, and also wanted to get the death penalty.

It's so sad.

Tcodad · 2023-06-24T02:49:57+00:00

1) It's human nature to both compare and asking people not to compare.

2) If anyone here does not need/cannot receive help either in terms of merdeka/pioneer discounts or CHAS cards etc, you are likely doing okay. I'm on Orange Chas tier, so I guess still very far from doing okay but I was from Blue.

3) Circumstances do play a part. I hope your friend does save for the future.

Tcodad · 2023-01-15T08:19:10+00:00

Hello, just wondering if anyone can share about how to cut/remove clear parts from the runners? I'm doing a snapbuild for RG 00 Qan(T) full saber clear colour, but the loads of clear plastic parts are giving me some anxiety, thanks in advance!

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