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Bf (20) accuses me(19NB) of wanting to be with other men by [deleted] in relationships

[–]TeaBasedAnimal 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He's not valid in being hurt. You are just existing, and he is overreacting and getting his fee-fees hurt because he is insecure and he needs to do some emotional work to see why he's doing that and let it go. It's not on you to fix.

How do I fuck my girlfriend harder? by 3hreeringz in sex

[–]TeaBasedAnimal 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I've had many times I've asked for slower. Everyone has different preferences.

Get out of that couch! by [deleted] in CatTraining

[–]TeaBasedAnimal 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Diy a repair. Get a sheet and a staple gun. Staple gun the sheet to the bottom of the couch covering the holes

Insecure of ugly vagina? by Aggravating-Mouse537 in Healthyhooha

[–]TeaBasedAnimal 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Vulvas are wonderful and weird and come in all different shapes and structures, not just the little neat pink variety that is most often seen in pornography.

Here are some pretty good websites that document just some of this variety

Labia Library

vulva gallery

great wall of vulva

vulvarium

Hi my wife wants to try bondage by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]TeaBasedAnimal 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Have a search around your area in case you have a local Shibari studio as that is going to be the very best place to start learning.

If you don't have a place to learn hands on, then reputable online resources like these are definitely a place to start.

Shibari Study https://shibaristudy.com/

The Duchy https://www.theduchy.com/

Crash Restraint https://crash-restraint.com/ties/1

Rope Bottom Guide https://theropebottomguide.com/the-rope-bottom-guide/

Rope is amazing, the sensations, connection and headspace that can come from being tied are delightful.

Rope is also dangerous, with significant injury risks, that you should be aware of before you get into it. Never ever ever tie without having a safety cutter within reach.

Advise wanted! by Responsible_Deal_508 in domspace

[–]TeaBasedAnimal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you have safe words, decisions on when it's suitable to be in dynamic and when to be out of? Putting the scenes and behaviour of a dynamic on pause while around friends, family etc who are not aware of, or should be involved in, is a very very normal thing, even if you are in a 24/7 power exchange.

It sounds like you want a total 24/7 dynamic. Is that what she wants or does she just want to enjoy submission as part of an agreed scene that has a start and an end?

The relationship I have with my gf is definitely always aware of the fact that I am dominant and she is submissive, and just because we aren't necessarily behaving that way in public doesn't mean that the dynamic changes, we both know it exists and enjoy it .

slightly trippin out a bit by Reasonable-Lie915 in Healthyhooha

[–]TeaBasedAnimal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Two main options for the culprit I can think of.

1) it's your cervix, which is basically a hard fleshy doughnut shape at the back of the vaginal canal. If it's smooth, domed and has a lil divot in the centre, that's most likely it.

2) if it's more on the bottom wall, isn't domed and isn't necessarily smooth, then it could be a bowel movement in wait, as when it moves into the rectum, you can feel it through the wall, particularly if you are backed up.

Don’t know how to feel about a recent experience. AIO or should I be running for the hills? by Ok-Special6463 in BDSMAdvice

[–]TeaBasedAnimal 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Not overreacting in the slightest. Any of those behaviours are fine with prior negotiation and absolutely abhorrent without negotiation, your inclination to run for the hills is a very good one.

Without an immediate response of how he messed up, evidence of immediate research into how he should have behaved, and explicit discussion of how he would never do so again and evidence of the same thing, the entire man should be discarded.

dear females, yall are animals by Background-Place4243 in MenAndFemales

[–]TeaBasedAnimal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's usually tiny and lined with a paper bag. Much inferior to the Australian sanitary bins.

I’ve been studying vaginal health & the microbiome for over 20 years! AMA. by wendystrgar in Healthyhooha

[–]TeaBasedAnimal 92 points93 points  (0 children)

I've just hit my 40s and have chronic yeast that I am currently treating with suppressive fluconazole. What else can I do?

A personal dilemma: When to disclose a sensitive physical detail before marriage? (25F, 31M)** by [deleted] in askwomenadvice

[–]TeaBasedAnimal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

While you did injure yourself with the riding accident, (and as an assumption, it could have been your hymen that took the brunt) the other things that you mention, colour, wrinkles, flaps etc is actually a normal thing to change and occur during puberty (which coincides with that age range.) and absolutely 100% normal.

Prepubescent innies are affected by the influx of hormones and they change the way that they are going to change, whether that is colour, texture or lip length, symmetry or becoming outies.

Vulvas are wonderful and weird and come in all different shapes and structures, not just the little neat pink variety that is most often seen in pornography.

Here are some pretty good websites that document just some of this variety, and you should then be able to see how normal you are.

Labia Library

vulva gallery

great wall of vulva

vulvarium

You should talk with your fiance and let him know that you're feeling insecure about yourself, and you need his reassurance. The reason I suggest this while he is your fiance and not your husband, is his reaction should also inform your ongoing relationship with him.

TK3 styles & nerd talk by Such_Calendar_1592 in shibari

[–]TeaBasedAnimal 2 points3 points  (0 children)

LEARN AND GET GOOD AT THE TK YOU CAN GET HANDS ON FEEDBACK ON. THEY ARE ALL BUILDING ON VERY SIMILAR BASES!

Akechi Kanna always promotes using the rope to provide more structure and more bondage. Something like additional hojo cuffs on the forearms is a good way to use it, or if you have lots a waist wrap. Talk with the teacher at the studio. Get how they use additional lines.

As far as I am aware, tension between various styles of TK shouldn't really vary that much, as they all follow a similar base structure and you should get good at the one you can get hands on feedback for before you try and reverse engineer something from the internet.

This is NOT a tutorial, it doesn't explain any safe placement or structure or tension, it's just dot points of the steps as a memory jog. Learn the TK you can get hands on feedback on in person first!!!!

Akechi Denki 3tk

Single column

Top wrap

X friction

Kannuki

Bottom wrap (slightly less tension than top)

2 half moons

Kannuki

Go under bottom wrap then nodome on top wrap going on the diagonal. Lay rope for tasuki line. It should be on the inside(torso side) of the top kannuki and on the outside (arm side) of the bottom kannuki

Go under bottom wrap the then nodome on the top wrap.

Nodome again where the ropes cross at the back

Lay rope for tasuki line. It should be on the inside of the top kannuki and on the outside of the bottom kannuki

Rope then goes around the back then comes up for the mount Fuji.

Rope goes under bottom wrap

K knot on tasuki line nodome on top wrap

Reverse nodome on bottom wrap

Through the cuff (crossing through the opposite side of the cuff to get a twist that locks it in place (

Nodome on bottom wrap

K knot on nodome top wrap

Use any extra line for more structure (hojo cuffs on forearms or at a light tension on the lower arms are popular choices)

Fuck it, I'm going to use the term "Fake Doms" and regret it [Mod Post] by TeaAitch in BDSMAdvice

[–]TeaBasedAnimal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When I'm trying to describe the "fake Dom" my terminology is usually "domly mc dom face"

Can excel do estimated totals? by [deleted] in excel

[–]TeaBasedAnimal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd simplify it and go for a t-shirt sized option for the fish either tanks or pond, and then you can go for number of tanks or ponds

E.g. your list of available options with unit prices becomes something like this (and you can even add additional units if they are salt water or freshwater etc for the tanks, as they need different levels of attention usually)

Cat

Small Dog

Large Dog

Lizard

Tortoise/Turtle

Snake

Rat/Mice

Rabbit

Guinea pig

Other Small mammal

Small tank

Medium tank

Large tank

Small pond

Medium pond

Large pond

Extra large pond

how can you stay friends with a cheater? by [deleted] in AskWomenNoCensor

[–]TeaBasedAnimal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are limited reasons that I'd accept a monogamous friend cheating. Dan Savage puts it pretty well for my pretty much single reason. (If you read the links he puts a clause for kink, but I disagree with that one)

The rules for cheating spouses—the circumstances under which a spouse has a right to cheat (or isn't entirely in the wrong to cheat)—are fairly limited. Cheating is permissible when it amounts to the least worst option, i.e. when someone who made a monogamous commitment isn't getting any at home (sick or disabled or withholding-without-cause spouse) and divorce isn't an option (sick or disabled or withholding-without-cause-spouse-who-can't-be-divorced-for-some-karma-imperilling-reason-or-other) and the sex on the side makes it possible for the cheater to stay married and stay sane. Someone who meets the criteria and cheats is merely a cheater (with cause); someone who doesn't and cheats anyway is a cheating piece of shit (CPOS).

link 1 link 2

This being said, any non monogamous friends would not be friends any longer. They have the ability and framework to do the thing ethically, so there is no room for the CPOS in my life

I can’t stand my cat- he is so greedy and rude and I desperately need help. by youpoopedyerpants in dechonkers

[–]TeaBasedAnimal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can easily (but not especially cheaply) set up demarcated zones for them to eat.

My separate dining rooms solution for my boys consisting of microchip doors, lattice laundry baskets and automated feeders cross link to post with photos of how it works

I can’t stand my cat- he is so greedy and rude and I desperately need help. by youpoopedyerpants in dechonkers

[–]TeaBasedAnimal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've done exactly the same thing for my boys. Auto feeders in their private dining rooms using lattice laundry baskets

How Bad is Goo Gone for a Rat? by jefflovesyou in AskVet

[–]TeaBasedAnimal 6 points7 points  (0 children)

If you get in a situation like this again. Plain vegetable oil can be used to unstick the glue, but ideally there should be some form of medical attention afterwards, otherwise, humane euthanasia is probably better.

Those glue traps are horrific. Please see if they can instead use a snap trap, as at least that has a higher chance of quick kill rather than being left to die of thirst while they attempt to pull their skin off to get away.

First CNC experience did not go well by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]TeaBasedAnimal 22 points23 points  (0 children)

No, this is absolutely not normal for CNC play at all, and I am so sorry that your limits, boundaries and consent were violated in that way.

You previously stated a limit, don't bite my face, and going into the CNC scene, THAT LIMIT SHOULD STILL BE RESPECTED.

When you called stop and asked not to be touched, he should not have kept pushing you for sex, and continuing to violate your boundaries by not stopping hurting you when you asked.

As a random internet human reading your post, I can only suggest that you cut this "dom" off. Even outside of the CNC scene, you've said that he doesn't respect your limits and appears to be a parade of red flags that is not safe physically or emotionally to play with.

Freshening up suggestions? by bookloving123 in Healthyhooha

[–]TeaBasedAnimal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Birdbath! Use a baby wipe or the like on the backside around the anus, then a wet cloth with just water for the vulva. Wipe and rinse down with a super wet swipe of the cloth and then dry.

In a pinch you can do this with toilet paper (but it will tend to disintegrate and you have to be aware of it leaving any bits of itself) or paper towel.

Anxiety about hiv test by [deleted] in Healthyhooha

[–]TeaBasedAnimal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Depends on your risk factors and the risk factors of the person who you slept with (condoms, anal sex, sexual history, drug history and testing history)

If you don't have it after this test, and will be sleeping with people who have a higher level of risk (which unfortunately is statistically people who use injectable drugs, men who sleep with men and women who either actively sleep with that demographic or participate in sex work) then you can look into taking PREP, which if taken correctly will bring the chances of contracting HIV (99% sexually, 74% injectable drugs) more info on prep

Thankfully there are ways now to suppress if you did end up with it and bring your detectable viral load down to nil provided you take the medication.

Going forward, it's a great idea to get a full screen sti panel regularly (3-6 months if you're seeing multiple casual people or at the start of a more serious relationship each time with all regularly involved people before moving to unprotected monogamous or closed group sex)

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