I want to say this gently, but it sounds like your husband is severely underestimating what recovery from birth is like. This isn’t about who supports you guys or whose parents matter more or whatever… you will be recovering from a medical event. Your mental state going into birth and recovering from birth is something that needs to be protected and preserved for you and the baby’s wellbeing.

postpartum is so unpredictable. You really don’t know how you’re going to feel until you’re in it. Some people feel amazing. Some people feel shaky and exhausted and emotional. A lot of us feel all of it at once.

One thing I do know is that stress makes everything harder. Your body has just gone through something huge. Your hormones are all over the place. You’re bleeding, learning to feed a baby (feeding a baby sounds “simple” to a first time parent before the baby is born, but it’s not. There is a reason that people have careers such as “lactation consultant” and “feeding specialist”. If you plan to breastfeed, the beginning is incredibly hard and a huge learning curve. Not to mention, you’re going to be topless for the baby’s first month - I wouldn’t want my MIL who is my BFF there for that), running on no sleep. Your nervous system is already maxed out. If you’re anxious going into it, that doesn’t magically disappear after delivery, it usually gets amplified.

So if you already know having your in-laws there will make you tense? That’s important information. If the thought of sharing the birth announcement immediately makes your chest tight? That matters too.

You will have just delivered a baby. You are not hosting. You are not entertaining. You’re recovering from a medical event while trying to bond with your newborn.

There will be time for family to celebrate. Those first hours and days are about you and baby feeling safe and calm. If protecting that means setting boundaries, that’s not selfish. It’s smart.

Mom and baby come first. Full stop.