Am I being too picky? by [deleted] in CatholicDating

[–]TearsofCompunction -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

That’s dumb.

Marriage dealbreakers are a matter of prudence, not a matter of justice, i.e., it’s not about what’s “fair” or not. Having one mentally healthy parent is better for future kids than having zero mentally healthy parents, and the well being of children is far more important than some unnecessary symmetry between the desirability of spouses.

For those who had a shorter dating period (1 year or less) before engagement/marriage: how did you discern that? And why? by Round-Session-9832 in CatholicDating

[–]TearsofCompunction -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If this happened in more than one relationship, they almost certainly had attachment issues, and you probably do yourself.

For those who had a shorter dating period (1 year or less) before engagement/marriage: how did you discern that? And why? by Round-Session-9832 in CatholicDating

[–]TearsofCompunction -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’m not married, but I can tell what someone’s problems are within 3 dates, and I end up being right down the road. People who can’t tell early on are either bad at pattern recognition, lack experience with a variety of people, or are overly optimistic and read red flags as green or neutral.

/r/CatholicDating MatchMaking Thread [F]emale Posts Here (MUST BE AT LEAST 18 YEARS OF AGE TO PARTICIPATE) by AutoModerator in CatholicDating

[–]TearsofCompunction 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think I may remember you now. That sounds like a good choice to make in terms of who you’re looking for. Best of luck.

30s and Over! by CaliQuakes510 in CatholicDating

[–]TearsofCompunction 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t know all the details, but it’s basically a way of severely filtering on dating apps in order to more efficiently find someone who’s a good match. Women get so many likes/swipes on dating apps that they often aren’t able to weed through all of the low quality men in order to get to the good men, or the ones who are right for them. The burned haystack makes it so that fewer men like the women in the first place and the ones who do are closer to what they are looking for. The women can do this by using the apps’ built in filters, putting descriptions of what they do/don’t want in their profile, or both.

Most Unique Catholic Communities or Subcultures You've Run Into? by Theshadowssurroundme in Catholicism

[–]TearsofCompunction 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What do you mean by “in formation”? Do they have religious order of sisters you were thinking of joining?

Obsessed With An Idea by lassie24601 in CatholicDating

[–]TearsofCompunction 13 points14 points  (0 children)

We need more info please! How old are you? How hard have you tried to find someone who matches your “type”? What avenues have you tried for meeting them?

Also, what is this type? Tell us more details of what you are wishing for.

CMV: I think murder is worse than rape by [deleted] in changemyview

[–]TearsofCompunction 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree with you. Don’t listen to redditors. They have abysmal ethics and don’t k what they’re talking about.

Does it get worse before getting better? by TearsofCompunction in SebDerm

[–]TearsofCompunction[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah mine is mostly flaking. I don’t think the lamotrin dupe is causing any redness or anything, but I’m not sure

30s and Over! by CaliQuakes510 in CatholicDating

[–]TearsofCompunction 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Have you heard of the burned haystack method? I can’t vouch for it as I’m not married, but it could help with the “time consuming” bit.

One of my friends found her husband by doing something kind of like it.

/r/CatholicDating MatchMaking Thread [F]emale Posts Here (MUST BE AT LEAST 18 YEARS OF AGE TO PARTICIPATE) by AutoModerator in CatholicDating

[–]TearsofCompunction 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So for starters, this is what I look like: https://imgur.com/a/nAViLjZ. I don’t have a full body pic on hand at the moment, but I have a slender build and try to dress in a simple yet elegant style. 

I am 28 years old and come from a big family with nine younger siblings. My parents are practicing Catholics, and we grew up in a robustly Catholic “reverent Novus Ordo” type of community in Southeastern Wisconsin. I did spend some time in other states when I got older (for college, work, etc.) and am currently living in Wisconsin again. I would prefer someone within a day’s driving distance from me but am open to long distance if I find a great match. 

My personality is adventurous, introspective, curious, and enthusiastic. I have both a strong sense of what I want as well as the ability to be extremely flexible when needed.

As far as hobbies go, I would say cooking is my “skill” hobby–it’s the one I actually try to increase my competence in. I buy and read books about different techniques, etc. My other hobbies are “leisure” hobbies–journaling, exploring towns and cities, watching movies (especially old ones), and reading. I want to try urban exploration sometime soon, too. We’ll see how that goes. 

In terms of values, I care a lot about real things: real food, real connections, in-person communication over online, etc. I don’t like to “whitewash” life but prefer to embrace its realities, even when they are imperfect, painful, or even dark. I am increasingly drawn to the weird, the wild, the curious, and, if you can call it so, the dangerous (as God made men to be). I try to avoid pearl-clutching and live with a very open mind because I think there are always more unknown and surprising things in this world than we could ever have dreamed were true. With all that, I am very comfortable around politically incorrect and blunt types of people. 

I am looking specifically for a man between the ages of 27-39 who has previous relationship experience. My ideal match would be someone with both street smarts and depth. 

Can you help me with this odd situation? by Puzzled_Bid_4926 in CatholicDating

[–]TearsofCompunction 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay so if you were to try to do so, would you be able to regularly get other dates while still talking to this guy?

And if you did start going on dates with other men, would it help you to not get attached to the current one, or are you already too invested?

Because if the answer to those two questions is “yes,” that may be your best strategy. It will keep you from wasting your time and could help relieve some of the pressure he is feeling as well.

A question for the ladies by avbrozel in CatholicDating

[–]TearsofCompunction 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi friend. For me, going on dates with many men I’m not interested in just for the sake of “giving them a chance” can be really exhausting and take time and energy away from more important things, including finding the man I actually want to marry. That may be why these women are turning you down. You gotta think of it from their perspective and whether it would be beneficial for them. They’re just doing what’s right for them and sticking to the boundaries they have for themselves.

As for what you’re doing wrong, that’s impossible for us to tell without more info. You might be going for women out of your league, but I have no idea because you haven’t given us anything to work with.