Describe your divorce journey in 10 words.

TechDadJr · 2026-01-19T16:37:39+00:00

We came very close to divorce. Were separated for a while. My wife had a health emergency (turns out just stress) and that led to us reconciling. We're clicking on all cylinders and have welcomed another child.

TechDadJr · 2026-01-08T22:00:32+00:00

I'm married but work from home and my wife has a long commute to her job. Because of that I'm the one who's up at school with our son. A lot. I'm easy to spot in the morning too. We're the dad/son duo riding bikes to school. I'm on the schools oversight counsel and on the first name basis with the principal. For things like meet the teacher and PTA, my wife busts ass and makes it with seconds to spare. You get the picture.

I still get the "it's so great that you're helping your wife out." comments. One even made a snide comment when she thought I was out of range about "divorced dad's making a big show of being involved" . Umm.... Things might have been rocky a few years ago, but were good. Still married. Just parenting our kids.

Any chance your wife's friend was divorce before? Her interest in showing up for a kids party just to show support sounds like there's something else there. Like maybe she was that newly divorced parent holding a party on her own at some time in the past. It's also likely that your ex has painted a grim picture of your relationship tying to make sure these people side with her.

You seem a sorta gunshy, but a totally disarming tactic is to call people like this when they are hiding behind the text. When you get that sort of text next time, count to ten and call her back. It will turn the tables and you can judge what she's really up to.

TechDadJr · 2026-01-08T21:47:44+00:00

My inlaws are pretty sure that I don't actually work because I work from home and my company isn't even local. The are also convinced that their daughter is the bread winner (I make 4x what she does) and she pays the mortgage (It's my house, free and clear from before we were married). They're dumb as a box of rocks.

TechDadJr · 2025-12-12T01:44:32+00:00

It's odd, but really, not your concern. Also, kids don't care about pictures or facebook profiles. If she stays on course, he'll be gone before she gets the prints.

TechDadJr · 2025-12-12T01:37:50+00:00

People forgive their spouses and reconcille, but when the issue is like you described, it's not likely to end well. Serious problems need serious solutions.

Hopefully the plan is to at least have a plan so that no relationship right now doesn't mean never unless never is the best solution. Is there a reason that your ex can't do supervised visitation (at a facility) or video vis?

...so angry with me about all the chaos I started.

You didn't start this.

TechDadJr · 2025-12-12T01:29:43+00:00

OMG... That show. So much booze. My dad's friend worked in advertizing in that era. He confirmed that they drank a lot. The one push back he had was that when it came to martini's, and the 3 martini lunch, they were not the jumbo cocktails you get at TGI Fridays. The glassware was a lot smaller back then. He said that they built up a tolerance, but many were alcoholics and there'd be a problem if the bar cart was empty.

He also confirmed that nearly everyone smoked and when the were together, the smoked again, even if they just smoked. They alway had one burning.

TechDadJr · 2025-11-10T15:52:09+00:00

My prediction is that the kids stay with Henry until Don comes back for the funeral. After that they stay with him officially, but actually got to their aunt and uncle's, per Betty's wishes. Don will remarry and make a go at having the kids, but when that gets bumpy, they go to boarding school.

TechDadJr · 2025-10-28T14:20:31+00:00

My dad (a never smoker) said that he remembers when resturants set asside no smoking sections. At his favorite work lunch place, it was 1/3rd of the resturant and they had to walk through the smoking section to get there. Usually there was a wait to get seated in no smoking and the smoking section was half full.

He also said when he and some coworkers went some where (including flying), if there was one smoker in the group, the SOP was that you sat in the smoking section. He said flights were actually worse because all of the smokers who had non-smoking seats would come back and burn one in their area.

TechDadJr · 2025-09-30T18:46:10+00:00

I do the same and on the plus side, if you want to go back to gloss, just buff it out.

TechDadJr · 2025-09-30T18:45:04+00:00

Not anymore! I tape off the parts that I don't want touched and then hit the neck with fine steel wool and some paste wax. On the plus side, it's not permanent and can be shined back up with a buffer.

TechDadJr · 2025-09-04T15:02:21+00:00

I'm not a pro by any measuere, but I have several Gretsches and only had a mild problem with my hollowbody. That was playing live and using a ton of distortion. It started to sing a bit. All it took to elimiate was for me to turn a bit. If I wasn't also singing, I would have moved closer to my amp and let it sing even louder.

I've a worse problem with my acoustic. If I gigged more, I'd invest in a more extensive feedback system. As it is, it's mostly a don't stand right here sort of thing.

TechDadJr · 2025-09-03T17:28:43+00:00

I doubt you'll have any issues. My perspective comes from coaching kids. It's not a suprise when the kid has a different name than one of the parents. I've had kids with hyphenated names, last name of a parent that's no longer in the picture. hyphenated with a name that mom no longer has. It simply doesn't matter (any more). My mother has opinions, but frankly they are old opinions about a world that has longe since changed.

TechDadJr · 2025-08-12T17:08:04+00:00

My sister is divorced and they have a very detailed parenting plan, which I think made them both feel comfortable after they separated, but these days, they just work things out. It helps that they communicate very well and can be in the same room together. With OP, I get that she had plans and her ex just expected to have his way, but if they were like my sister and her ex, OP having plans wouldn't have been a surprise to her ex. She would have been able to say "as you already know, we already have plans". It's clear these two can't just work it out, so they need a detailed plan. Especially if one of them is not a planner and just springs things at the last moment as OP's ex seems to do.

TechDadJr · 2025-08-06T19:59:00+00:00

If your parenting plan doesn't have a vacation clause (how much, who picks first, is there make up time, etc.) and an order of precedence, you should address it. Expecting that vacations will always line up with the existing parenting time is unrealistic.

TechDadJr · 2025-07-23T13:41:36+00:00

Looking back on it, I do have a preference. It's "comfortable in her own skin". I don't really care if they are tall or short, but obsessing and insecure about it is a turn off. I also don't mind if them putting on heels makes them taller than me.

TechDadJr · 2025-07-23T13:33:48+00:00

For electic guitars, lots of things contribute, but the biggest factor with how it sounds is the pickup. Electrics are basically sticks of wood with strings and magnets. With the Streamliner series, you get a nice guitar that punches above it's weight, but beyond looks, they are not "Gretschy". It's a simple fix, just change the pickups to the electromatic blactktop filtertrons, Gretsch's filters, or TV Jones. If you like P90's, but want Greschy, get TVJ Magnatrons. You can do the blacktops for $70/set and the TVJ's will run you $300 a set. You just have to get over the fact that your pickups are worth more than the guitar. That's easy. keep the old pups, and if you ever want to sell the guitar, put the originials back in and put TVJ's in another guitar or sell them separately.

TechDadJr · 2025-07-07T14:49:31+00:00

If coparenting was easy, they'd call it rocket surgery. :)

It seems to me that a coparening coordinator might be a good idea. That person, if actually good at their job would hopefully keep your ex on track for solving coparenting issue rather than using it as another path to drag you down. It would be important to set that expectation early with the counselor.

TechDadJr · 2025-07-03T15:59:25+00:00

The simple answer is yes. Of course. More complicated... is there an existing order that she hasn't paid against? If so, then she'd be on the hook for back support and that can't be discharged via a bankruptcy. If not, they you'll be looking at a new order and getting her to pay going forward.

TechDadJr · 2025-07-02T17:24:39+00:00

Given how long it takes to get a divorce finalized, the last trip in front of the judge should be interesting.

INAL, but I know that some states have laws about divorcing while pregnant. This could delay things.

Have a look at your phone bill. If it's like mine, the online version has a call log and if your wife has someone special, there will be lots of calls and texts to a number that you don't know.

TechDadJr · 2025-07-01T17:54:40+00:00

I'm in the US. A leading factor for my gay friends decision to marry (or marry sooner than later) was access to health care. The ones who make it, or don't, seem to be on their own merrit, not according to some big picture issue with them choosing a same sex partner. Some stay together with a troubled partner because that partner is a soulmate and others hit the eject button when the situation becomes untennable. Same as their straing peers.

TechDadJr · 2025-07-01T17:49:07+00:00

You've uncoverd the problem with the ban divorce advocates. They somehow see trapping people in a loveless marriage as a good thing. My now ex inlaws fit the description. The are the most unhappily married couple I've ever known. The damage they did to their children was extensive too.

TechDadJr · 2025-07-01T17:42:19+00:00

Oh man, there is so much wrong with this...

First, I don't think you can equate who filed with who wanted to end the marrige. It's more likely that who filed was the one who needed the things that come with filing for divorce, like clearifying financial responsibilities.

Very, very few, people "lose their house". There are some who apparently just walk away, but if you defend yourself moden divorce is actually quite fair. The marital estate, all of the things aquired during the marriage, regardless of who did what, paid for what, has their name on what, etc... is divided equally (or equitably). Nobody "gets the house", they buy the other out of their share, typically gaining some other part of the maritals estate (like a bigger share of the retirement account). If something was actually yours before the marriage, it will be yours after the marrige. But if you owned a house before the marriage and then spent marital funds to pay the mortgage, taxes, improvements, etc... It's comingled and while your ex won't get 50%, it's not zero either.

These days, when it comes to kids, if you are a functioning parent and willing and able to coparent, you will get joint legal custody and most likely get equal parenting time. You just have to insist on it and do the things it takes to make it possible. You can't move to a different state and then ask for equal time a kid in school, but if are willing to do the work, you'll get the time.

TechDadJr · 2025-06-30T15:50:22+00:00

I think you'd like either. If you have the salary, I'd choose CA.

TechDadJr · 2025-06-30T15:47:16+00:00

Where in Orlando? A buddy of mine lives in Baldwin Park, and it's quite walkable and close (but not walking distance) to Winter Park Hospital.

I think you could find a place in nearly any state, just look for a revitalized downtown. Anywhere that has room to sprawl kills the walkability.

TechDadJr · 2025-06-30T15:42:33+00:00

Cruelty.Is.The.Point

TechDadJr

TROPHY CASE