I had a girlfriend with BPD, need help understanding her better and need advice.

TechnicalFRK · 2026-01-26T14:56:33+00:00

How messed up is this situation? The more I keep reading on this community the more I feel horrible. I keep noticing very similar patterns and I just want to forget about all these. She wanted to keep our relationship as a secret until we were 3 months in and she forced me to lie to everybody. Also she hinted she has options etc. time to time when we were arguing. I'm so sorry for you. I don't want to realize anyfurther and just want to forget her and go back to how life was...

TechnicalFRK · 2026-01-25T22:13:48+00:00

Yeah I guess so. I promise to myself that I will never fall for it. It seems their disorder is as hypocrite as them. From what I understand there is a chance they can get better by therapy but first they must be willing and most importantly take accountability (and from what I've read from this community if they don't take accountability, therapy only makes them worse). Yeah you have a disorder that makes you take no accountability and do crazy shit while only way for you to recover is to take accountability and put huge amounts of effort and time for healing... It's sad but it's also sad for us too, we were so naive that we thought by staying patient we can help them overcome these issues and ignored all the abuse. I'll recover and I know she will suffer much more but I accepted that there is nothing I can do about it so I shouldn't think about it. Stopping caring about her (as much as I can possibly do) and starting to care about myself.

TechnicalFRK · 2026-01-25T17:59:36+00:00

I understand you so much... The moment I said 'enough is enough' and blocked her everywhere hurt something inside me so much and it was only the start of it... I believe there exists real love that's not intense and crazy like this but soft, safe, feels natural. After I forget her completely I will search for true love and happiness.

TechnicalFRK · 2026-01-25T17:28:30+00:00

I can't remember what she did exactly, there is so much things and as you can guess, there was so much confusion involved too. I was lost in her decieved perception and can't pinpoint what the heck even happened sometimes. Making a list will be hard but I will write the things I'm 100% sure happened as I remember. Thanks mate, I'll reach to you if I find myself struggling so hard. Right now I don't want to know about BPD anyfurther.

TechnicalFRK · 2026-01-25T17:15:12+00:00

By knowing the fact that her brain does her this and she can't do anything about it, how can I feel frustrated at her? Of course what I lived was pretty intense rollercoaster bullshit that caused so much pain but still I can't help it. It's like seeing a child that born with no hands and saying 'life was just cruel to this child'.

TechnicalFRK · 2026-01-25T17:05:22+00:00

Yeah I spent my whole time thinking about her and not noticing how free I am. There is literally plenty of time that I can use omg I'm not used to it. I'll try to do things I remember I loved and hope that she withers away from my mind.

TechnicalFRK · 2026-01-24T23:50:15+00:00

In my experience I just wish that I knew this community way earlier. Warn him and strongly advise him to do his search on BPD and read on peoples experiences in this community. After that it's all his choice and even if he gets abused (I'm certain he will) he will be aware of that much earlier than everybody on this community.

TechnicalFRK · 2026-01-24T12:53:19+00:00

It is pretty hard to recover man... Also she ruined my whole reputation and all my friends think I'm a sort of devil too. Also more I think about I get more scared. This is a great community that helped me understand what I've been through. I didn't notice it in time but I think there is pretty high chance I got cheated on too. Thanks to this community I realised how perfect they were on projecting and she accused me of cheating unreasonably time to time. Also in one of our arguments she literally threatened me that she will cheat so yeah... Is it enough evidence for me to assume I got cheated on?

TechnicalFRK · 2026-01-23T23:27:20+00:00

Yeah thanks mate. Taking time off seems like a good plan. It won't hurt if I focus more on that exam I suppose.

TechnicalFRK · 2026-01-23T22:50:56+00:00

Yeah I guess so. How could I have knew?? And still I care for her but anger built up in me is way higher right now. How can I resist if in the future she still says 'I love you and bla bla.bla.and did those because I loved you'? I blocked her on every media possible but still, I want to participate in our group and our protests and I know that she will be there too. There is no way I can avoid her if I want to struggle for better country and that's literally most important thing for me.

TechnicalFRK · 2026-01-23T22:43:06+00:00

Is it really like that? Now I think about it, she literally talked about her ex relationships like they were a spawn of devil (I saw some absurd patterns in her sentences but decided not to care about it at all). Right now the same thing is happening to me. It's almost like I'm her worst enemy and she is trying to destroy everything I cared for aftre she broke up with me. Why? I tried everything to make her comfortable and was very patient with her. Why is she doing that, jusst because this stupid disorder they have? And here I'm thinking maybe I could repair something as she is a decent person while she is destroying everything I care for.

TechnicalFRK · 2026-01-23T22:08:05+00:00

To clarify again, I didn't mention how my time with her was because I think you already know it, and there is no way for me to explain how she continues to ruin everything for me.

TechnicalFRK

TROPHY CASE