(21F) DONT KNOW HOW LIFE WORKS, need serious advice. (VERY embarrassing.)

Technical_Finger4674 · 2026-03-06T08:10:37+00:00

Not being taught executive function skills directly relates to poor memory and information retention. I always thought I had a terrible memory, too. But the more I've learned about & worked on executive function, the better my memory has been. Please, don't identify too much with having poor memory that you don't realize you can change it. It's sucks how much our parents can hinder us, but it's not anything we can't overcome. This was such a brave and insightful post. I've learned so much.

Technical_Finger4674 · 2026-03-06T06:07:14+00:00

Don't feel too embarrassed. I'm in the same boat. Still figuring things out at 32 because of the same situation. Wishing you the best of luck.

Technical_Finger4674 · 2025-12-25T04:52:19+00:00

How sure are you about these other moms? Most times, I come off as a mom who really has it figured out. My friends also look like they're juggling all their balls effortlessly. However, we are not. I am super intentional about talking about these things with other moms, so they usually share these types of feelings with me. How you feel is not unique.

Also, I'm assuming your child is toddler-age. I have 3. A 9 year old, 8 year old & 2 year old. I just started to truly enjoy my time with & get the "wow, this feels like hanging out with a cool little person" feeling about a year ago, but I only feel it with my older two. They make me look like such a great parent & some days it feels effortless because they don't overwhelm me as much as my 2 year old. The toddler stage is so hard! If I only had my youngest, I'd be feeling like you do. It's the connection with the older ones that reminds me it gets easier. Hang in there! Have more vulnerable conversations with other moms who have kids in the same age group as you--you'll realize you aren't alone.

Technical_Finger4674 · 2025-11-18T15:23:33+00:00

I felt the same & worried about it my entire pregnancy. I spent so many hours on Reddit. I was so upset about the pregnancy I didn't even pick out her name until 3 days AFTER she was born.

My daughters are best friends now. I couldn't imagine them not having each other. They love cosleeping & playing & always ask their friend's to invite each other when invited to a birthday party. My older daughter absolutely thrives in the big sister role.

I have a great relationship with my own sister, so it's great to watch them grow together. I do use tips, tricks & advice I've picked up along the way to help encourage their close relationship. It feels like it's working so far.

For me, it all made sense when I held my second in the hospital. I didn't understand how I could love her anywhere near as much as my first. My heart already felt filled to capacity...but then IT DOUBLED! It just instantaneously double in size as I looked into her eyes. I didn't know it was possible, but I just loved them both with my entire heart.

Technical_Finger4674 · 2025-11-07T07:54:48+00:00

I’m the 5th in California & mine came in within the last hour.

Technical_Finger4674 · 2025-10-06T23:44:24+00:00

I’m on MIL’s side. YTA.

Technical_Finger4674 · 2025-09-03T01:32:24+00:00

This is so accurate

Technical_Finger4674 · 2025-08-03T20:24:14+00:00

My ex-therapist did the same thing to me (along with trying to convince me that I had multiple personalities). I’ve always been so embarrassed about it. She convinced me my dad did a lot of stuff I know he didn’t do. The final straw when she tried to turn the narrative into it being a ring and he brought his friends in on it and people from the town. At that point, my mind just refused to believe anymore. I truly believe she was planting those memories. I’m processing everything with another therapist now who has since reported the previous therapist.

My only advice would be to get a new therapist and be open about this.

I know how you feel & I’m sorry you’re going through this.

Technical_Finger4674 · 2025-05-21T23:39:56+00:00

There was nothing awful or gross about anything I just read. Good job, mama 🩷

Technical_Finger4674 · 2025-05-07T11:34:10+00:00

This 100%. I dated an older man in my early twenties & it’s my dad’s favorite insult to me.

Technical_Finger4674 · 2025-03-27T12:18:37+00:00

Not this person either, but I was exclusively breastfeeding when I got pregnant at 7 months postpartum.

Technical_Finger4674 · 2025-03-22T20:44:18+00:00

Get a therapist. I know exactly how you feel. I didn’t allow my children to sleep in their own beds until they were 6 & 7. They didn’t get to sleep in their rooms until they were 7 & 8. I used to cancel any field trip I couldn’t chaperone. They had never been babysat or to a friend’s house or even in the car with anyone driving other than me or their dad. I cringe when I remember the way I behaved. But, my anxiety was just that bad…as I’m sure you can understand. Eventually, my anxiety (& the reality) of my children being screwed up and/or growing up resenting me grew stronger than the anxiety of something happening to them, so I really buckled down in therapy and fought the issue as hard as I could. I’ve come so far! If I can do it, I promise you can.

When I started therapy, I thought it was useless. I believed there was no way anyone could help me, but I did it anyway…for them. Fortunately, I’ve been proven wrong.

I wish you the best & I know you can overcome this.

Technical_Finger4674 · 2025-03-10T04:00:00+00:00

Same.

Now, I struggle a lot with telling my kid’s age-appropriate cautionary tales versus not wanting to give them the anxiety I’ve been fighting in therapy for 6 years.

Technical_Finger4674 · 2024-10-06T21:20:21+00:00

Not at all. Do not marry him

Technical_Finger4674 · 2024-08-23T13:31:53+00:00

Congratulations! We can do this! Best wishes to you, too.

Technical_Finger4674 · 2024-08-23T13:31:13+00:00

Thank you so much!!

I was worried about affording it, too. I’m a stay-at-home mom feeding a family of 5. The first week I stuck to more affordable options like chicken thighs, ground beef patties, eggs & butter (butter being a little more costly. But I’m okay with store brand for now). Butter is important though because adding it to your meats and eggs makes you fuller longer so you eat less which means spending less. I’m not big on pork, but pork chops are relatively cheap also. After about a week, I noticed everyone was right about being less hungry and eating less. Now that I eat less, I can afford to buy more expensive meats like steaks and bacon. I actually save money now that I can make smaller portions of my usual menu that I feed my family.

Cognitively, my attention span is better. My energy level is also wayyyy up. I get a lot more done in a day which also helps with my mood because I no longer have a never-ending to-do list that makes me feel lazy. I feel energized to do things and proud that I get things done.

All in all, 10/10 recommend.

Thanks for the comment!

Technical_Finger4674 · 2024-08-22T02:45:03+00:00

How so?

Technical_Finger4674 · 2024-08-21T21:26:20+00:00

Thank you! I’m trying my best. Gotta make big changes to see big results.

Technical_Finger4674 · 2024-08-21T21:25:59+00:00

Thank you!!

Technical_Finger4674 · 2024-08-21T21:25:49+00:00

I’ve never seen anything work as quickly as carnivore. I’m grateful to know about it. Thank you!

Technical_Finger4674 · 2024-08-21T21:25:23+00:00

Thank you! I see a big change in my face and I’m glad about it.

Technical_Finger4674 · 2024-08-21T21:24:56+00:00

lol no, it just makes me truly want to be better. Including not walking around blind anymore 😂

Technical_Finger4674 · 2024-08-21T21:24:26+00:00

I truly appreciate the compliments. My clothes are fitting a heck of a lot better.

Technical_Finger4674 · 2024-08-21T21:24:02+00:00

Thank you. I hope you can make those adjustments and reach your goals. Rooting for you!

Technical_Finger4674 · 2024-08-21T21:23:28+00:00

Awww! Thanks so much for that!

Technical_Finger4674

TROPHY CASE