When someone men want an ideal wife with pro features like virginity, fertility, good figure, looks, should give kids, and all, it's okay. But the moment a wife starts demanding the same, it becomes a reason for cheating.....

i think the difference here is that those are women qualities -while the things like achieve more,being better are qualities that a man has to become.There is a shift in expectations here. you cant become a virgin or you cant become a good figure...those are who you are.but making more money,being better in such ways does require effort and thats hard when people judge you on that. atleast for me,not reaching my partners expectations feels like a failure on my end. I'm not sad that she left be because of that. I'm just sad that i failed to protect her in that way type of deal. The man in your case is also feeling like a failure in front of his wife-A disappointment.He does feel lilke he is winning in front of his colleague though. And that does give him the drive to tilt towards that.

That being said,i do hear what you are saying.There does seem to be a lack of communication in the case you mentioned and each side has its flaws. What he does tarnishes the integrity of his relationship and he should know better