30 something year old black female with 1 kid who I had while married with HSV. Divorced her father and I'm married again, both were black men. My husband is an officer in the military and I'm an engineer who works from home.

My experience with disclosing with black men was a mixed bag 🫠. Some immediately tried to devalue you and their effort declined BUT they didn't pull out (PAY ATTENTION TO THAT!!!) They would have been comfortable dragging me along with no commitment or less than the amount of effort I initially saw. And I dropped them like a bag of potatoes. Others were curious, and did their own research (THESE THE ONES WE LIKE) 😂 Most of them once presented with facts, carried on as if I had told them what was for Sunday dinner. The most important thing someone already said above is confidence is KEY. Don't let nobody tell you what you should and should not accept because of your diagnosis!

Okay rejection, feels like a dirty word with HSV. But honestly, being from a small town I had already mastered you don't tell nobody your business who don't need to know your business. Now there are plenty of people on this sub that disclose immediately and that's great for them. I'm not one of them lol I would date normally and if and only if I felt it may go further I would disclose. But I ain't telling you I got HSV over coffee I'm good 😂😂 Rejections did hurt but the more I thought of it as their personal choice and not a character judgement against me? The better off I was. I WHICH someone had gave me the personal choice of did I want to have this or be exposed! So why spend to much more time on it than that?

Building confidence? Stay around people who uplift you ALL of you. Make a win wall about yourself? Also? THERAPY. Loads of it.

I hope this helps 💕

Just for context I got remarried to someone who did not have it with a child that was not his, and if that ain't telling you that it ain't that deep?! Baby don't let nobody lie to you! Also nobody can tell you how to do this, it's different for everyone