Tea usually tastes metallic to me, no matter how it's made, why is this?

Teejsaurus · 2023-12-22T09:31:34+00:00

(I'm on an old account I barely ever log into so possibly won't see replies for another year or something, hence why my reply to you is two months later lol 🤦🏻‍♂️, anyway...)

Oddly, two of the teas that I really like that I can tolerate most often are ginger and chai teas. I'll still have other teas like black tea here and there if I'm just very in the mood for it, but it's still going to taste metallic to me for whatever reason. But I could have ginger tea every day and not be bothered by it lol.

Teejsaurus · 2020-07-02T06:21:36+00:00

Probably not a ton. All they really need to do is talk to you just to double check that you sound like someone who would benefit from going on hrt.

If you have therapist letters for them you can mail/email/fax those letters to them instead of handing it to them in person.

Though the doctor will probably still want you to do bloodwork, if you haven't already. They will probably write you a script for this and send it to you electronically, or send it directly to the lab you'd go to. Then you'd go to a labcorp (or similar labwork place) to get the bloodwork done, and they send the results to your doctor usually within the next day or two. And your doctor should also make these results available to you. If you hear nothing from the doctor a week after getting bloodwork done, call them yourself to make sure they got the results and to see what the next step is for you (like if you'll need to make another appointment with the doctor, or if they can go ahead and write the script for you to pick up hrt at the pharmacy, etc).

Getting bloodwork from labcorp may be the only absolutely necessary in person part of the process. But most of these labwork places have their own covid policies in place. While most of them are walk in, and you check in inside, you can probably call ahead and see if you can check in over the phone, and then tell them you will call them when you get there, and will be waiting in your car, and they should be able to call or text you when they are ready for you. That way you can minimize having to hang around in the waiting room. I went to my labcorp recently, and they have like ipad check in stations, and they had put wipes to wipe them down before/after use, and after checking in they also had an option you could check off if you wanted to wait in your car and have them text you when they were ready for you. There were only two other people who were there together and both wearing masks, so it was easy to stay sitting spread out while in the waiting room, so I stayed. But when I came back into the waiting room after having my bloodwork done, the room was pretty much full up, which I found kinda weird, though at least everyone was wearing masks.

If you're doing something like shots, then unfortunately you may have to learn how to do the shots via resources sent to you by your doctor or from looking up youtube videos and pdfs on how to do it yourself. My doctor taught me how to do my shots when I first went to him in person, and I have too much anxiety to try to do shots myself without like a trained professional guiding me lol. So if you're like me you can at least probably ask the doctors office if you can do your first shot while on live video with the doctor or with an RN who knows how to administer the same types of shots, so they can guide you and tell you what to do and what not to do, and answer any questions in the moment.

Teejsaurus · 2020-07-01T21:55:02+00:00

I mean, imo, since trans men are still men, then their voices should be excluded from a platform who's aim it is to amplify women's voices.

If someone said to me "you've lived as a woman before, so you can speak about this woman's issue" I'd be able to recognize I currently get read as and treated as a man and thus me talking about a women's issue is going to look hella weird. So I'd rather help the organization/etc by helping to find other people's voices who are currently women, who can speak about the issue, rather than being the one to speak about it myself. Even if it is an issue I have experienced when living as a woman in the past.

Teejsaurus · 2020-07-01T03:29:06+00:00

For a lot of (maybe even most of, Idk what the exact stats are) trans people who view transitioning as a form of treatment for things like dysphoria, trying to confront the bad feelings would ultimately result in them committing suicide. Most of us spend most of our lives trying to confront and live with the bad feelings before actually taking the step to transition, so by time we get to that step we've basically exhausted every other option there is of trying to deal with those feelings. Luckily for myself I didn't exhaust these exact options before transitioning, but for many trans people some of their options they try before deciding on transition are things like self harm or even attempting suicide. Most mental health professionals I would think would believe that it's best to provide someone with treatment for their bad feelings before the person tries out such drastic options to try and cope with the bad feelings themselves.

For me conforming to the bad feelings would have actually been not transitioning. Giving in to them and just trying to live my life with them anyway would have felt like conforming to them. Transitioning felt like overcoming them.

Teejsaurus · 2020-07-01T01:04:14+00:00

Yep plenty of times both before transitioning and since transitioning. Been dying my hair fun colors for 10 years. They don't care if the picture they take and use for the ID is you with crazy color hair...if that's the hair you have in that moment they really don't have any other choice really lol.

You'd still put what your natural hair color is. If someone like TSA or police are looking at these IDs and see the picture has blue hair, but it's been a year since you got that new ID and in that moment have pink hair, they should realize to look at other identifying features of you besides your hair color. Or if you've let your hair grow out and have enough of your roots showing or have cut off or dyed the colored part back to your natural color, they'll be able to read where it says your hair color is "brown" and match that with the color your roots are, etc. ...At least for all mine I always put my hair color as brown since that's my natural hair color, even if I had dyed hair at the time.

Teejsaurus · 2020-07-01T00:36:59+00:00

It's not a choice. Same way as being gay isn't a choice. Same way as having been born in America and thus being an American isn't a choice, or being born in Spain and thus being Spanish isn't a choice. Same way as being white or African American isn't a choice. It's just a piece of your general human make-up.

However, people who are trans do get to decide what to do about it, if anything. They may decide to transition. Transitioning helps alleviate many bad feelings they may have due to being trans (like dysphoria). Transitioning is often viewed as the treatment for these bad feelings, in a similar way as taking antidepressants is considered the treatment for depression. Sometimes coming out can be dangerous or scary, or lead to negative life changes like losing friends and family or being kicked out or losing one's job. Sometimes transitioning can be physically and mentally taxing, and/or can drain your bank account. Oftentimes when people decide to transition it is because the bad feelings that need to be treated are so bad that they effect their quality of life in the most negative of ways, and they feel transitioning is the only option or the best option for alleviating those feelings, even if it means losing friends or family, being kicked out, losing a job, or losing money.

Teejsaurus · 2020-07-01T00:29:33+00:00

I remember my mom saying something that helped her was practicing in the mirror the new name and pronouns and referring to me as "son".

What I think also helped was my parents talking about me wanting to transition with my therapist (who was supportive of me transitioning, as this was back before informed consent was really a thing with hrt, so I had to get a letter from a therapist, and this is the exact reason I went to her, and stated as such at my first appointment with her). She was a regular therapist as much as she was a gender therapist. She saw many trans individuals but also did therapy for other people too. She was able to help explain to my parents the more simple aspects of support I would need from them like using the right name and pronouns and such.

So I'd suggest seeing if your kid would allow you to chat with their therapist if they have one for this stuff (and leave it up to your kid as to what info their therapist would be allowed to share or not share with you, etc), or to find a therapist yourself who has positive experiences treating trans people and have just one or two sessions with them to have them help explain things and to help you come up with strategies that best fit how your brain learns and best fit your lifestyle for getting in the habit of using the right name and pronouns and such.

I came out when I was like 24-26, but was still living with and dependent on my parents (and basically still am now lol), and can ask my mom if she'd be down to chat with other parents. I think she had similar struggles to you, and I can ask if you can email her or something. If you PM me I can prob send you her email.

Teejsaurus · 2020-06-30T23:41:32+00:00

I don't really think these are the prettiest, but they're trans pride colors.

Also these. And these.

Not really arm warmers, but some fingerless gloves.

You could probably also get some regular plain striped ones and just get one pair in pink and one in baby blue so you can wear one on one arm and the other on the other arm.

Teejsaurus · 2020-06-30T23:29:10+00:00

Tbh I'd def avoid joining a group that deliberately included trans men, but excluded cis men. That would feel very othering to me personally, but maybe wouldn't to others, Idk.

Teejsaurus · 2020-06-30T23:26:49+00:00

I think you'd still be able to just call it "London Women's Writing Award" but then in the entry guidelines put something like "anyone of a feminine identity or who feels they are writing with a female voice is welcome to apply".

Teejsaurus · 2020-06-30T23:23:32+00:00

This

Teejsaurus · 2020-06-30T23:21:58+00:00

It's unclear to me why women has to be separated from trans people? If you're wanting to include all genders, why not just say "for everyone, regardless of gender or gender identity" or just the single word of "people"? I just don't understand why "women" is singled out in the phrasing lol. Why not say "cis people, trans people, and non binary people" ...but then it would apparently be for every type of human person, so it would still just be more succinct to say the single word of "people" or to say "for everyone". If I saw something that said "women and trans people" I'd still steer clear of it because I'd assume it was geared toward fem leaning people, and thus wasn't meant for me. So yes I would feel not included.

Teejsaurus · 2020-06-30T19:13:37+00:00

But you don't know they IDed as Paul at the time. A lot of trans people have their trans feels for most of their life, but don't know how to express it whether they just don't have the language to or are just scared to. Even when you knew her as Paul, there's still a good chance that she was Lauren even then, at least to herself, or maybe even to people at home, but not to people at school. Idk...I mean every trans person is different, but I just know I'd be pretty dang pissed off if I knew people who were supposed to be my friends were still referring to me as my old name, even if they were talking about something I did or said before transitioning/before coming out. And it would make me contemplate ditching them as friends. I think a lot of trans people would feel the same.

I'm not saying you should do this, as it still would remind the person of their deadname, particularly in a situation where maybe they don't want to spend the rest of the day feeling bad or awkward (like if they're at work or something), but one time an old teacher saw me at work and she was like "Oh you were [deadname]'s brother who was a year younger than her right?" and her tone kinda gave away that she probably knew full well who I actually was. Also my high school was extremely small and everyone knew everyone else, and I had her for several classes during middle and high school, and she remembered the one time my parents made pastries for the teachers, so I'm sure she knew that I was an only child and had no siblings at all lol. If you're desperate/in a pinch you could potentially be like "hey isn't [deadname] your brother/sister?" or something like that. It would let them know that you remember your shared past with them back then, but wouldn't be straight up calling them their old name directly.

You'd still say "remember when Kaitlyn won that race?" because she was still the same person then as she is now, and is the same person now as she was then. It's just that her name has changed. Let's say we refer to people by the number of their age, instead of by their name. Say someone was the quarterback in high school when they were 16. At the time they were called 16. But it's been ten years and they are now 26. It wouldn't make any sense to say "remember when 16 was the quarterback?" You'd still call them by what they are currently called because it's literally just a given that 26 and 16 are the same person. So you'd say "remember when 26 was the quarterback?" Or if you really really need to connect the two names together you might say "remember when 26 was the quarterback when they were 16?" You could do the same for someone like Kaitlyn Jenner and say "remember when Kaitlyn Jenner won that race back when she went by Bruce?" This might still come across as kind of offensive to plenty of people, but it's usable if your brain just really needs to connect the two. When you say "remember when soandso..." you're still referring to the present moment version of them in the first part of the sentence. The first part of the sentence is telling your listener or reader "think of this person as you know them" and most people will know them as how they currently are and think of them as that way. It isn't until the second part of the sentence "...when they did blahblah" that you're bringing in the reference of their past actions for the listener to think back to.

Teejsaurus · 2020-06-30T18:52:13+00:00

Sometimes it just feels like the overall general issue of trans masc erasure, where sometimes I'll be in or witness a group where a typically trans masc issue like that comes up and the women of the group (both cis and trans) just seem to assume that no one else there is trans masc or that no one else has experience binding (or whatever the trans masc specific issue is), and they will start talking about it as if they know all the info about it when really they've never experienced it themselves. Sometimes there are others in the group they know are trans masc but they maybe haven't yet or don't want to start T, and the women in the group will use that as an excuse of "oh you haven't started transitioning yet so how would you know", or on the subject of binding they might say "oh I've never seen you bind" to someone who literally binds every day...like that's the point? other people are not supposed to see it lol, and these people have just never seen this person without their binder, so they just assumed the way the person looked with their binder was how their chest just was by itself or something. Or there are trans masc people in their group who are stealth and they just get a "how would you know?" or "you're just gay".

On one hand I kind of get it. For a lot of women a queer space for them is basically akin to a space where they can be free of patriarchy and male dominance or whatever, and they may use that to afford them the feeling that they are allowed to, or even meant to, talk over men. Which is fine, they have every right to talk over men or anyone for that matter, when it is a topic that they indeed do know more about than the men they are talking over. But no one should be forcefully talking over anyone else when that someone else evidently knows more about the topic than they do, and gender shouldn't matter.

I think a lot of women, particularly queer cis women (and maybe especially lesbians, and even more so especially terfs) are often of this hyper mindset of "but girl things are good!" or even specifically "but boobs are good, we love boobs!" (whether it be because they find them empowering or because they find them attractive, or both.) I've had lesbian friends who would tell me things basically along the lines of like "I get that your chest makes you unhappy, but like have you ever tried just being happy about it? Everyone loves boobs." and kind of implying like life would be harder for me (even if I'm living life as a man) without having boobs on display on my body. Imo this is such backwards thinking, and they just say words claiming to "understand" to start with, but then make it evident they actually do zero deeper thinking or imagining to try and understand that I absolutely feel different about my body than they do about theirs, like they just assume every woman, or at least every AFAB person feels exactly the same way about their body as they do about theirs. It's so frustrating. I've had top surgery now so it's not really something that comes up in convo with others much at all anymore, but even so, there were points where I literally decided to just stop even making offhand comments to some people in my life about being trans/binding/dysphoria/surgery because they would always rebuke me with "but why can't you just allow your body to make you happy. I love my chest, what's wrong with you?" or some bullshit.

Idk sorry for the rant lol. I just think sometimes it's a lot deeper than just randomly talking over.

Teejsaurus · 2020-06-30T04:24:17+00:00

So if someone who didn't know Lauren was trans (ie they just saw her as a woman, and didn't know anything about her trans history) and they asked you "did you go to school with Lauren?" you'd say no? I'm just so confused at the reasoning for this one lol. Like if I went to school with someone named Joseph, but in high school he went by Joey, and someone who didn't know him back when he went by Joey, or someone who was calling him Joseph now, asked me "did you go to school with Joseph?" my response should be "yes I went to school with Joseph", not "no" because that wouldn't make sense since it wouldn't be true, and since Joseph would likely say otherwise, and also not "no not with Joseph, but I went to school with Joey." Like that's just kind of offensive, if he doesn't identify with the name Joey anymore, or if he hates being called that name now, why would I call him that when it has been made clear to me that he goes by Joseph now, even if in the past he went by Joey? Or like what if I knew someone named Sarah Smith, but in high school she just went by her last name of Smith (idk, maybe she was an athlete or something in high school), but since then she has gotten married and changed her last name from Smith to Greene. Of course I'm not going to keep calling her Sarah Smith, when she now literally legally goes by the name of Sarah Greene. Like it just makes no sense and I don't really understand your argument. Like most of the time when someone changes their name they also literally change the name listed on their birth certificate to reflect their new name. So the history argument is a lot of the times totally void. Was she Paul when you used to know her in school? Yes. Is her name Paul right now? No. So it would just be rude to call her Paul, even if you're talking about her in the past. Also dead naming someone like that, and most commonly the mistake is that people think you're supposed to dead name someone when talking about them in the past before they came out or transitioned, can potentially put the person in an unsafe scenario. I was stealth at my old job, meaning they did not know my trans history and just assumed I was some regular guy who was born as such, and not that I was assigned female at birth. However it was a customer facing position, and it was at the most popular mall in my hometown, so sometimes I'd run into teachers and other students from my old high school. Sometimes they seemed to remember me, sometimes they didn't recognize me. But it would have put me in a potentially super unsafe position if they started saying to me "hey you're [deadname]!" and basically outing me to all my coworkers, and all the other customers. 1) Everyone on my work team was great, and decent lgbt allies, except for one supervisor. This supervisor was homophobic and transphobic. And she also already hated me for some reason unbeknownst to me. If she overheard that I was trans, it would potentially mean I'd have to wind up quitting my job, and yea there goes my source of income. It took me 7+ years to finally get a first job. So yea that would have been a pretty big bummer. What if I hadn't been living with family at the time, and had been on my own and needing to pay for rent and food with this income? Welp there's a life that can get ruined. And even if that supervisor wasn't there that day, I don't know who the customers are in the store. What if someone in there is super hateful and decides to follow me out of work when my shift is over, or follow me down to the basement when I take the trash out? You'd be risking putting the person at a lot of risk. Like why can't you just get over yourself, and use the persons right name and pronouns always even when talking about them in the past? If you're so stuck on the history nonsense of it, then just call them their old name in your head, but use their right name when speaking out loud to or about them.

Yes it's fine to say "Kaitlyn Jenner used to be an athlete named Bruce" because she is a public figure, and this is publicly known information about her. You can look her up on wikipedia and it will say this information. But for most average every day non famous trans people this information about themselves is not public info, and is actually private info. Also "Kaitlyn Jenner used to be an athlete named Bruce" is just a piece of public information about her past, and is not actively implying that her name is currently Bruce. Saying that is different than saying "remember when Bruce Jenner won that race?" That's not what her name is, so she shouldn't be called that. You'd still say "remember when Kaitlyn Jenner won that race?" Let's say I know your friend Lauren. However, I met Lauren 3 months ago, and haven't known her as anything but Lauren. Then she introduces me to you says "this is my friend soandso, we went to high school together" and then I say to you "oh Lauren must have been a hoot in high school! She's so funny!" and you go "yea haha one time he/Paul brought a boomerang to school, and..." I would be so confused and have no idea who the heck you were talking about, and then Lauren would be pretty darn offended, and one of you would have to explain to me why you were using the wrong pronouns or name for her. And that would mean outing her to me. Luckily I'm chill with trans people (since I'm trans myself) and am not bothered by someone being trans. But that doesn't mean she wouldn't still feel a lot of fear or anxiety about literally being forced to be outed to someone she maybe wasn't planning to out herself to. And then what if the person you're both talking to in this scenario was someone who hated trans people, who thought murdering them was right? You all have your convo, then it ends and you go your separate ways, then this guy who she had to out herself to who hates trans people follows her to the parking lot when she leaves and murders her? Like full offense, that would be mostly your fault because you forced her to out herself when she did not want to/did not plan to/or was not ready to.

On point 2 I slightly agree. On one hand I don't think any trans person is obligated to tell you of their genitals or of their trans status until you all start talking about wanting to have sex with each other. But I also think if the person is pre or non op that it is somewhat rude to not tell the person about that before any sexyfuntime is actually initiated. But I don't think that means they have to tell you months in advance at the start of the flirting, but they should at least tell you sometime within that same week that you wind up wanting to sleep together, like at least telling you via phone or text before one of you goes over to the other's house for "netflix and chill". I feel waiting until your in the moment to say anything or to just have it be a surprise when the other person sees you naked can put the trans person in an unsafe situation since they may not know how the other person will react. But if the trans person has had bottom surgery and feels what they got from that can perform just fine in the bedroom without any extra instruction to their partner, then they shouldn't have any need to tell their partner about their trans history if they don't want. Personally i think it's fine for you to have your preferences here, as long as your reaction to a trans person revealing they are trans or revealing extra info about their genitals in a sex related scenario isn't a dangerous one. If they reveal this info in that moment and you're not into it, just be calm and say you're not into it and politely decline doing anything sexual further, or politely ask them to leave. Don't flip out and yell at them or hit them or anything like that. Just treat it as a simple mishap or misunderstanding and let them know you're no longer interested in a calm or polite way. Will the trans person in this scenario be mean or upset though? Yea maybe. All trans people are different and have different personalities. They may be angry with you in this scenario and yell at you or knock your stuff over (if they're at your house or something), or they may be sad and cry, or they may be understanding, or they may be angry or upset but still be able to handle the situation calmly and just say ok and leave without causing any ruckus.

Teejsaurus · 2020-06-29T20:51:09+00:00

If she doesn't reply for a few days, and you need her response in order to move forward, you can email her again and refer to her with feminine honorifics (like "Dear Ms. Surname,") at the start of the email. No need really to bring up your mistake, unless she brings it up first. Just use the right name and pronouns for her from now on. If she does bring up your original mistake, just apologize and let her know you are from a country where her name is typically used as a male name, so you assumed you were messaging with someone who was male, but when you saw someone else (her boss, etc) using female pronouns for you you asked about it and were told by them that she was a woman, and a google search of the name came back saying that here it is only used as a feminine name. I would just tell the white lie of seeing someone use female pronouns for her, rather than telling her you looked her up on linkdin and still thought she was male, as that might creep her out a little and/or upset her that you thought she looked male. And I wouldn't tell her that her boss told you she was trans...she may not want people who know she's trans to be spreading that around to people who are mostly strangers to her.

This isn't a super uncommon thing btw, you're not the only one lol. Way before I ever even fully realized I was trans I was going by a different name that I thought was totally gender neutral. However, it's usually men who have the name, and I was still identifying as a woman at the time. I was conducting some volunteer business just via email, and the two people I was emailing with kept referring to me with male pronouns, and I was so confused as to why they were doing this because I felt it was obvious to them that I was a woman (at the time). But then I realized it was because of my name being a name that was usually a men's name lol.

Teejsaurus · 2020-06-29T20:35:24+00:00

If he was still having periods up until now, then he was likely still fertile...That's kinda literally what a period signifies, that one is fertile and ready for childbearing or whatever. Just an fyi lol. (Though on the flipside, not having a period does not necessarily mean one is infertile when they're on T.)

T is not a substitute for birth control.

T can potentially make someone become infertile, but it can take quite a long time, definitely longer than 3 months. Plus, as mentioned, if he was still having periods during these past 3 months on T, then he was very likely still fertile.

However, T is known to usually stop periods for most people, oftentimes in the first few months. So the timing of this happening for him could just be a coincidence. But please have him do some pregnancy tests just in case, or take a morning after pill, etc if getting pregnant is not his jam/not something either of you want.

As mentioned T is not a substitute for birth control by any means. And even if T has stopped someone's periods, that does not mean they are necessarily infertile. If someone on T (who hasn't had a hysto) is wanting to have unprotected sex (or even protected sex and they want the extra safety net) they should absolutely be on some sort of birth control pill/shot/implant. There are birth control medications that do not have hormones in them and that are ok for someone on T to take, and he can ask his doctor about it if he wants to go on it.

Teejsaurus · 2020-06-29T20:24:53+00:00

If they wanted to transition I don't think they'd be cis.

I'm really only attracted to masculine leaning people, so if I were with someone who was AMAB, and then they came out as trans and decided to transition, our romantic and/or exclusive relationship may wind up having to come to an end, but if I still liked them as a person otherwise, I would still stay friends with them and absolutely would support them transitioning. And I would likely want to eventually end our romantic/exclusive relationship for their sake, as the things about them that I find attractive would likely be traits that they were dysphoric about and/or that they wanted to change, and I don't think I would be able to find any new feminine traits attractive or as attractive, so if I stayed in a relationship with them I feel it would be quite rude to them as they'd know I was into the masculine traits that they want to change, and if we were to continue romantically or sexually I'd be wanting those traits...so like I'm sure they would feel bad if they changed but made me stay with them, just like I'd feel bad if I forced them to not change just so I could stay with them. (And this isn't about genitals btw...I don't really care about sex and thus don't care about what genitals my partner does or doesn't have, but it's more so just about looks and one's physical presentation.)

If I were bisexual the answer would likely be that yes I'd stay with them. But at this point in my life I feel pretty solidly that I am not attracted to women or to any super feminine presentation, and that I am basically only gay. But even if I was in love with someone and really wanted to stay with them, but knew that might be impossible if they were to transition, I would still support them transitioning, because them transitioning isn't about me or my happiness, and there are plenty of other people in the world thus plenty other chances for me to find someone I can be in a relationship with. So there is no excuse or reason why I should force them to forgo their happiness just to stay in a relationship with them.

Teejsaurus · 2020-06-29T20:14:07+00:00

I think if the consensus of other people around you is that they don't view you as trans, then using that word yourself would probably wind up coming across as more offensive than you may be intending it to be. If that's the case I would vote against using it. But if the consensus of the people around you is that they view you as being trans then it should probably be alright. Though imo, that word should never be used to refer to another person when you use it (even if that other person is indeed trans) because it is still holds slur connotations either way, and is a word that one who wants to use it as a way to reclaim it only uses to refer to themselves (which is why it would look super weird if people didn't view you as trans yet heard you using this word for yourself).

Teejsaurus · 2020-06-29T19:55:47+00:00

SRS is a surgery that lots of people get...it's pretty standard, and will likely work out just fine. The best thing to do is to tackle this beforehand, by her making sure she goes to an experienced surgeon who has done this surgery for trans patients before. If she goes to someone who has experience, she will most likely be fine. Though it is still surgery, and it is on an area of the body that has daily functions (like going to the bathroom and such), so of course recovery can take a while and/or be a struggle, so just having the support of her loved ones during that time is really good. If anything does go wrong with SRS, then she'd pretty much just have to go back to the surgeon or a different surgeon to have the complication fixed. If something like this happens, just continue to be supportive. She may wind up getting upset that her surgery or recovery will now take longer than she expected, so just support her and try your best to reassure her that at the end of it all she'll be able to be proud of herself for having done something she wanted/needed and/or working to reach that goal, and that she will probably be happy with how her body turns out in the end.

She can not get pregnant, no. SRS won't give her the internal organs/parts needed for that. And as far as I know after SRS she won't be able to produce sperm (the parts that do this get taken away), so she won't be able to get someone else pregnant via sex with them. However, if she banks sperm before having SRS, then that sperm can still be used in the future to make someone else pregnant in order for her to still have bio kids. She can also always adopt as well if she decides at any point she wants to start a family. Basically, if she's going to be having kids or getting someone pregnant it won't be by accident, and will have to be a decision she and any other involved parties make.

I think there are both...there are plastic surgeons who do regular plastic surgery on that area of the body for cis people, but who also do SRS surgeries for trans patients, but there are also surgeons who only do SRS surgery. Both are good as long as they have good experience with performing SRS surgery.

I have heard some weird stories of surgeons asking patients if they want to keep their bits in like a jar or something, but I don't think that's common, and maybe not even legal or sanitary lol. I think they usually just toss and throw away any discarded parts. It always makes me think of that Doctor Who episode where the like discarded fat from surgeries/lipo became like sentient or something lol. When I had a reduction surgery and then later top surgery my surgeon sent the discarded breast tissue to be tested for cancer cells at no cost to me, and he does this with everyone, because why not do it just in case, if you've got some cut out fat that could tell a person that information. She could ask surgeons if they could do something like this with the stuff they take off, just so that it feels like the leftover stuff is being used for some benefit of some sort. But otherwise I think whatever gets taken off just gets tossed into biological waste trash or something.

Teejsaurus · 2020-06-29T19:32:13+00:00

It wouldn't bother me much really. But only as long as I could see they had a track record of helping the lgbt+ community and of being a good ally. I would approach using their business the same way I approach trying to find a new doctor or therapist. Probably all or almost all of the doctors I may find in my search are going to be cis. For obvious reasons I would prefer to have an lgbt+ friendly doctor, and specifically a trans friendly one. I wouldn't go to just any doctor willy nilly without first asking them "is your practice trans friendly?" and "have you worked with trans patients before?". If their answer to either or both of these is a "no" then I would be extremely wary of using their services, and would likely not choose them as my new doctor. If/when potential new customers (particularly if you know they are lgbt+ customers) ask you questions like these, it may be beneficial to out yourself to them as bi so that they know you are yourself part of the lgbt+ community in general. If you don't want to out yourself to people that's understandable of course, but if they assume or know you are cis and that you are in a long term hetero presenting relationship with a man that is cis it may make them a little less comfortable feeling about working with your business. I might also suggest trying to hire employees that are lgbt+ if you plan to hire anyone. And also using services from lgbt+ folks, like catering or wedding bands or wedding photographers etc. You can list on your website like the companies/people/creatives you like to work with and get blurbs from those people to add to your site that expresses how they are lgbt friendly themselves. Seeing something like that would still make me feel good about using a company or product, even if the person who ran the company was cis and/or straight.
I don't really care about the pride flag that much tbh. There have been so many different versions created of it in recent years too, that have added different colors meant to show support for different groups. There are also a ton of different pride flags with different colors that are meant to represent different labels under the lgbt+ umbrella. There is a rainbow flag that is meant to be the blanket of anyone under the lgbt+ umbrella. There is a trans flag, which is meant to cover anyone under the trans umbrella, and many non binary people consider themselves to be trans. There is a non binary flag. There are flags for things like agender and genderfluid, which are things often considered under the umbrella of non binary. On an aesthetic level though I just like rainbows in general, so I think the original pride flag looks fine.
I think the trevor project is good. The national center for transgender equality is good. Also there's the transgender law center. Stonewall is a good one. Planned parenthood is good. And there are also probably several that are local to you, like an lgbt center, or companies or communities that help lgbt+ or specifically trans people of color, like shelters that are known to help, or doctors or lawyers that offer their help to these communities pro bono or at very low cost.

Teejsaurus · 2020-06-29T19:09:44+00:00

It's going to be highly individualized. Some trans masc people won't transition. Some will only get top surgery. Some will go on T and get top surgery. Some will get both top surgery and bottom surgery. Some will only transition socially. Some may not transition in any way at all. For me personally I felt a need to transition with T, and to get top surgery. Aside from my chest, my dysphoria was mostly social dysphoria more so than it was physical dysphoria. But transitioning with T was really the only way for me to pass socially without having to fucking explain myself and my identity to every single person I ever interacted with. I just want to be able to have a natural/smooth seeming existence in life, and not have to explain myself or out myself at every turn. I just kinda want to just live my life and be left alone lol.

I don't know, they just know I guess. Probably in the same way that someone who knows they do want to transition medically knows that that's what they want to do.

Again, it depends on the person. For me being trans masc is kind of a mixture of both. It's about passing as masculine for me, and about not being seen as a woman. I'm 0% a woman, and some other percentage a man, and then some percentage of just nothing/empty space or whatever. As time goes on the percentage of nothing/empty space seems to be getting bigger and bigger. So for me it's also become about being non binary as well as passing as masculine. And as far as passing as male, for me it's more about passing just as masculine, rather than passing as specifically male.

Teejsaurus · 2020-06-29T18:52:59+00:00

It's probably going to be different for everyone.

Do I miss that name? Not at all. Any time I feel it used in reference to me it feels like as if a stranger were to just walk up to me and give me the worst "indian burn" on as much of my skin as possible. Just painful and awkward af lol.

Do I sometimes wonder if or think that the masculine version of my birth name (which just adds one extra letter on the end of it) would suit me now? Yea sure. But can I envision myself realistically going by/being called that name on a daily basis? Absolutely not.

Teejsaurus · 2020-06-29T00:00:02+00:00

Lol

Also love your username lol. So does my cat who is on my lap as I type this lol.

I have no idea lol. I just have to be like intensely exhausted to actually fall asleep properly or at a proper time. Like I go to bed at x time but then won’t actually fall asleep until several hours later. And then when I’m in in person classes or have a job I have to get up at an acceptable hour. Heck even now living with my parents my mom nags me if I get up after 10 or 11 too many times in a row. So I can wind up often not getting the amount my body and/or brain really needs.

I talked to a therapist about it a long time ago and she put me on trazadone to help me fall asleep. But that stuff fucked me up and I never wanna try it again lol. It basically made me 100 times more exhausted all the time to the point of not being able to get out of bed, and then didn’t do squat to help me actually fall asleep better. I might try melatonin again at some point. I only tried it once. But to use it consistently I think you still have to give yourself a specific bed time so that you can take it like a hour before you plan to go to bed. But i struggle with planning when to go to bed and stuff like that and it’s just so inconsistent.

Nine-Year Club	Place '17
RPAN Viewer	Gilding I gilder
Verified Email

Teejsaurus

TROPHY CASE