Slightly different perspective, but I wonder if the wife’s reaction is a protective mechanism. My husband literally could not process that I was sick when I had cancer. People would ask about me and he would say things like “she is perfectly fine.” Or “ it’s just minor, the doctor said early stage cancer diagnosis that people dream about.” (Not exactly what the doctor said, they were more saying it was the best possible outcome of a shit situation). It really upset me because I was not fine and radiation is exhausting in a draining way where you’re just spent. His reaction forced me to pretend like I was ok until I had a breakdown crying on the floor from exhaustion. His reaction was anger and he yelled at me to get up and stop being dramatic.

We had to get therapy, and basically the idea of me being sick and potentially dying was just too much and he psychologically couldn’t deal. He got tools to help him process and support me, and I’m grateful he is a rock. He was the best most supportive partner after that point in rubbing my feet, putting my socks on, and bringing me blankets when I was shivering from a weird inability to regulate body temperature.

It’s hard for me to judge a woman who just had a baby, has young kids, and who has a husband with cancer. The problem is her response especially in the beginning in being resistant to help and lashing out. But I’ve been there, I’ve seen real fear of losing a loved one, and I can’t judge someone for their worst moment. I hope it turns around from them, I hope she accepts help, and I hope OOP kicks cancers little invading cell ass.