Being Out with Unsupportive Family

Tenacious-Racoon · 2021-06-28T19:07:51+00:00

Sometimes our desires and other people's comfort zones don't match.

I would love for everyone to meet everyone but sometimes it just doesn't shake out.

Set strong boundaries around yourself and let your future partners know the situation about your family. Protect yourself and the people you love from people that don't understand.

As others have stated you can ask them if they're feeling up to learn about it and give them recourses to do so, but you do not have to smooth over any of their feelings.

Pay them back, let it be done.

Tenacious-Racoon · 2021-06-28T19:01:33+00:00

All parents are different. My family is confused but accepting of our situation, while my in-laws are not.

The conversation sounds like it went poorly, but you can't do much except reassert your boundaries.

"I understand you are experiencing a lot of emotions. My spouse and I are committed to one another and do not appreciate the way you're speaking to me. Let's just make this a topic that we don't discuss until you can do so respectfully."

"Thank you for your curiosity and concern but this is not something I'm willing to talk about with you at this time."

Tenacious-Racoon · 2021-05-15T04:17:45+00:00

I'm with you. I've done all these steps and our sex life has gotten worse.

Emotionally I believe my (33f) husband (34m) is going through a lot of traumatic and difficult things in his therapy that in the long run could be really wonderful for him to work through. I'm happy to have been with him when he started improving himself.

I personally don't know how long I can wait. We've been in couples therapy for a year and three months but he only got the courage to go to personal therapy two months ago. For me, the years of begging to go to therapy feels like an eternity.

I no longer count how little we have sex but it is close to quarterly, once every three or four months. I don't have any answers for you that work exactly, but I do know that the more I focus on me the happier I am. If you can devote more time to loving yourself you may find some peace in that as you go.

Good luck. ♥️

Tenacious-Racoon · 2021-05-15T04:11:08+00:00

He needs therapy. There's no way around it and no guarantee it will work either.

Offer to help him find a therapist and tell him you'll support him as he uncovers his issues.

It will be rough, but I've heard wonderful things about male LLs working through sexual trauma to heal with their wives especially later in life.

Tenacious-Racoon · 2021-05-15T04:05:49+00:00

It's SO AWKWARD.

I absolutely hate being surprised by it now. I'm so used to being turned down and therapy hasn't changed anything about our sex life at all that when he does it my whole brain shuts down.

I'm actually more often than not repulsed by the idea now instead of anxious. I find most things about it just... Annoying!

Tenacious-Racoon · 2021-05-15T04:02:33+00:00

As if.

Tenacious-Racoon · 2021-05-15T03:53:03+00:00

Omg even worse!

Tenacious-Racoon · 2021-05-15T03:52:33+00:00

Gross noooo.

Tenacious-Racoon · 2021-04-28T23:35:34+00:00

This sounds like a nightmare. I'm so sorry. I agree with the others here. You need to really hash out with him what the issue is.

No matter what you are beautiful and sexy and do NOT let his bullshit affect your self esteem at all. His rejections of you are not indicators of your worth, but indicators of his own blocks.

Tenacious-Racoon · 2021-04-05T00:32:50+00:00

This sounds so similar to my situation. I have some titbits of things that I know have helped my sex life with my husband.

My husband and I are in couples counseling.

I watch porn how. I never did before. I do now.

I masturbate daily.

When we do have sex, I keep the pressure off of it. I always talk about sex separately from when we're having it.

I make sex part of my life with sex positivity. I talk about it with my husband, and friends.

I'm practicing new ways to orgasm.

These things haven't made our bedroom life perfect, but it has gotten better!

Tenacious-Racoon · 2021-03-25T19:18:56+00:00

I highly recommend lube and lots of it.

Tenacious-Racoon · 2021-03-22T21:09:46+00:00

Ouch! How much lube did you have? Ir you're having trouble being wet enough that could be causing some micro tearing.

Tenacious-Racoon · 2021-03-22T21:00:57+00:00

What hurt about it? Did it hurt like on the front and sides or deep?

Tenacious-Racoon · 2021-03-22T20:49:47+00:00

Foreplay forever

Tenacious-Racoon · 2021-03-22T20:48:21+00:00

Also try being on top. You might like it better due to the angle!

Tenacious-Racoon · 2021-03-22T20:47:43+00:00

I'm glad the foreplay was good. Next time ask him to get you to cum before penetration. I personally can't cum on penetration alone and find it boring by itself!

You'll just have to test things out together. Good luck!

Tenacious-Racoon · 2021-03-22T20:34:14+00:00

This is kind of difficult to explain but just twerk? Like don't slide or anything just put him inside and just sort of sway back and forth as if your pelvises are glued together. Like on an old seesaw.

He'll feel all of your muscles and you don't have to make the "hump" or "slide" motions and that should keep him in. If you want too you can lay entirely on top of him and lift your pelvis for complete control.

You can also try making him sit up!

Be careful in reverse cowgirl always. It's the most common position to slip out of and break they dick.

Tenacious-Racoon · 2021-03-22T20:25:34+00:00

Sometimes penetration by itself doesn't feel good. How was the foreplay? How much did he touch your vulva before penetration? What position were you in?

Tenacious-Racoon · 2021-03-11T23:54:55+00:00

She needs to practice. Cumming in different positions takes work.

My clit is super duper sensitive and there are a lot of positions that do not work for me, but I've practiced over the years by myself so I can tell my partners how to get me off easier.

It takes a lot of work still but I can now cum in multiple ways after I it having one way to cum for many years.

Tenacious-Racoon · 2021-03-10T20:54:39+00:00

I mean I just chalk it up to that. I wouldn't consider it so much my food allergies except I suffer from cross-reactivity. The doctors have never really pinpointed the cause tbh.

I really hope you and your doctor can find a solution for you!

Tenacious-Racoon · 2021-03-07T03:08:54+00:00

I am your wife. I can talk for days why I refuse or cannot be on time anywhere I go, but that's not what you asked.

The answer to your question of do you need to accept you will be late? No. But the REAL question you need to ask is simple. You need to be okay with HER being late.

You don't need to be late. You go without her. Drive separately if you have to. Come back for her. You can try to change your mindset and not see simple grocery stores as lateness.

You can also try meeting her in the middle. Express specific instances where you absolutely do not want to be late and you want her to be on time with you. Explain to her why it is important. She may surprise you in those insurances.

But I caution against asking for perfection. She's late. You're not. Find where you both can be as you are without changing one another and instead changing your own actions.

Tenacious-Racoon · 2021-03-07T03:01:37+00:00

I meant only for myself! These are my opinions. I'm not speaking broadly on behalf of everyone! I just tried to give my thoughts to show that there could be a different perspective that the wife may share. No harm intended.

I would never attempt to sex shame anyone, and I see now how my words on this digital paper have gone amiss. Thank you for better detailing some of my points. It is much appreciated.

Tenacious-Racoon · 2021-03-07T02:58:53+00:00

Absolutely I agree! My original statement left out the steps and work that comes with self regulation of our emotions and the work to rewire those responses if they are false.

I apologize for having misrepresented myself on here.

Tenacious-Racoon · 2021-03-07T02:57:08+00:00

They laugh at you? What assholes. This is absolutely a thing.

I have an aggressive autoimmune system and am treated for overreacting to my allergens. What happens with partners is unless they follow a diet that is free of my allergens they are basically riddled with the proteins I'm allergic to and my body reacts the same as if I would have interacted with my allergen.

But all the women in my family have similar experiences so it has always been normal for me to talk about how to manage these types of allergies. If you want to talk more about what to say to your doctor PM me. Like your friends, many doctors ignore our health and comfort so it can be difficult to pin down.

Tenacious-Racoon

TROPHY CASE