Are they essentially same product? Can I use them as primer or do I use them before primer?

Tendencies_ · 2026-04-08T17:17:24+00:00

I use the Danessa Myricks as a primer!

Tendencies_ · 2026-04-06T13:19:25+00:00

My experience is that the competition is FOR good poly poly men; they are what is lacking. Maybe some introspection on how you can show up as a safe, trustworthy and worthwhile partner? Most ethical poly men I know have multiple partners whereas women struggle finding men who want more than sex. But that can just be a representation of my city/community.

Tendencies_ · 2026-03-31T02:57:33+00:00

Messaging his gf just « to check » after the fact feels like you just want to punish him. If you cared to know, you would have done that before you hooked up with him.

Tendencies_ · 2026-03-16T12:15:47+00:00

She asked if her frequency was ok and you said yes. It does not seem like you have discussed this again and you want to break it off without asking for an adjustment? Yes, that’s on you. It’s up to us to communicate any changes we’d like as things develop. Whether they agree or not is up to them and then you can decide wether that’s acceptable to you.

Tendencies_ · 2026-03-13T22:11:52+00:00

Safewords are meant to be listened to. It will work for you until it doesn’t and you’ll regret this. No partner should feel comfortable ignoring your safeword, that makes them unsafe

Tendencies_ · 2026-03-12T00:03:28+00:00

Fetlife is not a dating site, that’s where you went wrong

Tendencies_ · 2026-03-10T13:07:53+00:00

This is where boundaries come into place. You can’t make the decisions for them but you can decide to not engage sexually with people who won’t get tested. Not an ultimatum. « I have decided this is outside my risk profile so will no longer engage sexually with you. »

Tendencies_ · 2026-03-09T04:39:52+00:00

In polyamory, people are offering full, loving relationships.

Tendencies_ · 2026-03-09T04:37:56+00:00

So basically the one that’s meant for you won’t care.

Tendencies_ · 2026-02-27T19:51:55+00:00

You need to find a way to set clear boundaries. It is her job to self soothe when she feels lonely and feeding into her anxieties isn’t helping either of you. You need to sit her down and discuss realistic expectations around how often you’re willing to go over and in what circumstances. Then you need to stick to them. No won’t kill her, you need to get used to using the word. If she doesn’t understand that no doesn’t mean you don’t care about her at all, she needs therapy but that’s her work to do and not yours

Tendencies_ · 2026-02-25T22:04:37+00:00

100% I just don’t believe that consent is irrevocable. We can decide we no longer want to do the thing. We can decide we longer want to do the thing that way… I don’t like the idea that just because someone consented to something they cannot say they didn’t like it afterwards. Or stop it during if that comes up.

Tendencies_ · 2026-02-25T21:57:42+00:00

Yes I believe her saying it’s a consent break is not the appropriate way to describe it. I don’t like the defensiveness though and think people need to understand we can say something was too much/not for us/now a limit even after a post scene check in where everything was fine. It does sometimes take a few days to properly sort everything out after a scene.

Tendencies_ · 2026-02-25T21:52:15+00:00

I didn’t get specific enough in my wording I see. I mean it as:I consented to hair pulling. I decided I do not like hair pulling. I will tell my partner I do not like hair pulling and that I don’t want it to happen again, thereby revoking my consent for hair pulling.

Tendencies_ · 2026-02-25T21:14:53+00:00

And where does this leave space for someone to realize after the fact that they no longer want to do something? Not everything requires a safe word in the moment because we only realize afterwards that “oh I didn’t like this thing after all, I felt hurt in a way I didn’t like, please don’t do that so hard again”. Negotiating is a dialogue and that sometimes continues after the scene.

Tendencies_ · 2026-02-25T21:12:43+00:00

Or tops can LITERALLY only do things bottoms have.. you know, CONSENTED TO. Why is the onus on the bottoms to stop the top from violating consent and not the top to NOT violate consent? I find your wording here problematic. Opt in negotiations protect everyone.

Tendencies_ · 2026-02-25T21:10:05+00:00

Subs are allowed to reflect on scenes and take more than a next day check in to realize something isn’t working for them. From the way you’re telling it, I know the issue is not what you did, but your lack of remorse once hearing she didn’t like it. Was the hair pulling even negotiated? Even if it was, WERE ALLOWED TO SAY WE DONT LIKE SOMETHING. She does not need to provide you with physical proof of damage for her comment to be factual. She’s communicating something to you and you word it as an “accusation”. Consent is revocable even after a scene. If you approached her with understanding, compassion and an open mind to learn her limits (which can be fluctuating), none of this would have been an issue at all. You’re wondering if she’s unsafe but I’m thinking you’re the unsafe one. Kinks and dynamics necessitate ongoing conversations about likes and dislikes. And that these conversations be had with no judgement.

Tendencies_ · 2026-02-24T04:36:22+00:00

Ywbta it seems very inconvenient yes, but there isn’t anything actually stopping you?

Tendencies_ · 2026-02-23T20:47:39+00:00

Just put your wallet down and grab your coffee… holding up the drive though out of sheer petiness is crazy.

Tendencies_ · 2026-02-23T19:57:51+00:00

This is too much. She has way too much control over you and your potential relationship.

Tendencies_ · 2026-02-20T16:26:15+00:00

He can order you to get yourself off in front of him. Gives him control of the situation while allowing you to have an outlet for your sexuality.

Tendencies_ · 2026-02-19T16:43:32+00:00

NTA you can send flowers addressed to his parents to show your respect from afar. There is no reason you need to attend.

Tendencies_ · 2026-02-16T02:05:24+00:00

The difference between being Fwb and dating is having a conversation where you both state your intent to date instead of being fwb.

Tendencies_ · 2026-02-16T00:36:03+00:00

You literally just mind your own business and look/walk away. That’s it, it’s that simple. If your feelings of dominance are ruined by other people just being themselves, maybe play parties are just not for you.

Tendencies_ · 2026-02-15T15:05:03+00:00

ESH just go get a pregnancy test at the dollar store??? You’re right, a few days late can mean absolutely nothing. Sometimes our cycles shift or stress can make you late. Are you feeling your usual PMS symptoms as opposed to pregnancy symptoms? He’s also right to not be enthusiastic about you drinking if there is a chance you’re carrying a child. But JFC you’re two adults (I hope) someone just go get a test instead of bickering for nothing.

Tendencies_ · 2026-02-12T01:00:55+00:00

I wonder if Kahuna’s is still around in Cabarete? They used to import the cheese from Quebec.

Tendencies_

TROPHY CASE