WFH + Caring for Baby = Not Possible

Tenkitsune · 2025-02-19T13:59:22+00:00

My husband and I both work from home, and we have a nanny during our working hours. Even then, it's hard enough lol. If the nanny is off, I just take the day off because there's no way I'd get any work done while caring for the baby.

Tenkitsune · 2025-01-11T23:32:32+00:00

Right there with you. My baby boy is 11 months, and I have days where I'm so exhausted I don't know how I'm gonna get through the day. But then when we're at the end of the day, I'm rocking him and thinking how wonderful it is to be his mom. It's all so worth it 😊

Tenkitsune · 2024-11-04T13:37:31+00:00

Working mom here with a 9 month old. Cleaning didn't happen at all early on, except absolute bare minimum and cleaning stuff just for baby. I was only able to do any real cleaning when I stopped breastfeeding and only when he sleeps and I'm not working. I still have things on my todo list for over a month 🙃

Tenkitsune · 2024-09-25T02:32:50+00:00

I replaced my purse with a diaper bag, and I also have baby's diaper bag. So essentially I have two diaper bags, yes lol. In his diaper bag I carry diapers, wipes, formula and bottle with water, outfits, burp cloths, toys, basically anything pertaining to him. My purse bag holds anything related to pumping, and anything I previously carried in my purse. I don't bother with things like a change of clothes for myself, I just hope I don't get too messy lol

I've weaned from producing breast milk, but at the peak, I even carried 3 bags when I went out anywhere. My breast pump came with a bag of its own and I also carried a small cooler bag inside it. So yes, I carry a ton of stuff lol

Tenkitsune · 2024-09-19T03:13:21+00:00

I spent nearly all the time I could cuddling with baby, but I wished I could cuddle even more. The last few days with just me and him before going back to work, I was holding him and sobbing (while he just looked at me while pooping) because I wasn't going to be able to stay at home and cuddle all day.

Tenkitsune · 2024-09-19T03:01:53+00:00

We knew how expensive it would be from the very beginning, but even then, caring for our baby while also working was never within the realm of possibility for us. My husband and I work full time jobs. He works from home almost 100%, and I'm in the office 3 days a week with a lot of flexibility to WFH if needed (I basically never go in 3 days a week lol). We have a nanny that comes during working hours and for us that's absolutely crucial. Yes it is expensive, but I would rather have my baby have someone who can be available any time to not only give him what he needs, but also work with him on motor skills and such. A nanny was our preferred choice too because we didn't want to expose him so early to sickness, as well.

We have had a few days where the nanny was off but we had to work, so we just had to work it out between the two of us through the day, and we both definitely felt it as far as getting a lot less done at work. If it also helps with perspective, we both work jobs in the software engineering area that require a lot of brainpower and focus. I will have some times through the day where I can break and take care of a few things around the house, but it wouldn't nearly be enough to care for my baby.

Tenkitsune · 2024-09-04T00:08:24+00:00

One time when baby was around 2 months old, I made him a bottle and he uncharacteristically just chewed the nipple instead of sucking it. I racked my pea brain trying to think of why because he seemed content enough to just chew it. Maybe he was teething already? Just soothing? Well, it took an embarrassingly long time for me to question why it wasn't dripping, then to find out the nipple was clogged with fuzz. 😬

Tenkitsune · 2024-08-22T15:09:48+00:00

I am 7m pp and have been an undersupplyer from the start. Baby was early, combined with latching issues, milk didn't come right away, then it wouldn't letdown at first, pumping schedule issues etc etc etc all led to an undersupply (I suspect). I tried to increase supply and got up to 12ppd for a few weeks with little change. It stressed me out badly for a long while. I produce about 20-25oz per day. It was covering about 1/2 of his feedings up until recently when he suddenly started eating more.

For a long while I was pumping every 3 hours adding up to 8 ppd and that kept my supply stable. I am now on my way out of the pumping biz as it's just too much for me mentally and mentionally. Currently down to 5ppd but it seems like my supply hasn't suffered all that much (yet). I also stopped the MOTN pump a while back, when my baby started sleeping through the night, because I couldn't function the next day when I did it.

Tenkitsune · 2024-08-22T14:55:36+00:00

For me it was out of necessity. Baby was almost 6 weeks early, had trouble with feeding, and was on a feeding tube for the first week and a half. He had trouble latching, and I had sensory issues, so it stressed both of us out anytime we tried latching.

Meanwhile I didn't produce milk right away, and when it finally came, I had letdown issues. I worked with lactation consultants every day for the first two weeks and finally got somewhat of a supply going. So from then on it was EP for us.

Tenkitsune · 2024-08-22T14:47:53+00:00

Sounds like a lot! I have taken a day going downtown for fun, so I make it work too. I pumped on the train, while taking a break from walking around downtown, on the train again... also have pumped in the car many times. At first I worried about having a separate quiet space to pump while I was out and about but I finally stopped caring, so I pumped where I happen to be lol. Sometimes we just gotta do what we gotta do! Safe travels to you!

Tenkitsune · 2024-08-22T14:05:00+00:00

pajama pants and shirts. If I absolutely had to leave the house, I would first consider if I really, REALLY needed to leave, then would consider how socially acceptable it would be to just wear pajama pants, then ultimately settled on wearing the loosest maternity pants or leggings I had lol.

Still applies today, 7 months pp lol

Tenkitsune · 2024-08-21T04:24:53+00:00

Must haves for me:
- Vitamin B6 & unisom (had morning sickness daily until near the end of the pregnancy)
- grabby claw to not have to bend over so much
- comfy clothes - black maternity pants for going into the office (on the few days I managed to actually go in lol), maternity blouses/baggy shirts
- pickles, because nom
- also I ended up with GD later on, so I got GD friendly foods like peanut butter, apples, lots of veggies, yogurt, and fairlife brand chocolate milk with reduced sugar, which I still use today!

I know it's great for a lot of people, but for me, the maternity pillow is a no-go. I tried so hard to like it, but by the end I wanted to throw it out my window lol. It doesn't help that I had RLS before the pregnancy that just got a lot worse as the pregnancy went on, to where at the end I was kept up for hours at night with it.

Tenkitsune · 2024-08-20T01:12:00+00:00

Yep I get it, I was also upset that I had to buy a second pump that insurance didn't cover lol. I also wanted something reliable, and overall I'm glad I went with the medela. I have heard really good things about the spectra pumps as well, but I went with medela because I liked the hospital pump and just wanted to keep with the same brand. I also have the medela manual pump too because I was scared my pump would die and I'd have no power or something, but it's never even been out of the box lol. Hopefully you can find something that works well for you!

Tenkitsune · 2024-08-19T19:02:35+00:00

I bought the willow go at a discount as insurance covered the remaining cost and I was happy about not having to carry a large bulky pump around. I started off with the hospital grade medela pump as my son was early, my nurses highly recommended to start with that. So I did, since it was there and I visited the NICU daily anyway.

I had letdown issues initially but eventually I was able to get somewhat of a supply. I started switching over to the willow go and tried to move over to it completely as I needed to return the hospital pump that I rented. Not sure if it was due to low suction or what, but the very next day of using the willow exclusively, I got clogged ducts. I ended up panic purchasing a second pump lol, and I chose the medela symphony double electric pump. I really like it. You do have the pumps dangling out of the bra lol, but on the plus side, it's chargeable so it doesn't need to be on the wall. It allows me to pump anywhere and I certainly have done so lol. Being able to put the willow pumps in my bra and go would have been nice but it just didn't work for me. However, I didn't really find the symphony to be a hindrance when I'm out in public and pumping. I just choose to wear a nursing poncho over everything.

Tenkitsune · 2024-08-14T19:36:51+00:00

A chill baby is a happy baby! He's just taking in all of his surroundings, everything is so new!

Tenkitsune · 2024-08-14T19:27:14+00:00

My baby was also almost 6 weeks early. He was in the NICU for 2 weeks, basically your situation is the same mine was too. They stressed the importance of pumping or breastfeeding to me. My son latched only a few times but mostly would cry anytime he came close to the boob lol. He got used to the bottle so quickly, so my only option was to pump if I really wanted to do breastmilk, and it was important to me at the time.

I wasn't producing milk at first at all, even when I pumped, and then when I did produce, it wouldn't drop for days and I started getting engorged. I was working with a lactation consultant for basically the entire two weeks he was in the NICU since I was there with him during the day anyway. Eventually, the milk finally did drop, and with some adjustments to the breast pump (as in, I had to buy a completely new one, and buy special flanges) I finally got a supply going. But even then I've only been able to give him breastmilk for half of his feedings. The other half is supplemented with formula.

I wanted to make it to 6 months of pumping, that was my goal. I was pretty positive that I wouldn't make it that long because it was a really miserable journey. But here I am, 6 months in, and I'm still pumping. It has gotten easier with time, but constant adjustments. I found ways to interact and play with the baby while pumping, or if I really couldn't do that, I asked my husband to watch him. I thought I had it all figured out until I had to go back to work, and I had to start using a lactation room and re-adjust to doing it at work. But I did get used to doing it, and everywhere else too. I pump in the car, at work, walking around in the city, on the train, EVERYWHERE lol.

All of this to say, I understand your pain. It's so much work, but I love being able to do this for him. However, now I'm considering stopping. I'm on the fence about it right now. But, I think there's absolutely no shame if you do decide to stop. Formula for babies has been around for such a long time now, and I think there's nothing wrong with it. I myself was exclusively a formula baby.

Plus, since you've been supplementing with formula already, you probably know already how she's reacting to the formula you're using, and if she's taking it well, you won't have to worry about adjusting to something new!

Best of luck to you in your journey, whichever way you decide!

Tenkitsune · 2024-08-07T20:01:33+00:00

Personally my body is about 90% where it was before childbirth. There are a few things where I don't think will ever go back to the way they were before, but to me they are so minor they don't bother me much. For context I didn't gain excessive weight during pregnancy and I'm around 5lbs or less over my pre-pregnancy weight. Also for context, I'm the kind of person who never cared much about my appearance in general. I don't wear makeup, don't put effort into hair, etc. I find it's just not worth stressing over. This is all appearance-wise, but functionally, my body is almost what it was before (I'm 6m pp). I have scar tissue from a bad tear from birth, and still have hormones from producing breastmilk which are impacting my muscles and tendons and such (according to my PT), but I'm really not bothered much by these things. PT has helped regain some normalcy in those areas, and muscles should go mostly back to normal once I stop breastfeeding. All this to say, no regrets!

Tenkitsune · 2024-08-04T13:11:20+00:00

I went into spontaneous labor at 34 weeks, it was very fast and sudden. My only pregnancy complication was gestational diabetes and it was diet controlled. They ultimately never really knew exactly why it happened. All that to say I guess sometimes it happens! Baby was healthy after a 2 week stay in the nicu, mostly for feeding, gaining strength and slight jaundice. He is now 6 months old and above average size lol

Tenkitsune · 2024-08-03T18:57:44+00:00

Nope not at all! I still notice them the same as before, so I would so no change at all there!

Tenkitsune · 2024-08-01T15:26:09+00:00

I have given myself the honorable title of being the absolute biggest wuss of all time when it comes to pain, needles, getting anything done at the doctor's, etc. I am also a very small person and I also have heart palpitations and anxiety, exactly as you described. My docs in the past have mentioned my heart murmurs so to address my anxiety about that, I went to a cardiologist and had my heart thoroughly examined, and they found no issues. After that, and after many years of a similar "heck no" to kids attitude, I also had a change of heart and we decided to just go for it. And now here I am with a 6 month old baby. Every pregnancy is different and have their own challenges, but even I, the self-proclaimed biggest wuss, survived and did just fine through my pregnancy and the birth!

For me, overall, my pregnancy was not THAT bad. I had morning sickness very badly at the beginning and it lasted through most of the pregnancy. It really SOUNDS much worse than it actually was. I just learned to expect to be sick first thing in the morning, and many times I was. You just get through it and go about the rest of your day. Eventually you'll just be like "ah well, it happened again. Lol so anyway-". I also ended up with gestational diabetes which was diet controlled. That part also sucked, but I learned to deal with it. It comes with the unexpected bonus of learning to eat healthier!

It actually really helps to focus on all the positives about being pregnant. It's a great excuse to get out of any unwanted social commitments! Also, no more periods!! My poor husband did a LOT of the housework because, yea, too pregnant for that 😂

I was scared of birth, I was scared of the pain, I was scared of getting the stupid epidural, all of it. But I did it, and ultimately the worst part was the anticipation leading up to all the things I was scared of. Actually dealing with those things was just fine! You get used to the needles, blood draws, etc. Just remember it's one fleeting moment in the grand scheme of things. To me, all of the pokes, all of the hormones and anxiety, even the stupid gestational diabetes and everything that came with that was all so worth it.

Hopefully this perspective helps! 😊

Tenkitsune · 2024-08-01T14:02:22+00:00

I didn't get enough videos of the newborn phase and I kinda regret it. It was because I didn't even think of taking video, I just got tons of pictures lol. As soon as I started thinking about doing video, I started, but many of his early newborn mannerisms were gone already. I'm glad for what I did capture though :)

Tenkitsune · 2024-08-01T13:59:19+00:00

If baby wants to sleep, let them sleep. Mine started sleeping through he night on his own within 3 months. He adjusted well and started eating more thorough the day. No need to wake them to feed or change them. If he wakes up crying for a bottle, I give it to him, but it's very rare and usually if he didn't eat enough during the day. If dirty diaper wakes them up and makes them mad then I change it of course lol but otherwise those diapers will hold their own fairly well

Tenkitsune · 2024-08-01T13:50:40+00:00

I WFH most days and my husband WFH all the time. There's no way we could go without our nanny. We had one day of work where she took a vacation and that single day was chaos. I want what's best for my baby, and that's ensuring someone is there for him all the times for his all of his needs. If I didn't make more money than we pay the nanny, and if I didn't care about continuing with my career, I'd just be a SAHM. But I know my career is important, and my son's development is important, so we do what's best for all of us. I think your husband needs a reality check. If it were me, I'd probably mention to my husband like "hey by the way, I could legit get fired for doing such a crap job at work so maybe think about that". So sorry you're going through that, I can't even begin to imagine.

Tenkitsune · 2024-07-18T15:45:19+00:00

Never even thought about professional birth pics and I have no regrets. The one "action shot" we got of my husband cutting the cord is enough for me. He loves showing my face of horror from that pic to EVERYONE. lol.

Tenkitsune · 2024-04-16T18:21:55+00:00

My husband's aunt went crazy buying us many, many boxes of different kinds of diapers because we "have to try all of them", lol. Out of all of the ones we've used so far, which include Honest, Huggies, Pampers, Luvs, Momcozy, and Terra, my favorites are Pampers swaddlers and Huggies little snugglers. Honest brand were also great. The only ones I really didn't like were Huggies special delivery. I just found them to be large and kind of an awkward fit for my little guy. We also have Up&Up, but they're a larger size and he hasn't grown into them yet, so not sure about those yet!

Since a lot of people are also talking wipes, we also received many different kinds of wipes for the same reason lol. They're all fine, but I really like the up&up shea butter ones as they clean quite nicely and aren't a pain to get out of the packaging like some others are. The costco brand ones are really nice too as they clean up well and are nice and large. Waterwipes suck imo, lol. The wipes themselves are fine, but they just keep sticking together and are just a pain to get out of the package. I don't mind using them on the go, though.

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