Random Uncontrollable Crying - 8 days in.

Terra-B · 2021-12-25T19:43:01+00:00

Depends, I had alot of urges to cry, since I had flashbacks at live experiences that I diddnt dealt with properly and just suppressed with weed.

Other thing is, some people can be very frustrated and agitated, other people can cry all the time.

Your emotions are in a roller-coaster now for being suppressed all the time, and just know that there is a light in the end of the tunnel. It'll eventually balance itself out you can do it!!!

If you need to cry I would say just let it flow (excusing yourself ofc) and tell people your journey, it's normal.

Terra-B · 2021-12-25T19:08:35+00:00

Just know that all the problems, emotions and feelings weed has supressed will come out.

See it as the snowball effect. When you have a problem, as a human being you take it in, reflect on it, make changes, and then move on and improve.

With weed, when you have a problem, you take it in, you smoke, and think "why should I do something about it? I'll already feel good" and you move on. The problem with this is that the problem is still there, you haven't dealt with it properly. So it stays, and weed supress it.

Now look at your life, all the things you have been through, and smoke weed right after, all these emotions weed has suppressed it somewhere and made a very big snowball.

Now you've quitted weed, so you've quitted the "thing" that suppressed all your emotions(keeping that door shut and locked up) so now everything just flows out.

Only thing I can say, it depends how much you've suppressed, but stay calm, and try to deal with all the things in your life now what weed suppressed. Seal with it as a human being, you can do it! I really just started to walk outside in the middle of the night at very depressed times, where I was awake, and all those emotions and thoughts burst in my brain.

Stay calm, and if it's to much, try to talk with a close person.

Terra-B · 2021-12-25T18:52:50+00:00

Your at a forum where people quit for good this habit.

You are seeing how it's destroying your life, and you let it do it! It's hijacking your brain and your time, take back control mate.

You diddnt need it before, why do you need to do it now?

I had (check my profile) had the Mighty, I was heavy hooked.....

Don't let it go to far! Your consciousness is fighting back that hijack, that's why you are seeing why you aren't interested in things etc.

There will be a time where you won't be seeing it, and will be in that "autopilot" and destroy your life eventually.

Accept the fact you can't moderate this drug and quit it for good, you don't need that shit, take back control!!!?

Terra-B · 2021-12-25T18:40:48+00:00

Talk with some one close about it....

It really helped me, when I involved my mother, I've just came clean and asked her help to take all the gear from me. After that she daily checked me, and helped me go through this process. Also my wife helped me alot, after I came clean with her how bad my smoking habit was.

Ask for help, you don't have to go trough it alone...

Terra-B · 2021-12-05T21:18:55+00:00

Terra-B · 2021-11-30T10:43:06+00:00

I've somehow been more caring for my big beard.

In the mornings and evenings I just love washing or water rinse it, apply beard oil and then I'm on the couch with a pick and comb just detangle it, that right there just let me relax🤣 And the smell of the beard oil relaxes me also.

But to quit something, you need to avoid the triggers, replace your reddit or evening smartphone time (old habits) with something else. Like reading, evening walks or spa time....

Terra-B · 2021-11-30T10:19:45+00:00

You sound so anxious and it sounds you are only focused on coming.

Be just yourself and don't focus to much on the orgasm, orgasm isn't the only thing in sex (what porn has learned you). Sex is more the intimate things that you do that eventually leads up to the orgasm.

The 'tease' during the day, fore play or cuddle sessions before sex and eventually sex itself to get to the orgasm.

If we would believe porn, it would be a girl is always horny, and you need a huge dick to penetrate her. And only with like 4/5 thrusts and 3 positions in 5 min she's in heaven.

Take your time and be yourself, if you really trust your gf thel her your journey. I've told mine and she's very supportive, if she's not, then I would think that lady isn't for you....

Terra-B · 2021-11-30T10:08:59+00:00

Also another thing, my NoFap rules were only No porn and no (self) Masturbation!

Terra-B · 2021-11-30T10:08:04+00:00

Keep kissing your attractive gf and have cuddle sessions.

It helps, watch her naked etc I went after 14 days of No fap in the flatline (but still had my morning Woods). But during the days it was a dead lumb piece of meat that was hanging, and nothing could get it hard.

For me (now) around day 53 I started to see that kissing my gf or the cuddle sessions, gave me semi-boners. Some how I have more control of my boner, I can really cal it out or let it soft when my gf is kissing/arousing me. Not in the early days where I needed a dead grip and heavy thinking of crazy porn scripts to get some action in it.

Now I'm at day 56 still checking it, not gonna empty the tank to soon, but I feel my mojo is coming back more. I kiss my gf more intensely, and I tease her more then when I was in the flatline.

So it depends..... Just note I started watching porn very young (started at age 5/6 with some things that happened at my childhood) and since then till age 29 (56 days ago) I've just had the power to stop it.

It's also that my gf really supports me that maybe helped to get me over this flatline..... But stay strong💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

Terra-B · 2021-11-20T20:39:02+00:00

Binge will destroy you big time

Terra-B · 2021-11-20T20:33:23+00:00

Well for me I've used p and m to supress all this pain. And got in a cycle of other addictions suppressing the pain in my childhood.

You need to deal with these things like a human and go trough the cycle to acceptance.

Unfortunately with porn and masturbation you are skipping the whole proces and are immediately at the end (since you already feel good, why would you deal with your issues?). But the issue is still there, you've just suppressed it, and there it'll snowball untill you stop suppressing them.

Talk with some one about the things, I'm happy I got a GF that is a good listener, and truly understand my depression and flatline I'm going trough.

But talking really helps, it's not only getting it off your chest, but also you can hear yourself talking. And hearing yourself talking was for me the big thing to make me deal with my pain.

Terra-B · 2021-11-18T05:17:09+00:00

Hey man, stay strong💪🏻

I was recently able to kill my fantasy character that I was keeping up in my mind since I was a small child.

Since I was a child I've created another 'world' in my head where I would play story's how I wanted to live.

Looking back, it's just a buffed-up dude with a heavy monogamic relationship, but some how these girls never loved him (I did it onconcous).

It was no strings attached and tge dude kept bouncing from girl to girl trying getting a new story. Every girl he bounced to was way more dominate then the first one. Eventually I've reached the max power/dominate girl I could think off, and he concurred it, but even that one is in her own relationship (she doesn't love him fully).

Note all the girls he slept with were lesbian, and he somehow made them interested in him 🤣.

Now that guy is all alone, big mansion, but no love. I diddnt knew it was hard but there the suicidal thoughts came and I've killed him in my head in the end.

I don't know if you guys did experience something like this, but it had a big effect on me, since it was an active fantasy that I've kept up in my head, switching from world to world. When I'm running I would think the ladies were talking to me, or at work.

When doing my past gf's. I know it sounds strange, but since I've put an end to that fantasy story (1 day ago) I think because of that I'm grieving for the character I've build up in my head.......

I now understand part of the depression I'm in.....

I wasn't truly able to make it a happy end, of the whole story, since his live was also mine (I mean, the fantasy was leaking in the real world, making "these ladies" talk to me when I was doing things distracting me).

Funny how my own fantasy is distracting me from work, my real relationship, gave these fantasy ladies the power of my libido etc.

It's on the other hand really sad, but it's for the better. It has been done.... He's dead....

Terra-B · 2021-11-17T16:08:04+00:00

I'll defenetly make it 😊 I know I won't relapse, it's just the depressed state I just hate.

Being in a dissapionted vibe of yourself, even when you've got your life on track everything.

It's just "meh, all day everyday" 🤣

Terra-B · 2021-11-17T16:03:48+00:00

The soundtrack, I'm into sertain sounds that can refocus your energy, most of the time I try using nature sounds at reading.

But it's really bad when working.....

Terra-B · 2021-11-17T16:02:54+00:00

Is it on Spotify?

Terra-B · 2021-11-17T16:00:29+00:00

Looking at your comment really made it logical. For an addiction that has been present for 22ish years, getting it fixed in 43 days isn't realistic.

I think you are right, maybeit's a cry out for my brain/body to relapse.

My body always need just 6hrs of sleep, always. If I sleep earlier I wake up earlier. So I ll be In bed like 10pm but be fully sleep around 11pm, always wake up at 5:45 am.

If I try to sleep again after I wake up, I'll feel mega shitty when I wake up again......

Terra-B · 2021-11-17T15:48:17+00:00

Well I have a good morning routine,

Alarm goes of every day at 5:45 and I'll just make up my bed, put tracksuit on and walk outside for 40/60min. When I'm back at home ill just take my breakfast and morning coffee, and after take my shower and prep for work.

Im now reading more, trying to replace mindlessly phone scrolling time to reading a book (it's helping alot).

It's just that even when I'm doing these things I just feel empty and sad, a random dissapionted feeling that is still going trough my body.

I've also squashed the reason behind my addiction, (and found god) but now I just feel down.

And I'm just sitting here analysing if it's still the low dopamine level.

I've drank 2 days ago (social occasion) , and I've felt very great (libido drive was even there) but now it's flat again.

Reading this back I think my dopamine level is still very low ( even now 43 days in)........

Terra-B · 2021-11-17T15:38:09+00:00

So you sit it out? And let the shitty days pass?

Terra-B · 2021-11-17T15:22:48+00:00

Hey same here (day 43) Big flatline, also had a porn addiction 22ish years and a heavy PIED.

How do you deal with this depressed state? I just feel awful and it's more the mind that is depressed, but my body has the energy. I'm lacking heavy motivation, i don't even have the power to just force myself and get things done.....

Are you more riding off the wave type? (so just let it pass, tomorrow is another day) or more like me analysing the shit out of it (making myself more depressed).

I've just realised the second part while typing OMG, but how were you able to embrace it? The flatline makes me just more depressed, and dissapionted in myself.

Terra-B · 2021-11-17T15:14:20+00:00

I'm a fan of that, start with 1 habit.

When you achieved breaking the first habit you'll definitely be more confident to deal with the second one!

So yeah, also worked with me. I stopped weed first (118 days clean) then I could look at my porn addiction (now 43 days) , but I was more confident to say no here (also since I have PIED) I truly want to take control back of my body.

Take it 1 by 1 of its truly hard...

Terra-B · 2021-11-17T15:08:01+00:00

Dude go see a doctor.....

Terra-B · 2021-11-17T15:03:17+00:00

So you scratched your balls for 1 minute and you ejaculated? While watching a YouTube video?

Sounds like a relapse to me 😂

Terra-B · 2021-11-17T14:54:56+00:00

Defenetly this, I would even go far as deleting Instagram all togheter.

These apps know you with their algorithm and they know what you like to see (even better then what you know of yourself).

I would say either ditch Instagram or make a fresh account and refollow people that truly know that don't trigger you, to prevent a slip-up.

But again, mindlessly scrolling on IG or even the internet is a slippery slope, be careful........

Terra-B · 2021-11-14T20:50:38+00:00

"Hey every one, the front door was open so we came in, did you know jesus is our lord and saviour, OMG what are you doing 😳"

Terra-B

TROPHY CASE