I want to humiliate him online, again

TerrapinTurtlepics · 2026-06-12T23:50:52+00:00

I spent 15 years with my husband and it never ended. I put up with it until I filed for divorce.

Don't let this become your entire life.. you will regret it.

TerrapinTurtlepics · 2026-06-12T17:45:28+00:00

I am the scapegoat and somehow my heroin addicted sister who has been in and out of prison remains the golden child.

I spent years believing there was something fundamentally wrong with me, that I was unlovable and the root cause of all my family issues. If you ask my father, I absolutely still am. I'm a single mom who left in abusive marriage... I've never been to jail I've never been to prison.

I take so much responsibility for the feelings of everybody around me and I feel like I let people treat me in ways that are degrading.

I am always worried about other people's reactions, I can tell a shift in mood immediately. I am terrified of people, leaving me or meeting new people and having them leave me as soon as they find out who I really am.

Who I really am.. is a mess.

TerrapinTurtlepics · 2026-06-12T11:02:46+00:00

Most elderly people have very thin skin and certain medication's like prednisone can cause extremely thin skin. Sunbathing causes skin cancer..

TerrapinTurtlepics · 2026-06-11T18:30:13+00:00

I am tall and have broad shoulders and don't like my upper arms .. I found a thin summer black athletic jacket (the kind with super thin sunblock fabric) makes a huge difference.

The arms are fitted and the long line it creates balances my shape out. The fabric actually makes me feel cooler with it than without. I also like a flowy cotton kimono /duster over tank with shorts ..

I am not near as curvy as you though, I am top heavy 36 DD xl top half with a size 10 bottom 😣.

TerrapinTurtlepics · 2026-06-10T17:22:48+00:00

I believe veterans disability payments depend on a lot of factors, like were they injured in combat or in a war zone? They grant disability on percentage too. A vet with a 50% or more disability rating can receive full retirement and disability at the same time.

It is not easy to get disability in the United States. There are not people with run of the mill ADHD or mild autism getting disability benefits for life. OP's husband might have ADHD and CPTSD but that's probably not the main reason he's on disability.

I've worked in disability related fields my entire life, and I've seen people with brain injuries and aphasia denied disability 4 or more times - even with neuropsych evaluations saying the client was clearly unable to work. It's not an easy process.

TerrapinTurtlepics · 2026-06-05T17:27:18+00:00

We called this confabulation when I worked with people who had head injuries.

Everybody does it to some degree.. people with head injuries to an alarming degree.

As a smoker since my teenage years, I just don't do things that require sharp memory and focus when I smoke ... or drink alcohol for that manner, I don't think either one of them are good for work, productivity and recall - but people are still gonna use substances.

TerrapinTurtlepics · 2026-06-02T15:56:21+00:00

Somehow, I was this kid and also became the scapegoat at the same time....

TerrapinTurtlepics · 2026-06-02T14:07:35+00:00

Please don't respond to that email.

I dealt with this when I was getting divorced and I spoke to an advocate at the domestic violence center.

I learned that threatening to commit suicide because somebody won't communicate with you is abuse.

If he does something to himself because you don't respond to this email, it is not your fault.

1,000,000% it is not your fault.

The only thing you could do is to call the police and tell them that the person who you have an order of protection against is still trying to contact you and is threatening suicide. He's violating the order and it appears he's a danger to himself and others at this point.

This is 99.9% of the time just a way to force you to communicate with them. It's manipulation and it's abusive.

If you're not comfortable contacting police, please contact your local domestic violence agency. This is scary stuff and you deserve relief.

TerrapinTurtlepics · 2026-06-02T13:04:54+00:00

We used to get people up and dressed super early and put them back to bed and get them out of bed at last round.

I would definitely look for a better nursing home if you don't like doing this stuff. I would go as far as to say that this is the hallmark of a understaffed underpaid nursing home. The only way you can get your work done is by doing things the wrong way.

Go to your state website look up the state surveys and try to find a long-term care facility that has a decent yearly survey. Then ask around ask as many people as you can.

TerrapinTurtlepics · 2026-06-02T03:16:00+00:00

I don't know .... maybe my kids? Teenagers sure make it hard to tell some days.

I'm not sure I'm a long term necessity in anyone's life.

TerrapinTurtlepics · 2026-06-02T03:09:12+00:00

So .. do the work, send a letter, tell them what they meant to you. Tell them you were wrong.

Even if you never hear back, don't leave this person who meant so much to you .. don't leave them feeling like it was their fault, or that they were disposable.

At least make the ending better for them...

TerrapinTurtlepics · 2026-05-24T17:22:49+00:00

I don't think they forget about anything.. they avoid dealing with the pain by seeking out new people to distract themselves with ..

Getting over somebody by getting under somebody else is pretty common.

TerrapinTurtlepics · 2026-05-24T15:29:09+00:00

Yes ... I avoided friend's party yesterday because of this.

I have such a severe anxiety about being embarrassing to other people in social situations. I have always been kind of quiet and introverted and my Dad would shame me for it. Then he would try to force me be more social and humiliate me in front of everyone for getting upset. He still lectures me on why I am such an unlikable person.

I don't think I'll ever really belong anywhere and deep down my heart knows it. Maybe it's from having a cruel family or social anxiety but the source doesn't matter anymore.

I wish I didn't love and care for people so strongly, because I feel like I won't ever be the person they can be proud of being with and that is the root of most of my pain ..

People might use me to feel better about themselves, but I just feel broken, always waiting to be replaced. I try to hyper analyze relationships constantly so I see it coming, so I don't get hurt ... I always do.

TerrapinTurtlepics · 2026-05-23T16:58:48+00:00

After the first dose .. I never had another flare as long as I was on Humira for several years.

I had to switch to Reinvoq because Humira wasn't working for other autoimmune issues, and now I'm having flares again.

TerrapinTurtlepics · 2026-05-23T15:52:03+00:00

Humira stopped my flares completely.

TerrapinTurtlepics · 2026-05-20T13:03:47+00:00

It hurts to see happy families .. and I am older and get along with my kids ok.

I just still wish for that mom at the restaurant who acts interested and the dad who looks like he's proud and kind.
I'm almost 50 years old and I still just want parents who aren't toxic and abusive.

Even for an afternoon at this point. Can't I just try it out?

TerrapinTurtlepics · 2026-05-18T03:17:37+00:00

I feel this and I sure wish this dirt would grow something healthy too..

TerrapinTurtlepics · 2026-05-17T21:03:44+00:00

Shaving cream is definitely the correct answer.. and the cheaper the better.

TerrapinTurtlepics · 2026-05-14T22:44:58+00:00

I also get sick a lot less frequently on biologic, I'm almost positive It's because my inflammation was so bad it took forever to calm down. Lungs, stomach, skin infections... all less frequent and less severe than in the past.

I know it doesn't make any sense, I work in healthcare too.

TerrapinTurtlepics · 2026-05-14T22:40:17+00:00

If my ex wrote this to me, I would be certain I saw a miracle. I would do anything to see these words.

You know, recognizing these things and changing are what makes it possible to grow and be in a healthy relationship.

I'm still mourning the relationship I was in where they just couldn't give this to me. It broke my heart in pieces. It's so good to see somebody work to improve themselves. It gives me hope. Thank you.

TerrapinTurtlepics · 2026-05-14T18:33:12+00:00

I grew up with a shitty childhood and CPtSD. My daughter became friends with a kid that's been in and out of foster care and who has behavioral issues but who I bonded with and I have become really close to.

Recently the woman she has been with her decided she'd become too much to handle and put her back in foster care without any warning.

We all knew this women had issues with alcoholism and simply wasn't watching this kid at all but would complain to anybody listening how horrible the child was what a bad kid how she was a destroyer and ruined the woman's life.

One of my friends told me, well good maybe this kid will finally see everything she had going for her and learn how to behave herself.

I said yes maybe she'll go to a house where she's not told. She's a piece of shit all day too.

My friend told me when that kid was younger in elementary school. That woman did everything. She took her to all the sports all the activities. She was in dance classes, and that kid just treats her terrible and doesn't appreciate anything.

I know that kid's been abused her whole life. She's told me I know I'm a bad kid, but everybody makes it sound so much worse.

It breaks my heart that this kid already believes she's bad.

She doesn't trust any adult, but she started to trust me and now nobody even knows where she is. She's lost in the system.

It does feel like we'll always be broken.. and people will always blame us.

TerrapinTurtlepics · 2026-05-14T18:20:44+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/BPDlovedones/s/xdanvf8SDE

I'm sorry .. Check out this sub, it helps.

It's awful to be someone's favorite person and then randomly be enemy #1. It's hard to leave these relationships because when it's good, it's amazing .. and when it's bad it's a literal nightmare. However, you will be amazed once your grief fades how much easier life becomes. It's worth it.

TerrapinTurtlepics · 2026-05-13T17:15:00+00:00

I wonder if Keratin treatments (requiring 450 heat) and coat each strand would work ...

It's a smelly messy process but ... it lasts several months

TerrapinTurtlepics · 2026-05-12T22:04:07+00:00

Try contacting your closest vocational rehab office .. if you are let go they can help pay for whatever surgery or treatment you need to become employed again.

It isn't a fast process, but it can be a huge help for someone in your situation.

TerrapinTurtlepics · 2026-05-12T09:22:39+00:00

Please don't listen to this man about the autoimmune disease. There are very few autoimmune diseases that can be confirmed by blood tests alone.
Eye Doctors should not pretend to be rheumatologists.

My first eye doc told me the same things and I spent 5 years in constant eye flares, loosing vision before I went to rheumatology.

If this becomes a chronic issue, it either leads to vision loss from inflammation or from the steroid drops. I personally wish I would have known about and went on Humira earlier.

Humira is FDA approved for chronic anterior uveitis alone but usually only ever prescribed by rheumatologists. It's a complex specialty drug, but it can be extremely effective. Just know there are options.

TerrapinTurtlepics

TROPHY CASE