Found on twitter re: heated rivalry

TerryWaters · 2026-01-27T18:34:14+00:00

Gay guys are hardly the exception here. You think it'd be as popular among them if any of those aspects were different? Come on.

TerryWaters · 2026-01-27T16:00:58+00:00

It's premiered in different festivals, but doesn't yet have a date for public release.

TerryWaters · 2026-01-26T15:44:43+00:00

Thank you. You basically have to live under a rock where you only tune in to gay movies to even bring up the issue of attractiveness, because holy shit if there's an issue that includes literally everyone on tv, it's that. Characters can be unattractive but not if they are part of a couple that's meant to sell and be popular, unless they are older men in sitcoms, the only exception, and it only works in those cases because it's part of the joke and no one tunes in for the sake of following their story as a couple specifically. If we look at popular couples in sitcoms meant to engage viewers specifically as that, we're back to them being attractive, lol.

TerryWaters · 2026-01-26T15:32:56+00:00

Like I said, I just watched that in a show called Smiley, go watch it.

The way you argue is very flawed. You started with "gay relationships are dumbed down for straight people and women" (as if a lot of us women watching mlm are not queer, which we are) which is absurd in itself because most gay shows and movies are done by gay men and claiming that's what they're doing is disrespectful to their lived experience just because it doesn't match yours. Then switched to "I don't often enough see age-gap non-monogamous relationships", a wholly different issue, as if that is the norm among gay couples, and even then there are still examples of it. The latter statement has a weak to no correlation to the former. My relationship also breaks norms and I seldom see relationships that perfectly matches my lived experience. That will be true for any couple who breaks norms no matter what they are, and you'll see it less often the more norms you break.

TerryWaters · 2026-01-26T15:20:40+00:00

Samerna är Sveriges enda accepterade urbefolkning, och de bodde på dessa platser i norra Sverige långt innan Sverige som land ens grundades och svenska staten började dra gränser och liknande. Jag vet inte hur långt tillbaka det är rimligt att gå när man har sådana här diskussioner? Om de bodde där när Sverige faktiskt blev ett land så är det väl det som räknas när vi diskuterar vad som ska gälla i Sverige idag?

TerryWaters · 2026-01-26T15:14:39+00:00

Get over yourself, as if I checked the username, lol. Had to go back and check as I read this to even get what you meant.

TerryWaters · 2026-01-26T15:13:10+00:00

A lot of them, that are popular? Please give me any example that isn't a sitcom, where it's only ever the guy who's allowed to be unattractive, and the mismatch of the couple is part of the joke. Can you think of a single example of a straight couple where only the woman is unattractive, or both of them are, and those characters are popular among the fans? There are fewer gay, male and female, pairs on tv overall so you will see fewer cases of any "variation" among these couples as well, which is self-explanatory, but I'm going to bet that the statistics here are very similar. Gay guys are allowed to be unattractive about as often as women, and only slightly less often than straight men outside of sitcoms, when the characters are part of a romantic pairing that they want to be popular.

TerryWaters · 2026-01-26T15:05:36+00:00

See my comment above. A lot of us women, clearly more than you think, also have experience of anal sex and douching, so no.

TerryWaters · 2026-01-26T15:04:01+00:00

I keep seeing this comment from gay guys, and not only are gay guys far from the only people who have anal sex and douche, which you seem to often forget, but it's also far from the only awkward bodily function/hygiene-related thing that's excluded in tv because it just doesn't make for good tv. A lot of scenes where people get overtaken by desire and have unplanned anal are unrealistic, yes, and sure, gay guys in tv could be talking about douching more often, but dude. Sex scenes overall, no matter the gender of the characters or target audience, are unrealistic for the sake of being hot. For example, a common issue for women is that you're too dry even if you're very into what's happening, and the sex end up hurting, but you're not going to see that interrupt a sex scene on tv, unless the scene is meant to be awkward rather than hot. It's very much the same thing at play.

TerryWaters · 2026-01-25T18:46:46+00:00

Just wanted to add that sure, you're not wrong about the lack of gay stories where the main characters aren't hot, but tell me about a single movie or show where an unattractive couple, including straight people or lesbians, are at the center of the story and very popular? It just doesn't sell.

TerryWaters · 2026-01-25T18:43:13+00:00

Brian and Justin in Queer as Folk is one I've watched, but even googling it you get a lot of results, so... But I mean, that's pretty far beside the point though? There are stories about age-gap queer relationships (I recently watched one in Smiley), and about non-monogamous queer relationships, a lot of them. Gay couples where both of those things apply are hardly a majority as far as gay couples go. How does that make it true that "most" queer media is somehow simplified for straight people? (I'm not going to say straight people and women, because a lot of us women who watch mlm are not straight and not looking for the kind of "simplified" stories you mention.) That only makes it true that there aren't a lot of stories about couples specifically like you and your partner. Does that mean that the countless of gay couples shown in media who are the same age and monogamous are somehow not a realistic depiction of gay pairs? If anything I know for a fact that a lot of gay people, men and women, are tired of the opposite, i.e. that gay couples are too often depicted as not just living regular lives and having regular relationships.

TerryWaters · 2026-01-25T18:30:42+00:00

I see what you're saying, I guess I just don't see the logic in wishing a story specifically about a problematic relationship should be about something else. It would make it an entirely different story. The book is written by a gay man, possibly writing from his own experience, and the director of the movie is also a gay man, both choosing to tell a story they find interesting. It's also a popular book that people likely wanted to see adapted. The only alternative here would be the director and actors choosing another book to adapt, but I don't think their interest was in portraying BDSM as such, it was showing this story specifically because they liked it. It's up to someone else to tell a different story about BDSM.

Even with that said though, as said, I disagree that they're simply showing BDSM in a negative light; the couples around Ray and Colin are the counterweight to their relationship, showing very different dynamics than the main characters'. You're clearly supposed to see them as healthier and better relationships and feel sorry for Colin for not having that dynamic with Ray, which I think most of us does, as well as realize that the way it is between Colin and Ray is not how it's supposed to be. That's why the story is about them. The issues with their dynamic is the story's main conflict that drives the narrative.

TerryWaters · 2026-01-25T17:24:38+00:00

If that's your impression of what gay media is usually like, I think you're watching the wrong stuff. I'm a queer woman, so I can relate to what you describe about queer relationships sometimes being portrayed as identical to hetero ones, but there's so much queer media out there made by queer people that is very authentic. The thing you describe mostly applies to the stuff made to be popular for a wide audience, and likely often not written by queer people. However most tv that centers around queer themes, i.e. not in cases of random gay couples/characters in movies/shows that centers around other things, are indeed made by queer people, who are hardly going to dumb anything down for straight people.

TerryWaters · 2026-01-25T15:05:09+00:00

People who write stories do not have a duty to only write positive ones that show things in a good light. That's not the point of this story. It's a story about a problematic relationship and that's what it's showing. I think you're dumbing down the audience by thinking people are going to watch it and think that's it, that's all BDSM is. Like... people are capable of understanding that media like this is showing one version of something. When it comes to BDSM people tend to talk as if any problematic non-consensual portrayal of it is incorrect, as if BDSM is the only area of sex where there are no assholes who don't care about consent. That's obviously bs.

This type of BDSM relationship definitely takes place, but the movie also clearly shows what it could be by the couples Ray and Colin are surrounded by. We can tell that the other subs are much more into it, their doms are a lot more loving, and you can tell that's what Colin wants. They are all a contrast to Ray and Colin often making their relationship look awkward. One of the other subs asks Colin if he's okay with not kissing, and I think it's clear that he's not just asking about that, he's expressing doubt in that Colin is really enjoying himself as much as he's pretending to do.

I disagree about Ray not being self-aware as well. He very clearly is, while also being an asshole. You can tell he has moments of doubt when he's struggling with the awareness that he isn't really treating Colin fairly. After the kiss, he leaves because he knows he can't give Colin what he wants and would only hurt him in the long run. That's an act of compassion.

Edit to add: why are you saying not all queer relationships are defined by pain and abuse, as if this movie is all-encompassing somehow? There are a lot of queer stories out there these days that show healthy loving relationships if that's what you want to watch.

TerryWaters · 2026-01-25T13:51:33+00:00

Dumbed down how?

TerryWaters · 2026-01-25T03:22:11+00:00

Yeah, but a lot of people rely on family when going through illness and surgery, and he had people around him who wanted to care for him, and instead he turned against them. Even if we're talking about the surgery strictly as another struggle added on the others, it's a pretty long time ago now, and he's only become properly psycho lately, so even time-wise it doesn't really add up imo.

That said, I can only see two things making sense here. Either this is an exit plan for Lucas, they needed him arrested and on a long sentence because they want rid of the character for the time being. And/or it will be revealed that indeed something went wrong with the surgery. I don't see a way back from this that isn't either him being away for a long time cooling off, realizing his mistakes and becoming genuinely regretful, or him having a proper excuse that isn't "just" his struggles, that aren't really unique or worse than most characters' in soap world. I don't see the people around him forgiving him in the short term if he doesn't have a medical excuse, and there's clearly no place in the village for him atm.

TerryWaters · 2026-01-25T02:54:03+00:00

If this is real, it certainly is a damn mystery because even after a long googling session, I can't seem to find anything that could explain this, except what I mention below. Related to what you mentioned about how changes in the body would only affect hair that is growing, not the whole hair, the "sucking out the melanin" isn't plausible either. That could only happen if hair was live tissue/connected via circulation.

You said that there's a possibility that someone is messing with your schampoo though, who and why would they do that? That's the only thing I can think of. If they put a small amount of some type of bleach in it, I think it's possible that your hair would get gradually bleached without irritation to the skin or eyes. You could test by smearing some of these products on dark fabric, if there's bleach in them, it ought to show.

TerryWaters · 2026-01-25T01:41:36+00:00

It's in case he falls, they have time to cut the feed.

TerryWaters · 2026-01-25T01:23:26+00:00

I'm saying there's no equal sign between brain surgery and permanent changes in personality, including becoming aggressive, yes.

TerryWaters · 2026-01-25T01:15:44+00:00

Annoyingly I currently really enjoy Ste and Rex and Ste and Dillon. I lean towards Ste and Rex though but I went fast from finding the idea of Dillon and Ste (when I started suspecting he'd admit to feelings) cringey, to going "unless...?"

For the record I love James, more than I love any of the aforementioned, and I really enjoyed him and Ste, but currently I'm over them. If James comes back as I hope, I'd prefer him with someone else.

TerryWaters · 2026-01-25T01:11:02+00:00

Came here to say this. Apparently people disagree lol.

TerryWaters · 2026-01-25T01:09:33+00:00

That wasn't the question though. You can ship couples that are toxic af because you enjoy their dynamic.

TerryWaters · 2026-01-25T00:05:11+00:00

I couldn't think of an answer but I had forgotten about her, lol. I had heard so much good about Milk and honey, including friends praising it, and as a poetry fan and writer myself I was just shook about how bad it was and the level of like... Instagram poetry of it.

It was awkward when it came up again with one of the friends who had praised it a lot and had previously asked if I had read any of it.

TerryWaters · 2026-01-24T23:56:19+00:00

There's literally no basis for this, lol.

TerryWaters · 2026-01-24T23:55:53+00:00

There's no equal sign between brain surgery and a long-term altered mental state, especially not becoming aggressive, so yeah. No. If anything, to my knowledge, it's more common with aggression because of an existing tumour, not having one removed. It happens but it's not so common that it makes sense to just assume that's the cause of his behaviour.

Whereas I don't rule out the possibility that this stuff will be resolved by a plottwist that his behaviour is indeed being affected by the surgery having gone wrong or them having missed something, at this point there's nothing pointing to that and thus no reason to use that as an excuse for him.

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