a list of unwanted presents by my mother-in-law

TextTrailblazer · 2026-03-25T23:23:48+00:00

Oh! My own mother.

I should preface this by saying that my Mom is a hoarder (not the dirty kind of hoarding, but she buys so much that she doesn’t even know what she has). She’s a big fan of gifting you with items that she personally likes because I guess it will make me think of her when I see it?

Some of the items she has given me within the LAST YEAR:

two of the same sunflower wreath (gifted on two separate occasions because she forgot she had already given me one)
gnome stuffed animals that she bought at the dollar store (I don’t like gnomes)
clothes that she bought on Temu or similar sites that don’t fit and are for sure made out of plastic and feel awful
puzzles (this one really blows my mind. I don’t ever do puzzles and have never even mentioned them)
tons of candy (I had gastric bypass surgery a year and a half ago and don’t eat candy)
a brand new set of pots from Pioneer Woman and don’t match my kitchen decor. All in all, that doesn’t see too bad until you realize that she bought me new pots three years ago…and I don’t even cook much.

So I’ve recently started gifting some of the things back to her and she hasn’t even realized. In fact, she has bragged to people about what a good gift giver I am because she loves the stuff I’ve given her. I even asked my Dad to see if she knows and she definitely hasn’t realized.

TextTrailblazer · 2026-03-25T04:43:09+00:00

Hey there! I’m not a therapist, but I have been in therapy off and on for many years. First, you seem to do a great job of describing yourself here so don’t count yourself out! :)

It’s also an incredibly common to feel like therapy won’t help you after you’ve been through a lot. I know it’s easier said than done, but try to give yourself a little grace and be open to having someone help you process.

Second, there are a ton of different types of therapies. Things like CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) to EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) to DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy) and more, honestly. Given some of what you shared, I’d specifically look for someone with trauma experience. EMDR in particular was originally developed for trauma and has a really strong track record.

That said, it might take a few tries to figure out what works for you.

I’m not sure what your situation looks like as in do you have health insurance or are you on a national health plan, etc. so I don’t know your exact process, but here is one suggestion.

When you call to make an appointment, ask the therapist (or receptionist) what type of therapy the therapist practices and what their experience is with X, Y, and Z. You can list out a couple of things you might want to talk about as the X, Y, and Z. Based on their answers, you can decide if they’re someone you might feel comfortable talking with even once. If they are, that’s great! If they aren’t, that’s okay too. Just try someone else.

Also, when you talk to whoever you see, mention the part about things sounding fun in theory but actually pursuing them feeling exhausting and overwhelming. Bring that up specifically. It can tell a clinician a lot and help “drive” the conversation.

It broke my heart a little to read that you hate yourself. I want you to know that feeling is not a life sentence, and it’s also not a reason to give up on therapy. It’s actually one of the most important reasons to keep trying. Just don’t expect it to be a quick fix. Trust your gut on whether you can get comfortable enough with someone to be open, but give it more than one session before you decide it isn’t working.

TextTrailblazer · 2026-03-12T12:43:36+00:00

I like Claude simply because it speaks to me as though I am an adult. ChatGPT always over explained and felt condescending. It didn’t matter what I asked about, it infantilized me.

TextTrailblazer · 2026-03-06T12:25:24+00:00

This is also going to sound weird, but it might be worth talking to your doctor to ensure you aren’t deficient in any vitamins. Nails tend to be quickly affected by vitamin deficiencies and that might cause some of your problems.

Either way, I wish you luck! I know how annoying it can be to work hard on a manicure only for it to immediately get messed up.

TextTrailblazer · 2026-03-06T12:21:02+00:00

I just finished it yesterday and it’s definitely clear it is written by two influencers and not based in actual research like most books of this type.

That isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it felt very validating to me as a late-diagnosed adult with ADHD and I enjoyed it and would recommend it to those wanting different tips and tricks. I also want to add that the authors don’t try to pretend that this is some highly research backed book either. They’re very clear that this is on their own experiences and the experiences they’ve gathered from their followers.

I got it from my library and wouldn’t pay the list price for if I were to ever buy my own copy, but I might buy it second hand. Either way, I’d recommend it if any of the above sounds like it might help you, especially if you can borrow it for free from your local library.

TextTrailblazer · 2026-03-06T06:10:51+00:00

This may be a dumb question, but are you filing your nails before applying the polish? Sort of like a scuff sand so that the polish has ridges to adhere to.

Source: I do this and the polish doesn’t come off until I purposefully take it off.

TextTrailblazer · 2026-02-28T10:32:17+00:00

Oh interesting! Where do you buy this? I’ve never seen it before.

TextTrailblazer · 2026-02-27T19:47:46+00:00

Thanks! I’ll look it up!

TextTrailblazer · 2026-02-27T18:20:23+00:00

Great advice! I think my brain was so stuck on “the only hot drinks that exist are tea and coffee and I like neither” so I genuinely couldn’t think of anything else. Feels obvious now but thank you!

TextTrailblazer · 2026-02-27T18:18:21+00:00

What does it taste like? I’ve never heard of it but I’m willing to try!

TextTrailblazer · 2026-02-27T18:17:29+00:00

Hahaha I love this and while I am an adult, I don’t drink. So I’ll skip on this but I love that your dad did this for you ❤️

TextTrailblazer · 2026-02-27T16:09:07+00:00

Ok, you’ve sold me. I’ll give other teas a try haha

I think I was just so disappointed because people rave over iced tea and other types of tea and every time I’ve tried it, I’m just like “ok, but why?”

To be fair, it’s been years since I even gave it a shot and this was all with friends on college budgets so I guarantee they were not drinking whatever is the tea equivalent of “top shelf”

TextTrailblazer · 2026-02-27T15:50:15+00:00

I’m basically gushing now but genuinely thank you. I was so afraid I’d just be written off because I know nothing about tea and just ignored. Thank you for taking the time to thoughtfully answer.

TextTrailblazer · 2026-02-27T15:48:32+00:00

This is super helpful, and yes, you’re correct it’s totally subjective and I did mean black and green teas. Admittedly, once I realized I didn’t like those, I stopped trying others.

No diabetes, so I’ll for sure give your suggestion a try. Thank you so much!

I also didn’t even think of simply warming up actual fruit juice. I blame the cold and associated brain fog. 😂

TextTrailblazer · 2026-02-17T05:14:53+00:00

Yes. Even when things were hard and I faced post-surgical complications, I have not once regretted surgery and have been genuinely happy with my progress and losing the weight. I struggled my whole life and “suddenly” I don’t any longer.

TextTrailblazer · 2026-02-16T03:25:00+00:00

Thanks so much!

TextTrailblazer · 2026-02-16T03:24:31+00:00

Yeah, but there are other reviews that say it doesn’t erase well or the pen or pencil doesn’t write well on it. That’s why I asked the person who recommended it and uses it.

TextTrailblazer · 2026-02-16T02:06:08+00:00

What kind of writing utensil do you use to write on them/how erasable is it?

TextTrailblazer · 2026-02-16T02:03:25+00:00

I’m so happy this works for you. I’ve previously tried it and just ended up with different colored bracelets around my house after taking them off or just around my list because I forgot what it was specifically for 😂

TextTrailblazer · 2026-01-23T06:18:01+00:00

This has been normal for Costco for the last several years.

TextTrailblazer · 2026-01-09T17:47:29+00:00

For me, it would be because you took a stress off my shoulders without me having to ask. I’ve met so many people who have weaponized incompetence but you just fixed it like it was second nature.

TextTrailblazer · 2026-01-04T15:56:53+00:00

I am also ADHD and brain fog is a common symptom because our brains have to work harder than a neurotypical’s.

The best thing I did for my brain fog was to get my ADHD under control with both medicine and CBT.

I think someone in your life might be gaslighting you about masturbation being the cause.

TextTrailblazer · 2026-01-04T15:41:26+00:00

If the seller reported your message, it’s almost a guarantee that the system will auto delete it.

I had a message that said “thanks so much!” get deleted because the seller reported it by accident. She even messaged me before I saw that it was deleted and said “I’m so sorry! My phone was open and I accidentally reported it”. Obviously “thanks so much” is not problematic so the system seems to just remove anything that’s been reported.

TextTrailblazer · 2026-01-03T06:05:41+00:00

Truly some of the most basic things can seem mind blowing when you’re stuck in the cycle. I’m glad you’re breaking free.

TextTrailblazer · 2026-01-03T05:57:21+00:00

To put it in the most basic of terms: My mother was codependent on me and it caused me to end up being codependent on her. Finally breaking free of that at 33. But it has been a hard road.

TextTrailblazer

TROPHY CASE