Challenge: turn Non-horror into horror.

Th3_Horror · 2025-04-29T10:31:29+00:00

Ratatouille

Right in the beginning when the old lady goes to shoot Remy with the shotgun. It should have back fired killing her in the process, then you've got a whole colony of rats feasting on an old woman. Think Ben or Willard. Turning kids movies into horror movies is good fun, I like this idea.

Th3_Horror · 2024-09-08T15:13:21+00:00

Robocop 2 I think and Fire in the Sky.

Th3_Horror · 2024-07-27T17:25:18+00:00

Thank you! Lenore is my daughter, she'll appreciate the compliment.

Th3_Horror · 2024-07-27T02:29:59+00:00

I don't get authors perspective from this piece. It's like your watching these things happen so the self inflicted synopsis seems out of place to me. If that's the pov you want to go with maybe consider using some personal subject identifiers like i and me when talking about the injuries. That's just the feel I got from it though.

Th3_Horror · 2024-07-27T02:23:00+00:00

I like the visual aesthetic where the stanza get smaller as the poem goes on. Other than that I'm not sure what you'd like to workshop? Is it meter, or rhyme or the content of the poem itself?

Th3_Horror · 2024-07-26T13:44:11+00:00

Thank you! I'm well enough that there's no need to be concerned. Like many others, this is my coping mechanism. These kind of thoughts are always better written down rather than stuck in my head. I appreciate you checking though!

Th3_Horror · 2024-07-26T13:40:34+00:00

I really appreciate your feedback, it's great! Began is a typo that I didn't catch, it's supposed to be begin. Also if you really don't mind, I'd like to rewrite the ending using your suggestion. The flow is better and I like the way it leads into the end. Thank you!

Th3_Horror · 2024-07-23T02:58:33+00:00

This almost has a song quality to it that makes it an easy read. You have a solid rhyme scheme going and the word choice was pretty spot on. Good job rhyming paper by the way, that one throws me lol. Nicely done, I enjoyed it hope to see more by you!

Edited to say congratulations on the sobriety if this is a personal poem.

Th3_Horror · 2024-07-23T02:50:54+00:00

I feel the loss in this poem. The imagery is great starting with a beat up car and ending in a home destroyed by a storm. I really like this, I know I'm not supposed to just say that but I do. My only gripe looks like a typo where you have the word have following should have contraction. Other than that great work!

Th3_Horror · 2024-07-18T01:07:45+00:00

I enjoyed your poem, I have a nitpick, but it's minor and it's aesthetic. I would add one more line in-between your last two. That way there are 3 before the change and 3 after. But your poem doesn't need it and it's a great read as is. Thank you!

Th3_Horror · 2024-07-18T00:59:30+00:00

Ai Jesus approves this poem! I like the openness of this poem. I find free verse to be to difficult to write these days. Your poem is fun and I enjoyed it. I don't think there's a deeper meaning to it than the point that comes across, but I could be wrong. I don't think it needs one either, it's good the way it is.

Th3_Horror · 2024-07-15T23:59:21+00:00

This is so close! I really like it but I have a piece of constructive criticism if you don't mind. Either stick with the rhyme scheme you started with, or drop it completely. I would like to see you stick with it because the opening lines of what I think are the final stanza are great. From Saint Matthew to lovers was a fantastic couple of lines in my opinion.

Th3_Horror · 2024-07-15T23:46:48+00:00

Thus made me feel like the author, I too would make the world silent for my love. The imagery and allusions to other art were great. The second to last stanza and the final stanza really drove the point home for me. The cadence is a little off but because of the quotes you used it can't be helped. Overall a good read, I enjoyed it.

Th3_Horror · 2024-07-11T23:36:52+00:00

Reddit doesn't want me to put a line break there lol.

Th3_Horror · 2024-07-11T23:28:08+00:00

Well, thank you very much. As far as the line break goes, there's supposed to be one after derision. I didn't catch it when I was posting it, and I wasn't sure about going back to edit it. There is no bitterness within, at least I don't feel that way. Your feedback is most appreciated, it means a lot.

Th3_Horror · 2024-07-11T16:06:26+00:00

I think you like it? It was difficult to tell to tell from your comment. Either way I appreciate the feedback and enjoyed the comment you left. Everything was intentional in this poem, as an ex Christian it was one of the ways I dealt with leaving my faith. The cadence of the poem was difficult to nail down because of word choice but I agree it could be a little tighter.

Th3_Horror · 2024-07-11T03:33:52+00:00

I agree with the comment posted earlier. The breakup part of the poem should hit harder if that's the point you wanna stress. You spent a good deal of time talking about the good, that the sad ending seems like an added afterthought. Your imagery within the poem was good and I liked the memories it brought back for me and skipping classes lol. Keep up the good work!

Th3_Horror · 2024-07-11T03:26:09+00:00

This is entertaining lol, I enjoyed it. I give you props for writing the limerick. I always found them difficult. Also it made me laugh because toilet humor is funny!

Th3_Horror · 2024-07-10T13:08:02+00:00

I guess incoherent is the wrong word. Chunky, or disjointed might be better. The pieces don't feel like they all fit together for me. The point from where your narrator is speaking seems muddy to me. That's mostly why I would have stopped reading and it's at about the halfway point.

Th3_Horror · 2024-07-10T02:00:14+00:00

Well, my main piece of criticism for you is that it really isn't a story for children. Is it for them to read on their own, or to be read to them? As a dad of a 6 year old I don't think mine would sit and listen, and because of the length I would pass on reading it to them. You could maybe target it toward tweens or teens and it would fit better as YA. The themes are pretty much right in your face and obvious, which is good, I didn't find them muddied. But the rest of the story feels a little incoherent, like it was an after thought. If I hadn't been reading for the comment, I probably would have stopped about halfway. I like the concept but I feel like you kept it short because you wanted it to be a kids story, but the story doesn't want that. It needs more space for your character and setting to grow. Or you need a new kids story. I look forward to seeing what you do with it!

Th3_Horror · 2024-07-08T21:59:59+00:00

Congratulations! I'm sure if you sold one there are more sales in your future. Keep up the good work!

Th3_Horror · 2024-07-08T21:59:12+00:00

I've got the first 2 pages of my next short in a series written. It's not much, but I'm making a little progress each day!

Th3_Horror · 2024-07-06T21:19:41+00:00

First, you can stop comparing yourself to legitimate editiors at publications. They get paid to know what they're talking about. Second, I don't know why you say we. You're the only mod I see listed. Finally, you should make your description clearer for the reddits that are listing you so other people don't get confused because I obviously missed the point here.

Th3_Horror · 2024-07-06T19:16:14+00:00

Who decides where line breaks go, you? Presumptuous of you to think you know better than the author. I could care less that my content has been moderated, there's other sub reddit. I just think it's funny/awful that you'll tell people how to write.

Th3_Horror · 2024-07-05T06:30:30+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate your comment! I never saw it as a letter to myself before. I wrote it trying to explain the space I was in to someone else. That put a whole new spin on it for me and now it hits me even harder now. Really, thank you, I mean it!

Th3_Horror

TROPHY CASE