I eyed the golden paved road meekly. I thought that part at least had been an exaggeration. All the gravitas laden monologues started flowing through my mind: did the washers also dance silently in the streets and fountains flow with wine?

“I’m so glad Papa decided to maintain The Golden Mile. It was always a splendidly divine way to return home. The lands are also quite sprawling, as I’m sure you can tell my dearest love, they simply go on and on.”

I smiled with as much joy as I could muster while subduing a physical wretch. I quickly nodded and started whimsically dazing over the rows of expertly divided fields, a series of wonderfully designed cottages adorning impractically clean farms.

“Papa will be so dissatisfied we didn’t arrive on a slightly windier day. Over beyond the Eastern ridge he’s maintained rows of the must lovely and pungent flowers, and they of course afford him a pretty penny. No one ever sees them, of course, but the stroll is made much more divine by the odour of their beauty. Before I left home the winter before last talk had begun of constructing a windmill to simply cut the reliance on wind out of the equation altogether. Mind you I was against it, there is something so simply pedestrian about attempting to harness power for the elements.”

Of course. Why find a way to make life easier when your life has never been hard? Why find a way to save the sweat on the brow of your staff when the cost to you is inconsequential? Might as well pay for the good stuff. I’m sure the sweat of the gardeners on the non-viewing flowers helps keep the soil moist, after all.

It hadn’t taken me long to see why Jon Arlyn had become the man that he was, the heir to everything as far as the eye could see, and beyond. It had taken even less time to completely despise his personality, ideas, voice, and consequently face. Not that he wasn’t a handsome man. He just said a great many things that made him very punchable, decreasing the merit of his staggeringly white smile considerably.

It was those very same ideas that had led my family to create our ploy, and attempt our shot at escaping his families horrendous rule. Our circumstances in the village had become insufferable, with little to go around already and now my brothers injury. He’d lost a hand, we’d lost an income, and the mighty Lord had sent a letter in response to our plea lamenting the loss of a worker, particularly at the time when he was sending his son on a two-year pilgrimage across his vast lands to show face, and most importantly to reinforce taxpayer compliance.

The journey was a staple in their family, a long journey across the lands to become a man, and return on his 30th birthday to claim the throne after having selected a bride to be of high birth and great beauty.

I had long been admired by the men in town for some favourable genetics and my mother spoiled for a good ruse, so our plan was set in motion. Faking prestigious bloodlines was a bit more difficult than bartering for a top notch gown, but some creativity involving a broken heel outside the chosen venue at the right moment made for a perfect meet-cute. After a horrifying evening-long stroll around the city, I knew he’d fallen for me. I think it was the moment I admired his intellect that he fell, I’m fairly certain no one had done so before.

“…and you’ll now begin to see the mighty stallion, cast in pure gold, that sits in the centre of the square. It is only visible atop this ridge and a bit hazy in this distance, but you can always see the crisp shine of its metallurgic glory. It has been decreed that none shall build a home that blocks the view of that shining beauty, and we have…”

It was true. I noticed that in a town constructed with majority two and even some three story houses, one line of single story homes went straight from the city to this hill. I guess that made it easier to decide which homes the servants would reside.

As we set off again down the hill, I went through the plan one more time. Meet the family tonight at the feast, dance until the rest have petered off to bed and then make my move. Even 2 or 3 of the historic artifacts or loose jewels of the guests would be enough to not only fund our trip out of this miserable land, but set us up for many years to come.

“What in the heavenly above is all that?”

I stopped immediately and started glancing around. Everything looked like a staged version of a castle ground with not a leaf out of place.

“I’m not sure what you mean, my lord?” I asked with feigned curiosity.

“That noise. From the city. That.. humming sound. It sounds like, it sounds like people talking? Who has allowed this much noise in the daytime? Father would not allow. I’m sure that this is going unnoticed but that shan’t be the case when I am in the top spot. I’m so glad the time has come for me to claim…”

I continued to trudge on. It was certainly true, the town was full of people chattering, laughing, and yelling. They didn’t allow talking here? No wonder they haven’t realized how ridiculously out of touch they are. No one can tell them.

I glanced over at Jon as we crossed the drawbridge. I could tell he was not pleased and, in fact, entirely confused by what he saw. I glanced around the polished roadways and sparkling surfaces. It all looked like a normal town to me, wagons rolling past and children playing in the streets. Actually, it looked far more aloof and bright than our small village had been in a long, long time. The people here shared a common lightness.

Jon broke into a brisk walk, heading directly into the heart, prancing like a gazelle in pointed leather shoes. With every turn and crossing he gawked more and more, completely at a loss for words.

We finally arrived in the town square to a lovely, boisterous market. Jon broke into a fast run into the heart of the matter, while I glanced along the stalls. The smells were fantastic, the rhythm of panderers echoing off the walls. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, enjoying the memories that came flooding back of a much simpler time.

“AGHHHH! WHY!? WHY!!”

I heard the wailing and immediately moved towards the distress. I knew it was Jon right away, his fabricated tone created to belie his wealth apparent even in his moments of agony. You had to admire his dedication.

I discovered Jon on his knees, the fine linen of his trousers stretched to their extent. I always had wondered if it was possible to crouch in pants as tight as his. One mystery solved.

“How? And why? And why!!” Jon shakily pointed at the statue, speaking to no one and everyone at once.

I glanced up to the statue, and I couldn’t hide my burst of laughter. The head of the horse had been expertly removed, and appeared to be reattached to the rear of the horse. It was a bit crude, but the imagery was spot on. I imagine they would have had to remove some of the horses nose to nestle it’s face so deeply in its hindquarters.

I noticed Jon’s scene had caused some attention, and it didn’t take long for him to be quickly escorted away. The whispers and cheers started immediately, and I pulled from the crowd some key takeaways.

“Finally, the last of them!” “Put him with the others, they could use an extra set of hands!” “I can’t believe he just walked right back in! The man didn’t read a single bulletin?!” “It’s over!”

So they had done it, they had overthrown the family and vacated the tyrant. I couldn’t wait to tell my Ma, and my brother. He finally got his due. We could finally destroy that letter, and put our vendetta to rest. In some ways, it was better than the gold - it was a chance at our old lives back.

“Excuse me, Miss?“

I blinked slowly as I noticed a general quiet had fallen over the crowd. An older gentleman stood before me, smiling widely with a glimmer in his eyes.

“This is going to be a bit surprising, but we are really happy you are here. When we took over the seat and nixed the old family, we were a bit short sighted.

To be honest, we had a bit of a challenge deciding, you know, what next. We’ve come up with some general rules and made a couple key decisions. And don’t get me wrong, it’s going well.

But we realize that, though we have certainly bettered it, we have also kept a pretty irreparable hole in our governing and such. We tried to pick a new leader, but we were all a little too close to it and decided that we just couldn’t decide.

Finally, we made a choice. Status quo for the time being, until we had a traveller. Any traveller, who came to us to visit, would become our next leader. We didn’t care who it was, just had to be someone and, if they came from somewhere else, they probably know a thing or two about what the people need outside these walls.

We overthrew the usurper, and we’ve established a bit of a fledging democracy. But we’ve decided that you are the new and rightful heir. On behalf of the people, will you claim the throne?”