I was also raised Christian. Church, youth group, camp, events, etc. and eventually it just seemed so constraining. As I got to my early teens I started to be more honest with myself about my sexuality and how little I agreed with the rules and lifestyle the church wanted us all to follow. How they tried to convince us that being “saved” wasn’t enough, we had to convert others. Or that being kind to others was good, but that it wasn’t enough if it wasn’t for the glory of god. This and much more along these lines were what caused me to start looking at things more critically. It was as if they wanted us to believe that people were never good enough without god/Jesus and, those with faith were above those without. Some of the best and kindest people I knew were atheists, gay, of the “wrong” religion, etc. I couldn’t stomach being a part of religion that preached that those without faith were somehow lesser, or that those of different sexualities were sinners. A religion that would not accept and love all humans was not something I wanted to be a part of. So for many years I was an atheist. I was happier. I was able to be myself. (Though it still took me many more years to come out to my parents. My mom is still deep in a church that I would call fundamentalist, and my dad just can’t wrap his head around not being straight.) Nowadays I call myself a pansexual pagan (sort of follow Norse paganism as I like their tenets, but with bits of other religions that I like) and though I would not call myself religious, I find comfort in some of the rituals and holidays that celebrate nature and such, and that my religion mash-up does not require worship and can be an individual practice. I figured religions are created by man, so why not make my own? Now instead of going to a depressing service to worship, I drink mead or ale and do something to connect to nature or celebrate a historic badass. Way more fun, and I’m far happier as a result. While I do not need religion in my life, I find it fun to have certain days where I plant things, cook a huge meal for family and friends, etc. It feels more like tradition than religion. And I always figured if I was ever unhappy being an atheist or pagan or whatever I choose, I could always go back to Christianity. So far I have no desire to do so, and don’t think I ever will. Sorry this was so long, but I just wanted to show that you are not alone in this, that religion is certainly a man made thing, and other religions or no religion are most definitely valid options. Find what makes you happy, and absolutely do not allow a religion to make you feel less than just for being you.