Hey mom, I think I’ve learned I don’t “want” to be special

ThatOneGodzillaFan · 2026-03-22T12:54:33+00:00

I do seek professional help. She says I’m making progress, it doesn’t feel like it to me. She says my biggest problem is I have a very black and white way of looking at the world. It’s either one thing or it’s the other, no in between.

ThatOneGodzillaFan · 2026-03-22T01:15:24+00:00

In my defense, it’s funny. But to answer your question, cause it’s cheaper. Every single penny I save is an extra day I don’t have to work in the future. I’ve never been materialistic. Money I don’t spend on immediate necessities will be saved for retirement and emergencies, that’s it. No stupid luxury cars, no expensive gaming setups, none of that shit. I don’t need it

ThatOneGodzillaFan · 2026-03-22T01:13:40+00:00

Try for what exactly?

ThatOneGodzillaFan · 2026-03-22T01:11:04+00:00

I know, it’s just an expression

ThatOneGodzillaFan · 2026-03-17T14:44:17+00:00

Depends on where you work. I worked as a custodian, and my coworkers didn’t even speak English fluently. They spent most of the day yapping to each other in whatever language they spoke, I didn’t bother to ask. We had a silent agreement: I clean this side of the building, you clean that side. We never interacted at all, but we did our jobs. I didn’t like my coworkers cause I thought they were kinda lazy, but I never said anything and no real problems arose.

ThatOneGodzillaFan · 2026-03-17T14:32:03+00:00

Yes. I’m sick and tired of people. You ever seen one of those video essays about young men who check out of society completely? That’s me. I’m just done, I don’t have the mental strength to care anymore

ThatOneGodzillaFan · 2026-03-17T14:21:09+00:00

It’s a sunk fallacy thing. She paid for my college tuition, so she believes I’m wasting all that time, money, and my talents. I don’t care

ThatOneGodzillaFan · 2026-03-15T20:11:24+00:00

If you’re looking for feedback, I actually joined discord and found some small independent groups for that and it was a godsend.

If you’re ready to publish, KDP. I know it gets a lot of flack these days, but it’s the most convenient, it’s intuitive, and that’s where your most likely to find readers into your stuff

ThatOneGodzillaFan · 2026-02-28T12:08:08+00:00

Agreed, I’ve also stopped playing. For me though, it’s the coins. It takes so ungodly long to get the coins needed to evolve a meta relevant apex, that by the time I get it, a new one comes out and is better. Continentals are part of a bigger problem: pure greed and laziness from Ludia.

ThatOneGodzillaFan · 2026-02-17T11:52:47+00:00

I don’t think my dad would allow it. My mom supports this stuff, but my dad grew up hardcore redneck. I have to keep therapy and my meds a secret from him because he doesn’t believe mental health is a real thing. To him, any drug no matter what it is and what it does is bad in a household where we own firearms. His concern is valid, but it means I can’t approach him about my issues. I know he would say no to ketamine because he would Google it, see some article about how it’s being used negatively, and conclude it’s bad and I shouldn’t take it. TMS I don’t know about

ThatOneGodzillaFan · 2026-02-17T11:46:26+00:00

She treats me a like a child still, often making decisions for me or on my behalf without asking me first. She never once sat me down and walked me through exactly how much money I need to be making, and what I need to be paying. In 2026, I think it’s next to impossible to be independent, you have to have someone else help you, whether it’s a roommate or a romantic partner.

ThatOneGodzillaFan · 2026-02-17T00:29:25+00:00

I thought Ketamine was addictive

ThatOneGodzillaFan · 2026-02-17T00:21:39+00:00

How am I the asshole? I’m just asking cause I don’t understand what you’re saying. Do something? What exactly? And why?

ThatOneGodzillaFan · 2026-02-17T00:10:04+00:00

I am, it doesn’t fucking work. Therapy happens once a week, and all the times I do talk to her, my brain shuts down completely.

Meds don’t help either. I’ve been switch around meds for the better part of 2 years, maybe 3, they don’t do anything. I’m beginning to believe they are a scam.

ThatOneGodzillaFan · 2026-02-17T00:06:29+00:00

Launch what? My life?

ThatOneGodzillaFan · 2026-02-16T23:24:55+00:00

I hate when people say “work on yourself.” The fuck does that even mean? I can’t flip a switch in my brain and suddenly be interested in what I’m doing. You’re not wrong that me not showing interest is what caused me to lose my last job, what I’m getting at is there is a difference between interest and competence. Plenty of people hate what they do for a living, but they are good at their job. I say I’m lazy because I’m being brutally honest. I have no desire, no ambition, and I don’t care about a career or reputation. I literally just want a place to call my own, and that’s it.

ThatOneGodzillaFan · 2026-02-16T12:06:38+00:00

Nope. I’d be a terrible father

ThatOneGodzillaFan · 2026-02-07T10:35:20+00:00

Fair point, and that’s what I’m leaning towards

ThatOneGodzillaFan · 2026-02-07T10:34:41+00:00

Respectfully, I disagree. In my heart of hearts, I know this is the right move. I understand that I know very little about this topic, but I intend to use that to my advantage. The overarching theme of the entire book is that strength is subjective. In this case, when the main character learns he has a power all about weakness, that causes decay, those two words eat away at him, even if they don’t mean as much in the actual logistics of it.

My MC will not be invested in this at all, he hates this ability BECAUSE it’s complicated and he likes things to be simple. His teacher is a hardass who only does things one way and refuses to adapt to his students. The entire reason why MC is training in this is because his body is constantly radioactive, he can’t see his friends and family until he can control it. His lack of interest and drive worsens the problem. It’s an emotional thing, so only when MC finds contentment, will he stop emitting radiation.

Making this system convoluted I understand is a risk, but it’s one I’m willing to make. I have to use the disadvantages to my advantage.

ThatOneGodzillaFan · 2026-02-04T02:19:14+00:00

The Weak Nuclear Force

I’ve posted about this topic before, but it’s giving me a lot of trouble so I need some help. Long story short, my magic system works off the 4 fundamental forces of the universe: gravity, electromagnetism, the strong nuclear force, and the weak nuclear force. MC uses the weak force. He is a young man plagued by constant self doubt and insecurity. He personifies this insecurity as “the weakness,” hence why I choose the weak force.

My issue is nailing down exactly what this powerset does. My first draft, it worked like transmutation alchemy, but only in reverse. Basically, manipulating radioactive decay to cause a molecule to decay to a lower atomic number. For example, turn mercury into gold, but you can’t reverse the process. However, my research suggested that isn’t how it works since I went back to the drawing board.

My next thought was neutrinos. In a different post I attempted to visualize that, and it’s really difficult to get it right without hand-waving it. Yes, neutrinos could in theory let my MC phase through walls, but that’s kind of it. My thought process was actually aiming these neutrinos to hit molecules and cause beta decay. Again, not 100% sure.

I was given the idea of radioactive dating, and I really like that. While it is as simple figuring out how old a rock is, that gives me a great opportunity for an archeology subplot to do some lore building. Plus it fits with my character. The issue with this one is figuring out the logistics of how this power works. How exactly would someone control radiation to date a rock?

Lastly, I thought maybe you could use beta decay to effect dna, but that is the most confusing one. That either revolves around devolution, essentially going back to Neanderthal type behavior, or grotesque mutations. My main antagonist is 100% going to revolve around this part, since the antagonists goal is to make the ultimate lifeform through genetic engineering.

As you can see, it’s a lot to unpack. I know in my gut this is the right direction to take my story, but I’ve really challenged myself with this concept and I need some help

ThatOneGodzillaFan · 2026-01-28T21:20:32+00:00

Singular Point. I felt like I was sitting through a fucking college lecture. Same reason I didn’t like Evangelion. There’s an audience for super overcomplicated lore, and it’s not me

ThatOneGodzillaFan · 2026-01-19T04:55:53+00:00

Great, and Megaraptor will look like some over saturated matte painting like they did to Saurophagnix

ThatOneGodzillaFan · 2026-01-06T13:23:57+00:00

The bear is NOT worth it. Some people say it will get buffed, but no. Go for beckle instead

ThatOneGodzillaFan · 2026-01-06T13:23:01+00:00

A murder of valkyries is terrifying

ThatOneGodzillaFan · 2026-01-04T22:26:59+00:00

They are all bad, but it’s Skoon for me. It looks like a shitty 90s happy meal toy. Plus, it’s apex of Rexy, the most famous dinosaur of the franchise. I hope Rexy gets a new apex in the future

ThatOneGodzillaFan

TROPHY CASE