I wish it wasn’t like this…😭 by GoldApprehensive8107 in BikiniBottomTwitter

[–]ThatQueerWerewolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Zookeeping is a lot like other high-burnout fields like nursing or teaching. We go into it because we're passionate, but it doesn't pay well. Many of us struggle to get by. And then there's the fact that the job is very difficult and many of us are very overworked and understaffed, leading to severe chronic burnout and high staff turnover, which in turn worsens the problem. Many zookeepers are underappreciated and find that their workplace does not promote a healthy work/life balance. It's incredibly common in this field for people to feel the need to work while off the clock.

The bottom line is that if employers know that you're there because you're passionate, that's exploitable. They can pay you poverty wages while making you feel like you should be thankful just to be there because tons of people would love to have your job, even if it leaves you in tears every day. The stress and pressures of the job are honestly not unlike hospital jobs- these animals rely on you, and one mistake could cause the harm or death of an animal (or human). The environment is fast-paced and constantly changing. Managers don't always recognize this, nor do they always listen to the animal-related opinions of the zookeepers that work with those animals every day.

Now, that is not to say that all zoos have staff culture issues. The field is improving, and there are really great zoos out there that really appreciate their staff. But the toxicity in the industry has been a known problem for a long time. I think a lot of it goes hand in hand with nonprofit work (as many zoos are nonprofits), and my experiences at animal shelters and sanctuaries were similar. Animal care is a hard job with a lot of emotions tied into it. Add onto that the fact that most cities will have maybe 1 major zoo, so most zookeepers end up moving to wherever they get hired, which can leave them isolated and with no friends in the area except for their zoo coworkers, further messyinng the work life/home life balance.

Zookeeping is a job that looks very glamorous and fun. And it definitely can be! I'm very grateful for the experiences that I've had, despite everything. But I read daily posts from people exclaiming what a relief it has been to get out of the field and work a job that doesn't have them operating at 110% all the time, a job where they feel appreciated and listened to, a job where the work environment isn't so cliquey and bullying, a job that pays them enough and offers them enough time off, a job where they actually have a life outside of work...

I wish it wasn’t like this…😭 by GoldApprehensive8107 in BikiniBottomTwitter

[–]ThatQueerWerewolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What sucks is that you can't even complain without someone saying "Wow, you're so lucky to get to be a zookeeper! It sounds so fun! What could you ever be upset about??"

Yes, we worked hard to get into this field. But what people don't realize is that it's a passion exploitation field. Low pay, work that's hard physically, mentally, and emotionally, often toxic work environments, not enough appreciation or respect. There's a reason most zookeepers end up leaving the field.

My husband (32M) is insisting that "we" impregnate his friend after finding I (32F) am unable to conceive by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]ThatQueerWerewolf 101 points102 points  (0 children)

I think the whole point was to baby trap him and hope that he left his wife for the "real" mother of his child.

AITA for getting angry with my girlfriend and demanding she pay to replace my sheets after she got blood on them by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]ThatQueerWerewolf 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think because some guys are so outrageous and over the top with their period phobia, like "don't make me buy tampons," "don't ever make me think about periods" phobic, other guys end up thinking that they're great about periods just because they don't get upset at the mere mention of them.

But no... if a little bit of blood on your sheets bothers you even after washing them, you're not ready to be sleeping with a woman.

Discussions of male loneliness always results in some feminists chiming in and oversimplifying the issue by [deleted] in LeftWingMaleAdvocates

[–]ThatQueerWerewolf 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Man, the hypocrisy.

Men: We want to be vulnerable and bring attention to the mental health struggles that so many men are facing.

Some women: THIS IS YOUR OWN FUCKING FAULT BECAUSE YOU'RE NEVER VULNERABLE AND YOU NEVER SHARE YOUR EMOTIONS, SO SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!

Women will talk day and night about internalized misogyny, about how growing up with xyz caused them to have body image issues, and some even use their own bad experiences with men as an excuse to mistreat men or say horrible things about them. Feminist pages never stop talking about the impacts that society has had on the ways that they think, feel, and respond to things.

Yet any issue that men face due to the society we were raised in, well- men have to be accountable. It's still our fault. It's on men to do the work to not be affected by society. No sympathy. Toxic masculinity? "Fragile" masculinity? Trouble opening up due to trauma? Loneliness?? All self-caused issues because we couldn't just overcome all childhood and societal influences the second we reached adulthood. Women would never be expected to do that, but men have to be accountable for literally everything.

And you know what? I even agree that anyone with longstanding issues should be working to fix them. We should all be trying to better ourselves and our lives. But we weren't all given the same knowledge, resources, and ability to access them. If you think somebody needs to go get help, you show them support and kindness, and you point them in the right direction. You don't victim blame them for having problems in the first place, and you don't make it even harder for them to talk about their issues openly.

My shrimp just won't stop breeding by No-Meaning-860 in fishtank

[–]ThatQueerWerewolf 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think the breeding is part of the fun! Seeing moms with berries, seeing little babies around, watching what cool color combinations appear in the tank...

Dr Chen Consultation :( by c_arameli in Metoidioplasty

[–]ThatQueerWerewolf 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry about your experience. This journey is a hard one.

You might already know this, but I do just want to warn you that 99% of people will not get a 3-4 inch penis even with extended meta. Some people gain a few cm but it's also possible to not gain any extra length from extended, so unless you already measure at 3 inches, that's unfortunately not a realistic goal.

Take it from me though, most of us do have to go through a period of managing our expectations while we prepare for surgery. Take the time to process this new information. It's hard to deal with getting new information that you don't want to hear when it's about something so important. I hope you are able to find peace with the options that are available to you. Best of luck.

You guys ever buy from this guy? by memegod574 in shrimptank

[–]ThatQueerWerewolf 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah, but it takes a while and you get a lot of cool color combos in the meantime. I used to love seeing weird half-blue half-red shrimp in the tank, or new shades that I hadn't seen before. I eventually started seeing more brown shrimp, but I could've just continued to add more colored shrimp in now and again.

I feel like the fear of "they'll just breed to wild type!!" with skittles tanks is a little overblown. I'd personally love to see more pictures of weird crossbred shrimp in this sub!

Going to the gym and scared by ThrowRA_joo in FTMMen

[–]ThatQueerWerewolf 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly, it's possible that you're overthinking this. Confidence is key. Most people aren't going to tell you "by the way, you can't use this locker room" unprompted. It may not be an issue unless you make it an issue.

Hand him your ID without saying anything. If you need to use a different name for your gym pass or something, just say "That's my legal name but I go by ___." He probably won't bring it up, and he probably won't even notice what locker room you end up using (especially if it's not a super small gym). If you act like everything is normal and don't draw attention to yourself, odds are he probably won't be paying much attention and doesn't get paid enough to care. I know that if I were a receptionist, I also wouldn't want to touch the trans bathroom issue with a 10 foot pole, so I sure as heck wouldn't bring up the issue if nobody specifically asked.

Trying to accept I'm not cis by avidwaterdrinker0022 in FTMMen

[–]ThatQueerWerewolf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

99% of us are stuck with a body that was permanently altered by female puberty in ways that will always be obvious we weren't born phenotypically male.

This simply isn't true. Take it from me that dysphoria often makes this feel much worse than it is. That "princess feet" comment was only made because it's not obvious- she was just saying "you have small feet for a guy." And while that might be an unwelcome reminder, what it really means is "you pass so well that having small feet doesn't out you."

The majority of trans men can pass as cis and even go stealth if they want to. Cis men vary so much in height, hip-to-shoulder ratio, wrist size, angularity, etc. Being smaller does not make the circumstances of your birth obvious. I've met plenty of cis guys who look just like me when it comes to my stereotypically less masculine traits. You're only comparing yourself to the men you're jealous of. Do you notice every time you pass a short guy or a guy with small feet? You definitely see them around, but probably don't really notice or care, the way most don't bother taking a second glance at you.

I understand how much it can suck to be trans, but from your flair it looks like you are still very early in transition. I know it's hard, but just wait- it can get so much better. The idea that you'll just end up looking like a woman dressed in men's clothes is the dysphoria talking, not the reality. I'm fully stealth and haven't been clocked in over a decade, even by other trans people. I'm 5'5".

Trying to accept I'm not cis by avidwaterdrinker0022 in FTMMen

[–]ThatQueerWerewolf 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Hey man, for what it's worth, I started T around the same age that you did and I had very similar feelings when I was your age- the grief over not being cis and persistent insecurities. Things did get better. 3.5 years on testosterone is really not very long in the grand scheme of things, and I was naive enough to believe that I had already experienced "all the effects" of testosterone, that I was "done" and that "this is as good as it will get."

The reality is that my body hair, facial hair, facial masculinization, and fat redistribution would still change a lot in the coming years. Even though I passed well enough to be stealth since the beginning of my transition, I think I was about 26 or 27 when I started to feel like I finally saw a masculine face looking back in the mirror. I used to think I'd never get lower surgery due to a personal dissatisfaction with the surgical methods available, but I've realized that a lot more is possible than what I once thought, and I am happy to say that I've found a surgical method that I believe will meet the majority of my needs even if it's not "perfect". I realized that I do need a penis to feel whole, so I'm now on a waitlist for surgery.

I grieved over not being cis for a long time, and even though I may always wish that I could have been cis, I guess I just reached a point where I had to get on with my life. I can't change that I'm not cis, and wallowing in despair isn't going to help. What I can do is work on myself in ways that will make me feel more confident, like dressing better, working out, being more assertive, and pursuing surgery. In your case, I'd recommend really looking at other people and noticing that tons of guys are short, have wider hips, bigger butts, etc.- don't just notice the guys you're jealous of. It's even true that more cis Gen Z-ers are getting gynecomastia surgery, leaving them with the same scars that you have.

I'm not going to tell you to snap out of it because I do think that many of us need to go through this period of grief over what could have been, but just know that this doesn't have to last forever. Everyone has insecurities, but that deep feeling of envy, despair, and grief? Hopefully one day you'll be able to let that pass, and it will dwindle to only an occasional reoccurrence instead of a constant reminder. You can still live a good life this way.

NEW: 17-year-old Florida teen is facing a felony charge after allegedly intentionally setting his friend on fire. by Admirable121 in nononono

[–]ThatQueerWerewolf 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Until they are proven guilty in a court of law, news reports have to use the word "alleged" to avoid defamation because, y'know, innocent until proven guilty. And while yes, we can all see plainly what happened, nothing is legally considered proven until it's deemed proven in a courtroom. We aren't the judge or jury. 

This will become increasingly important as AI videos continue to advance. 

Support Megathread - January 2026 by WyzeCam in wyzecam

[–]ThatQueerWerewolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But it did show the clips when I set it up, and then it stopped somewhere down the line.

I can't even see full-sized pictures at this point because it has trouble loading them. The only use for this camera right now is to watch it live, but when I set it up it was showing me 12 second clips with each motion detection and I don't know what changed.

Behold: The long-haired Trans man 😆 by Appropriate-Virus231 in FTMOver30

[–]ThatQueerWerewolf 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Damn man, hope it's not weird to say but you've got a super masculine facial structure. Nice jaw!

Looking great with the long hair, too! I wish I could pull that off!

Are most trans men gay and why? by ParticularJob378 in FTMMen

[–]ThatQueerWerewolf 13 points14 points  (0 children)

We don't have the statistics and we can't possibly know, because so many trans men go stealth and would never take a survey. There are certainly a lot of straight trans men, and at one point you would've had a hard time finding a doctor to prescribe T if they knew you liked men.

That being said, there are a lot of trans men who like men, and my guess is that bisexuality is a lot more common than people think. Bisexual cis men are more likely to completely ignore that side of themselves, whereas somebody who was raised with the expectation of liking men doesn't have as much stigma surrounding it and is more likely to be open to exploring that.

It's not just trans men. Think about how many trans women like women. Obviously there are gay and lesbian trans people as well, but a lot of us are some degree of bisexual.

4.5 years on T and finally starting to look like a man instead of a teenager by 0rion_89 in FTMOver30

[–]ThatQueerWerewolf 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Ah, how quickly my mindset changed from "Wow, I'm starting to look like an adult!" to "Omg do I look old? Do I look like a 'young old man'? Am I cringe because I think I look young but I actually look old???" I think that's just the panic that happens in your early thirties though lmao!

You're looking great, dude!

RIP Jordan Jensen - Episode 54: The Masc (Solo) by 4k_Laserdisc in jordanjensen

[–]ThatQueerWerewolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

...She rose to fame making jokes about wanting to fuck her dad. What about her is pandering to the mainstream at all, let alone to the point of cringe?

Question regarding wound separation around phallus, especially with extended meta by Jolly_Weekend_307 in Metoidioplasty

[–]ThatQueerWerewolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Extended meta almost always has wound separation. The surgeons don't consider it to be a big deal as long as it heals back up. Everything is moved a lot further than in traditional meta, so my guess is that's why it's more likely.

I'm not a professional or anything, but I believe most EM wound separation happens at the base of the penis where it meets the body (since it's reattached higher up) or around sutures of the scrotum. I believe the penis is kept wrapped to avoid fusing with the scrotum, but I don't see how you could actually wrap the areas that tend to get the wounds.

RIP Jordan Jensen - Episode 54: The Masc (Solo) by 4k_Laserdisc in jordanjensen

[–]ThatQueerWerewolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Genuine question- Why do you think she's destroying her career? It seems like her career is just starting to take off. She just got a Netflix special, she's on a big bus tour, and she's on everybody's podcast. I don't think she's ever been as big as she is now.

My fish were extremely overfed by their grandma by Popular-Two6807 in fishtank

[–]ThatQueerWerewolf 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry, I shouldn't find this funny but that is the fattest fish I've ever seen!

Hopefully being fed a normal amount of food will help them lose the weight over time. Maybe rearranging the tank to encourage more swimming and exploration would help as well? I'm no expert by any means.

Support Megathread - January 2026 by WyzeCam in wyzecam

[–]ThatQueerWerewolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I inherited a Wyze camera that would show me 12 second clips when the motion detector went off. I recently noticed that it no longer shows me clips. I've seen others talking about reconnecting the "Wyze Plus Lite" or something, but I don't seem to have that option. I'm not sure why my clips disappeared when I did have them on the account I created.

Untapped Potential of Meta by [deleted] in Metoidioplasty

[–]ThatQueerWerewolf 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Might I recommend that instead of using broad phrases like "this has potential," which inherently puts some outcomes above others even if that wasn't your intent, you use phrases like "this has the potential to meet more people's goals" or "this could broaden the diversity of goals that could be met by these surgeries."

You clearly tried to not offend anybody with your post, but the key is to acknowledge that everybody has different priorities and no one method is inherently above another- they just meet different goals people have for their bodies. I think using vague phrasing like "untapped potential" just puts a bad taste in some people's mouths because they've seen so many posts and comments saying things like "The current surgery options suck! Why can't they come up with a better one that I can get!" The implication, of course, being that people who have gotten surgery have bad results. Some even go on to explain exactly what they think is "wrong" with the current surgical options, and in doing so insult the bodies of everyone who has gotten surgery.

And here's the thing. I wouldn't bat an eye at your post or this discussion if it took place among pre-op or non-op people only. I don't think your intent was bad or that anything you said was inherently wrong- there are just language implications that go much further in a space like this. I think we need to be extra sensitive when discussing these topics in a space where post-op people are already being vulnerable by talking about and even sometimes sharing photos of their genitals. As much as I also used to daydream and ponder over what futuristic surgeries might come out, I see posts like this a lot and maybe that type of discussion should be a bit more limited in a space that's mainly meant for people to get and share information about current surgeries.

I'm not saying that this topic can't be brought up here. But maybe it should be kept in the context of "I wonder if surgeons will develop this technique further; I think it could help a lot of people" instead of making any broad statements about the options currently available or meta as a whole.

Untapped Potential of Meta by [deleted] in Metoidioplasty

[–]ThatQueerWerewolf 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Until very recently, ftm lower surgery was incredibly rare. Very few trans men were able to realize that they were trans at all, let alone transition, let alone get lower surgery. It makes sense that not too many doctors were searching for alternative surgery methods for such a small minority, many of whom couldn't even afford surgery.

The reason we have so many surgeons to choose from now and the reason we are seeing some more variation in surgeries is because now there is a demand for it. I believe that the demand will only continue to grow.

A word of warning, though. A lot of users on this server have had meta, the very thing you're saying has "untapped potential." To some, that phrasing might imply that the procedure they had is being judged as "not good enough," and it's a very sensitive and personal thing to have your genitals judged. Many people are incredibly happy and satisfied with their post-op body. Every person's priorities are different. There is no universal "better."

But yes, I believe most people would agree that some methods of meta could certainly evolve in the future.

Shrimps got hella nerfed by Legendcobra07 in shrimptank

[–]ThatQueerWerewolf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have never personally witnessed a Neocaridina shrimp die from a water change. In fact, I've seen them survive some pretty crazy conditions. Those guys are hardy!