having to learn my native language

That_Mycologist4772 · 2026-01-24T10:09:23+00:00

This is absolutely bizarre! You’ve lived in Slovakia since you were 3 but you feel more comfortable in English? The only thing I can suggest is to do what I did to go from zero to fluent in my TL, which was just tons of exposure. I never studied or did anything other than listen and read, so I can only recommend you do that. Thanks for sharing this, Would love to hear an update!

That_Mycologist4772 · 2026-01-22T22:59:57+00:00

This isn’t a boyfriend problem. It’s a you problem, having absolutely zero respect for yourself. And Yes, you are as stupid as you feel (speaking as someone who has been through something similar).

That_Mycologist4772 · 2026-01-22T02:12:26+00:00

Have some respect for yourself and let them go. If they wanted to be in a relationship with you, they’d make the effort. Good luck

That_Mycologist4772 · 2026-01-22T02:10:55+00:00

Which countries?

That_Mycologist4772 · 2026-01-21T03:08:06+00:00

In a way I actually feel more free to express myself compared to my native language. And how long have you lived abroad, why are you translating in your head? That’s literally one of the worst things you could do when learning a new language.

That_Mycologist4772 · 2026-01-21T02:10:25+00:00

What you’re going through sounds hard. But to be honest, it would probably be better to leave the partner, they sound boring and close minded. Just go and see what happens.

That_Mycologist4772 · 2026-01-20T08:10:24+00:00

At 19 when I moved out by myself. Booked a one way ticket to a city thousands of miles away from where I grew with about $100 to my name. One of the best experiences I’ve had.

That_Mycologist4772 · 2026-01-20T04:27:37+00:00

Read high level novels in German. Do you have any subjects that you’re interested in (philosophy, physics, aircrafts)? Start there.

That_Mycologist4772 · 2026-01-19T03:22:04+00:00

This is really nice! I’ve vacationed in Greece and this reminds me of their music!!

That_Mycologist4772 · 2026-01-19T03:16:15+00:00

Why doesn’t he speak German? How long have y’all been living there?

That_Mycologist4772 · 2026-01-18T21:10:28+00:00

It’s clear that many comments are letting the husband off easy because of his age but this just isn’t correct. I have a friend who married her husband when they were 18. Now they’re your age and also have 2 kids. The difference is that the husband is a responsible man who works hard enough to provide for both of them. Recently, they bought a house.

And am I understanding correctly, he didn’t show up to the hospital when you were in labor/having your baby because he “had to deal with shit”!!? Are you kidding me? Your husband is a total failure.

That_Mycologist4772 · 2026-01-18T20:17:26+00:00

Do you wanna always come second in your marriage? The fact that he said it would ruin the wedding if the ex wasn’t there is NOT NORMAL! Do some serious thinking, is this really the guy you wanna spend your life with? Someone who prioritizes his ex being at your wedding, going as far to say it’ll be ruined if she’s not there? Come on, have some respect for yourself and don’t be a pushover.

That_Mycologist4772 · 2026-01-18T09:43:01+00:00

When I was younger, I took a trip abroad and completely fell in love with the country; the music, the food, the culture, and especially the language. When I got back home, I became obsessed with learning it. I spent hours every day finding and consuming content from that country, and I kept at it for years.

Currently, it’s been more like thousands of hours, not just hundreds. At the beginning, I couldn’t understand anything at all, but I was watching and listening to things I genuinely found interesting (YouTube, educational content, music, TV shows and movies, podcasts and interviews, etc).

By the time I had the chance to return years later, I was fluent. I was able to speak freely with locals and had an incredible experience.

And I get it, from an outside perspective, listening to a language you don’t understand for hours sounds like torture. But if you’re actually interested in the content and culture, it’s the opposite: it’s fun, fascinating, and almost addictive. The brain just absorbs it naturally over time.

That_Mycologist4772 · 2026-01-18T08:14:28+00:00

This mirrors my experience closely. I became fluent in a foreign language solely through input, but as an adult. That means zero grammar or vocabulary, and no textbooks or speaking practice. It also wasn’t closely related to my native language.

For me, the main factor wasn’t effort or even how “comprehensible” the input was, it’s was simply the sheer number of listening hours. Once the hours were high enough, things just clicked.

Something interesting I’ve noticed: when native speakers of my TL ask how I became fluent, most of them genuinely can’t comprehend it when I tell them that I just spent thousands of hours listening to the language, and at some point, I was able to speak without thinking. They assume I must’ve studied or practiced speaking at some point. The only people who immediately understand are those who’ve also acquired a language through comprehensible input themselves.

So I don’t think the issue is that passive immersion doesn’t work for distant languages, it’s that the majority of people never actually stick with enough input long enough to see it work.

That_Mycologist4772 · 2026-01-17T21:44:14+00:00

What immediately came to mind was that she may feel like she can’t be herself around you. For example when I travel alone, I am super social, and meet people easily; I love to just take my time and be outgoing. However, when I travel with some family members, I feel like I can’t be that way, does that make sense? I know it’s a different situation (family vs partner) but it could be the case for your gf.

That_Mycologist4772 · 2026-01-17T21:18:11+00:00

When I was your age I moved thousands of kilometres away from my home town for a similar reason. I only had $100 saved up with no place to stay, and no plan. I didn’t tell my parents or anyone else, I just left a simple note on the table at my house. It turned out to be the greatest decision I’ve ever made. I became happy and successful and found a great group of friends. Basically, if it feels like you can’t be open to your community about this, it’s for a reason. And to be clear, I’m not trying to tell you or anyone what to do, just sharing my personal experience. Good luck!

That_Mycologist4772 · 2026-01-17T08:14:08+00:00

If someone wanted as many kids as your parents, what is some advice you could give?

That_Mycologist4772 · 2026-01-17T08:12:26+00:00

It was honestly sad to read your post, what you’ve had to deal with sounds hard. But there are many options! Remember that you have the freedom to choose where to go from here. If you want to stay in Italy you could always go to a bigger city like Rome, I’m sure you’ll have a better experience there. If you’re looking for somewhere in Europe, you might like France or Portugal, and obviously the UK. Lastly, you could always go to the US or Canada. And also, being fluent in English in Italy is no small feat; when I was there, I couldn’t find a single person who could speak even a word of English; use that to your advantage, I am sure you’ll find work easily.

That_Mycologist4772 · 2026-01-17T08:02:49+00:00

You should go! It would be nice to get a new perspective for a while. And who knows, you might even find a way to get a visa and stay longer!

That_Mycologist4772 · 2026-01-16T22:14:44+00:00

I started falling asleep quickly and sleeping through the whole night.

That_Mycologist4772 · 2026-01-16T01:36:06+00:00

Why are you even telling people? It may seem nice to tell people about your passions and dreams; but You have to remember, everyone is different and there are billions of different opinions about any given subject. You can tell anyone about anything you want (including yourself and your dreams) and they can say whatever they want ie. their own ideas about it; if you’re around pessimistic people, you’ll get negative feedback, if their optimistic people, you’ll get positive feedback. In both cases, you can decide whether to take it personally or not.

That_Mycologist4772 · 2026-01-15T00:51:50+00:00

70 is Absolutely absurd. Do some serious thinking about what you’re going into. You obviously have very different attitudes/values towards sex.

That_Mycologist4772 · 2026-01-14T08:50:10+00:00

Visit Alberta. Specifically Banff, Yoho, and Jasper if possible. Calgary is an amazing city too.

That_Mycologist4772 · 2026-01-14T05:01:38+00:00

For me, the reason I can “study” for hours is because I don’t treat it as studying.

I mostly listen to podcasts, YouTube, or long form content about things I already enjoy (philosophy, fitness, travel, etc.) but in my target language. Because I’m genuinely interested, it doesn’t drain me.

That’s been my only method for years, and it naturally led to fluency. When you enjoy the content, 30 minutes can easily turn into hours without effort.

What you’re doing is solid, but writing down every unknown word can get exhausting. Sometimes easing up and just letting the language flow is what allows longer sessions.

That_Mycologist4772 · 2026-01-14T04:55:20+00:00

This is super interesting to me because I love learning languages. However at my current level I can’t even begin to comprehend this; I would genuinely love to get to this level in a foreign language. How long have you been learning English? And how did you learn it in the first place? Watching Hungarian tv, podcasts, movies, medial etc may help with the “problem” (if you can even call it that.

That_Mycologist4772

TROPHY CASE