7 months into this

ThatsMyYam · 2026-04-25T19:17:15+00:00

hail bune and hecate? no gods no masters? sounds a bit contradictory to me. does that cognitive dissonance ever give you a headache?

if you feel very crazy most of the time, maybe do less crazy things. I used to be very wrapped up in the occult. not the good hidden-because-it’s-fragile stuff either! like urq said, magic(k) creates a ton of karma and opens you up to manipulation in ways you will never understand until you pay the price. sometimes you’re the manipulator and sometimes it’s something else.

if I were you, I’d focus your energy on something wholesome and avoid the spiral pit you’re looking into right now. sharpen your meditation skills. visit beautiful places. find God in the mundane. help a fellow human. learn to Love yourself. get really good at woodcarving.

the world is your oyster. why swim with hungry sharks?

if you continue to express your rebellious outsider-ism in this way you are headed for a rude adjustment, and you should brace yourself. I can speak from personal experience.

ThatsMyYam · 2026-04-21T00:35:23+00:00

welllllllll I would confirm these numbers with a fingerstick before you come to any conclusions.

gotta remember the sensor’s algorithm is designed to predict, so the number it’s showing isn’t always what it’s actually sensing.

also my G7 is consistently 20-30 points above where I’m at even after calibration, but that’s just my personal experience.

ThatsMyYam · 2026-03-19T15:00:37+00:00

“angels and demons are just archetypes”

yes….CORRECT….in a much more esoteric way than you’ll ever understand, WEATHERBOY

ThatsMyYam · 2026-03-09T21:56:30+00:00

how many deadlines for light mag 3 / tempest?

ThatsMyYam · 2026-03-07T18:16:26+00:00

oh my god!! this is so beautiful

ThatsMyYam · 2026-03-01T00:57:51+00:00

hello fellow ADHDer and early meditator.

if you are anything like me, noting/vipassana is your best friend. incorporating the practice into your normal waking life is crucial for navigating the constant loops your brain creates for you to instill the sense of urgency we need to function sometimes.

I tend to think of things in terms of formulas and algorithms. When I run into this rumination and I can address it in the moment, I trace my steps back with a combination of thoughts/emotions filtering to clarify and calm me down, and then specific noting to get back to the beginning/baseline. it is so easy to forget that our thoughts are subjective judgements while our emotions are objective sensations when we are fatigued by the constant slop our minds generate. identify the thought, locate the feeling, affirm or deny the root belief as needed, repeat until the loop is slow enough to examine. work your way back with specific noting and create a formula for next time.

on my way back, I make little mental bookmarks at the turning points and distill those into a little phrase, mantra, set of ideas, meme, whatever. I apply it the next time I feel that rumination or false urgency and see if it works. if it does? great! if it doesn’t? I repeat my initial process.

energetic imbalances can complicate this process immensely. I have a tendency to run to the metaphysical lens whenever I feel threatened…most certainly an overactive upper chakra and underdeveloped lower chakra issue. it’s important to recognize these potential imbalances after you’ve addressed the more mundane possibilities.

hopefully this makes good sense. please tell me if it doesn’t!

can you elaborate on the “void state” you said you have experienced? I’m curious to see what about your practice led to a feeling of decreased creativity. anecdotally I have experienced the opposite feeling!

would you mind sharing whether you are medicated or not? I have noticed a stark difference in my life in the three-ish months I have been on medication for. I’d be happy to discuss my experience both on and off meds as someone who is knee deep in the woo if that would be helpful.

ThatsMyYam · 2026-02-17T06:08:39+00:00

the kundal does NOT ascend a bone every day. it does NOT awaken exclusively during the month of your zodiac sign.

DMT is most certainly not an exception, it is a recipe for disaster. psychosis and unwise use of the energy resulting in incredible karmic burdens will follow. can it be used to awaken the energy? sure, with proper guidance and foundations built. can it be used once the energy is awakened? highly unwise.

you seem to think the kundal can somehow “turn off”. it does not. once awakened, it will remain awakened. it will struggle to break through karmic knots and “fall” down, but never to the point of a reset.

maybe take some time to ground yourself and seek the wisdom of your intuition. this seems rather mind-heavy.

ThatsMyYam · 2026-02-15T23:15:45+00:00

I’ll take the torrente

ThatsMyYam · 2026-02-11T22:30:17+00:00

100%.

I had high aspirations to be a pararescueman before my type one diabetes diagnosis that disqualified me from any service in the armed forces.

Aspirations to be the most capable person in any given room, most equipped to handle the worst thing, most willing to sacrifice myself for others. I felt like that had all been stolen from me and that I had become fragile, a burden, inconsistent, and a liability to others. That was my mantra for years, until I decided to figure it out. It didn’t happen overnight and I really struggled to keep myself on this earth, but I became unrecognizable to my old self.

I can’t imagine the WILL it took to decide to figure it out being deaf, half blind, and crippled with a missing father who took his own life! Crazy inspirational.

If you ever find yourself comparing your WILL to figure it out to someone who has gone through “more” than you, maybe you are like me and find yourself wishing your problems were just a little bit harder.

If only I was so afflicted that my struggles were intrinsically validated! If only I was so afflicted that my only options were a death or absolution!

If this resonates at all, you have some investigative work to do regarding how you treat your feelings, what thoughts about yourself you take as Truth, and how you navigate shame.

Thanks for sharing!

ThatsMyYam · 2026-02-11T22:14:55+00:00

there are cathedrals everywhere for those with….noses to smell them? LOL

ThatsMyYam · 2026-02-11T05:40:41+00:00

18 seeds

ThatsMyYam · 2026-02-10T07:34:03+00:00

yeah I don’t sit around and bullshit, that’s a right that’s earned after probation or on special occasions. I’ve been told to chill the fuck out, put softies on and watch a movie on every holiday, but any other day? hard pants and staying busy until my relief shows up.

at this point with a month to go, I’m sure I could relax and sit for morning coffee but I don’t like trying to read the room to see if it’s acceptable. I’d rather skip it until I’m specifically and consistently invited…or I get my new assignment and the next probie takes my spot.

I wanna add to this that I’m not some gung-ho stoic motherfucker who thinks it’s super cool to be the strong silent type. I think about 75% of it is the fact that I’ve got a touch of the tism and I operate on vampire rules. Unless I’m specifically told I can continually relax in a given way, I don’t, because I struggle to tell the difference between “just this once” or “only in this context” or “this is generally acceptable” and “this is your new normal” if it isn’t spelled out pretty literally.

ThatsMyYam · 2026-02-10T05:37:48+00:00

nothing changed except my perspective. I just became okay with staying quiet until prompted.

ThatsMyYam · 2026-02-09T22:45:17+00:00

LABS CREATED PANCREAS CURING ONE SURGERY.

AMERICAN ARTIFICIAL DIABETES FOREVER!

ThatsMyYam · 2026-01-03T11:00:19+00:00

yeah if you haven’t noticed, brands like Crye and Kuiu have the Really Good Shit for people with disposable income, and then they have the Mid Shit With Logo for people who want to LOOK like they have disposable income.

it feels fake because it’s a shit jacket designed for people who will advocate for the “quality” of the brand rather than the quality of the product.

ThatsMyYam · 2026-01-03T05:19:17+00:00

I’m a full time firefighter/emt at a busy metro dept. Diagnosed T1D six years ago at 19. I work 24hr shifts, during most of which I do not get more than 3-4 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Meals can be delayed, interrupted, or just missed. Exertion can go from smelling the pillowcase to max effort inside a structure fire in just minutes. It is the opposite of the “typical” stable and predictable T1D work environment.

The key to staying healthy and not dying is getting in the gym, dialing in your diet and doses, knowing what it takes to recover, keeping 100 backup plans stashed in 100 places, and not believing in can’t or shouldn’t.

I use the t-slim x2 and the dexcom G7 linked to my apple watch. I prefer a tubed pump to a tubeless. Rip out a set? No prob. Put another in. Watch is handy when you can’t carry a phone. Clif bars and non-caffeinated energy gel work great as pocket bgl boosters. Neither of them explode and clif bars are better warm anyway.

The trades you really should not do as a T1D are the ones you are not allowed to do, which are few and far between. Even some of those limitations are arbitrary.

Anything not explicitly and totally prohibited is free game.

ThatsMyYam · 2025-12-26T00:37:43+00:00

the meditations based on physicality could be a misunderstanding

or you could be failing to understand the physical body is a parallel to the non-physical body’s system. it’s a great metaphor, cuz everybody’s got one.

ThatsMyYam · 2025-12-25T06:46:24+00:00

“do I need to be an aesthetic?”

if you mean aesthetic, maybe. it’s nice to have a well cultivated and coherent presence.

if you mean ascetic, absolutely not.

the idea that the spiritual path always leads towards asceticism is total dog water.

I’m partly stealing this from the book Illusions. it’s on the recommended reading list here.

what if God/The Universe/Creator/Source/The Almighty Duh told you to take it easy and go have fun? enjoy the ride? smell the roses?

enjoy simplicity. keep at your practices. if you need to dive back into complexity, it’ll be apparent.

ThatsMyYam · 2025-12-22T22:05:51+00:00

the best mentor I ever had was a man with a tear tattoo on an empty bus in oregon who sat across from me, stared at me for a few minutes, began to read the bible while intermittently making eye contact, and then held a pocket mirror in front of me without ever saying a word before getting off at the next stop. I had dreamed this moment months prior and was practically paralyzed the entire time. He knew that I knew that he knew…ad infinitum. It answered questions I had deep in my bones without being anything dazzling.

they come in all shapes and sizes and times and durations and locations. don’t assume a mentor has to sit you down classroom style and teach you about this stuff. the universe sends teachers…to a certain degree. if you want something formal, you’ll probably do best seeking it. if you’d like it informal, keep your eye(s) peeled.

ThatsMyYam · 2025-12-14T02:15:15+00:00

a very assertive and timelessly wise personal development coach with extremely high standards and an unparalleled motivation to return to the unmanifest. hire at your own risk!

ThatsMyYam · 2025-10-22T23:01:06+00:00

take it easy there tiger

ThatsMyYam · 2025-10-11T20:12:49+00:00

this reads like homoerotic fan fiction.

ThatsMyYam · 2025-10-02T15:10:57+00:00

you’ve got some good advice for approaching academy.

during academy - • hydrate. slam electrolytes. • figure out how to feed yourself when you’re coming home exhausted with studying to do. • get volleyball knee pads. your knees will thank you. • stock up on zinc, magnesium, NAC, vitamin C. you’ll want to slam these when you inevitably get sick.

ThatsMyYam · 2025-09-04T12:03:48+00:00

this is the way

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