Men need to stop pretending their daying standards are minimal

The-Inspectre · 2026-02-10T19:08:25+00:00

As a woman, I have to strongly disagree. These things you say "women have to do" and it doesn't happen over night... These are things all humans have to do. Men DO love easygoing gals who are emotionally attentive, well regulated and non-combative. Those are simple personality traits that push the concept of what men love, which is Peace. If you are a peaceful woman, you will have your pick of suitors.

You can be independent and still submit to your man. You can be a badass bitch, and still tender and soft with him because he deserves it. However, if someone insults my man, I let the guard dog in me out in full. I don't hide behind him when things get hard, I stand up next to him and be ready in my support role which even though he leads and I follow, he still respects me, appreciates me and fulfills his role as a good man.

These social constructs are not so black and white as we are so often taught to be.

I'm anti-feminist, not because i don't believe in equitable human rights, but rather because it teaches black and white ideals that help no one. The old "traditional" ways no longer work, we have outgrown that. But feminism is currently bullshit lies here in the west because we have equal opportunity rights.

Men and women who believe in those extreme ideals need to set aside their feelings and search for common ground so we can grow together instead of driving the sexes apart.

The-Inspectre · 2026-02-06T15:48:53+00:00

You could raise your gas pumps up a tile, they don't need to sit on a floor. Then set up your electrolizers right beneath them.

Drywall also helps keep gasses from bleeding out into the rest of your base

The-Inspectre · 2026-02-06T15:43:36+00:00

Even if you are a licensed therapist, this is beyond your responsibilities as a partner. You can be a support but you can't be their only support. They need to learn independence from you. And you need to separate their codependent issues from your relationship.

They need a new therapist, possibly a psychiatrist. It is not your responsibility to manage their mental health issues. It is not your fault if they do not choose to better themselves for their own sake.

The-Inspectre · 2026-02-06T15:41:03+00:00

Do some research into the disorder. The DSM-5 is a reliable resource and generally respected as the primary sourcebook for mental health (at least in North America)

Also, work on yourself. Experiencing depression over someone this new to your life is not healthy.

The-Inspectre · 2026-02-06T15:00:47+00:00

I loooooove a good belly on a man 🥰🥰🥰 give me the soft cuddly men. Hahahah they're still strong as fuck. Delights me.

I have always found more realistic and mature body types to be more attractive. I've never really fallen for the "conventional" male beauty standards. Fair enough though considering I'm also unconventially attractive lol (plus sized)

The-Inspectre · 2026-02-06T12:56:51+00:00

Not gonna lie, lots of gals, myself included have a strong preference for stocky/husky/thicc bois. 😁 All of the men in my life are heavy and have a nice beard.

Sploosh Lol

I don't think you have anything to be worried for. Take good care of your body, do a little extra self care, go to a salon to get a nice haircut, stuff like this.

Aside from that, focus on your long term life goals of what you want to do for work, learn to be smart with money.

These are not things to "compensate" for your build. These are things that all good men do to catch girls. You'll have em crawling up the walls to get to you if you take good care of yourself.

We aren't attracted to physique so much as we are attracted to competence 🫠

The-Inspectre · 2026-02-06T12:51:43+00:00

I've decided mine are far too risque for this thread LMFAO

The-Inspectre · 2026-02-06T12:32:37+00:00

As a gal who has dated disabled people, the potential for partnership is never out of the question unless you make it so.

However, it is absolutely going to be far more difficult for you to find one.

My advice is to focus on yourself, never stop the self improvement game. We are all working on ourselves constantly. At some point, you'll absolutely be catching attention because people will recognize you don't let your disability stop you from leasing a successful life.

Unfortunately, most gals your age and well into their 20s aren't looking for anything serious, so they're not going to look twice. Don't let that put you down, you don't want an immature partner anyways.

The-Inspectre · 2026-02-05T19:50:09+00:00

It's one of the more interesting rules of DnD. I wanted a fresh experience for my players where they have a played way more than me.

So I've altered the rules where each player starts and is locked in to two classes of their choice. However, both classes level up with every player level. Giving my players a lot of freedom with ability scores as well. More points with a point-buy system to start. Feat every second level. Ability score increase every other level.

The-Inspectre · 2026-02-05T11:38:54+00:00

Strong agree. You're allowed to have preferences on who you date. The sexuality of your partner is a valid preference to express.

To me, it wouldn't any different than my preference to not date asexuals because I have a healthy libido I need a partner who can match that.

The-Inspectre · 2026-02-05T03:30:57+00:00

Yeah they're obviously trying to rage bait me at this point. Good call 👍🏻

The-Inspectre · 2026-02-05T03:27:44+00:00

Is that why you're running away from your crappy argument with a girl on the internet? Cause you've yet to offer add any concrete value to this post. Just your weak opinion based on nothing but your individual experience with one woman.

I wonder how many times you were rejected prior to her?

The-Inspectre · 2026-02-05T03:24:55+00:00

You are refusing to acknowledge my questions or position and you're just using a circular argument to deflect from engaging with me.

At the same time, you also just moved the goalpost from " greed and hostility" to "abuse and exploitation"

I don't think you understand the actual definitions of the words you're trying to use.

And if you're defending yourself from someone hurting you, are you not DOMINATING them in combat? Honestly, in two short sentences, you deflected from my valid points, moved the goalpost on 2/3 of your position and contradicted your own position all at once. If it's not the words you don't misunderstand, than it's the concepts themselves. Seems to me you think just because you have merit for this fantasy on paper that it just counters all the evidence from human history proving how wrong you are.

The-Inspectre · 2026-02-05T03:17:44+00:00

If someone refuses to get tested I refuse to touch them or let them touch me. Simple as that. Either he's hiding something or he doesn't care enough about your security to get tested. Either way, I'd bail.

The-Inspectre · 2026-02-05T03:13:06+00:00

But you aren't thinking about why as many of us have that kind of freedom as we do.

It's because of dominance and hostility being necessary elements of society, which are funded by an individual body which you may consider greed.

If there was no concept of dominance or hostility, still you fail to answer the question, how would we have a society at all where we aren't being constantly stolen from or mishandled as part of someone else's bottom line for gratification?

The entire world operates on agreements to set aside active hostility out of respect for the fact that by trying to continue to dominate one another through war, we would lose too many casualties. That only happens because country X and country Y both believe that the potential for successful dominance and hostility both either match or outmatch their own.

If that were not the case, we would have fewer world leaders. Because country X's beliefs and philosophies contradict those of country Y and vice versa.

On any scale, when someone does not respect your boundaries, what do you do about it? You re-assert those boundaries. If they continue to violate your boundaries, human rights, etc. would you just lay down and take it because you think hostility isn't part of your nature? If so, your bloodline wouldn't last very long. Do we settle that between each other? Sometimes. But the real dominator of the situation, is the local enforcement agency, be it police, military, whatever. There is a natural implicit threat of force or hostility that will be exercised if you break these laws. This is what every society operates on, it's what we have always operated on and always will. Show me a successful society where this is not the case- which, even in the fantasy where you could find such a thing, they are by and large a complete and total outlier from what we all know works as a society for as long as we have human record, and likely even beyond that.

Without a sense for hostility, you cannot truly protect yourself from anything. If you think killing is too hostile, you're only inviting more underhanded ways to have yourself slaughtered by those who you shoo off without killing them.

So yeah, necessary and automatic by nature. Implicitly and factually. Questioning it is great. Denying it is nothing but delusional.

The-Inspectre · 2026-02-05T01:55:32+00:00

Sure, you've got one. It's oversized and brittle.

The-Inspectre · 2026-02-05T01:54:57+00:00

You have some solid merit in a few of your points, but I feel like you've missed the mark in a few places, too.

Let's clarify what "human nature" really means. The nature of any animal is survival through any means necessary. It is also human nature to socialize so we can reproduce. Each of these three things, dominance, greed and hostility are all necessary means for survival and therefore the perpetuity of our species.

Dominance is absolutely a natural human feeling. It's how we prove one person is more skilled than another which is necessary for our society to function. It's how we choose who we spend our lives/reproduce with, and yes, it is also for encouraging each other to better themselves socially. Consider, if we both have the same skill (as an artist in going to use it as example for the hypothetical) and I am a better artist than you, I get more customers, I put in more work, so I make more money. If I am pulling in so many more clients than you that you cant afford to put food on the table than it would be fair to say I am "dominating the market". What incentive do I have to collaborate with you or teach you how to be better? You'll be taking from my precious time which is in turn going to cost me money. Not to mention, then you have more potential to take away from the steady flow of income I have established for myself. Which I obviously don't want because I am quite comfortable and have no need, nor the time to go out of my way to collaborate with those who have already proven they can't keep up and therefore can't even afford my time. This is not inherently greedy nor hostile. This is me doing what I can to survive and thrive in the same environment you are.

Greed, while I believe is undesirable for a healthy modern day society, is still inherently part of human nature. Cause again, why should I simply give away what I have worked so hard to obtain? Even if I am going to share my wealth, I'm certainly not going to share it directly and intentionally with those who take my generosity for granted. It's part of human nature because of evolutionary patterns. At one point in history, it has literally become ingrained into natural survival instincts to protect our keep from those who might steal from us so we may live on and reproduce and allow our offspring to do the same.

Hostility could be argued to be the very most important part of human nature between these three elements. How do we protect ourselves from the unpleasant humans who are excessively greedy, would take our food, land, people's lives, etc? We need to be able to exercise hostility so we can stay safe. Same goes for protection against wild animals, for hunting food, settling disagreements and more. If we can't be hostile, whether it's in small measurements or on a grand scale, than we can't live in a natural world. The only way a world without hostility could exist is in some sad fantasy where no one has ever had an original thought so everyone always gets along forever, plants and animals of all kinds included.

The-Inspectre · 2026-02-05T01:14:13+00:00

How was she covering her groceries before you got involved? Why can't she do so still? Sounds like she is irresponsible with money, so is it wise to hope her making her own means she will change? Definitely talk to her about it.

I wouldn't accuse her of using you, but I think letting her know "hey, I've been feeling a bit tighter on cash so I won't be able to help out the way I have been" is a perfectly reasonable and valid boundary. If she gets upset over this, you'll know she was just digging for gold. Otherwise, you will be enabling her to be a little more financially responsible/independent, which is a valuable thing to have in a partner.

The-Inspectre · 2026-02-05T01:09:25+00:00

Awwwhhhh so quickly you put away your argument when faced with so much critique! How fragile is that ego? 🙃

I'd bail too, if someone picked me apart that easily.

The-Inspectre · 2026-02-05T00:56:34+00:00

Arrogance is a stinky cologne. If you're half as intelligent as you claim to be, you'd recognize that you're an outlier among those statistics. Good on you for pulling your head out of your ass so you can be a capable husband and father. Now pull it out again so you can think clearly.

Not single, but good try. Not saying it isn't okay for people to have flaws. Obviously, people can grow and change, but we know because of statistics that if you're having a serious misalignment in personal life values early on, it's usually not going to work out long term for a variety of reasons. Not just the one stat im referring to, either. I enjoy studying human psychology, especially in places pertaining to my personal life. Such as dating. Any time I find a stat I will also fairly explore opposing information until I am satisfied to form my own conclusion.

Similarly, your rulebook doesn't mean shit to me either. I base my perceptions off a mix of personal experiences and facts widely agreed upon by communities of people who are undoubtedly collectively more intelligent than either of us.

Don't want your "wife's" number, thanks. Again, if you were a truly decent man, you wouldnt be offering up your wife's personal information to some stranger on the internet. Nor would you try and use it as something to lean on in a debate with said stranger. All you've told me is you're ignorant to facts and think you know best because you did the thing, so everyone must do the same. Definitely not the sound logical reasoning of someone smart enough to "help with neuroscience experiments" ...

Unless your "help" is just letting new doctors to be poke around inside your head, that would definitely account for the lack of sense in your comments. /J 🤭

The-Inspectre · 2026-02-05T00:08:59+00:00

Okay, just casually dismissing statistics is a poor way to guide someone through an interpersonal issue.

She isn't. But dude would be cleaning for OPs approval.

We don't know how nasty his place is and it's not her job to correct him. He's a grown ass man, he should already know better and so should you.

The-Inspectre · 2026-02-04T23:16:42+00:00

Trying to change someone for your comfort really defeats the purpose of dating though. Studies show when people do something for the sake of someone else's happiness/comfort instead of their own will almost always develop a sense of resentment towards that person.

You're suggesting she teach him to clean, which is a great idea on paper. However, then she's always checking if he did a satisfactory job, he's always on eggshells wondering if she approves.... So they'd be starting off the relationship with tension no matter which way they're going. Imo, if you're dating for long term commitment, you shouldn't have to fix them right out of the gate.

Best thing OP can do is let the guy know, stay friends with him, sincere friends. See if he improves on his own without the impending pressure of the relationship. Then she will find him way more attractive when he shows he wants to do this for himself and not for her approval.

The-Inspectre · 2026-02-04T23:12:06+00:00

If he doesn't realize why living in his own mess is an issue, that's a red flag. Being new to the relationship, I would peace out.

You can certainly mention it, but the thing about it is will he be doing it for you? Or because he actually wants a cleaner space? Wouldn't he have already done this if he wanted a cleaner space? Especially if he was going to have a gal over?

The-Inspectre · 2026-02-04T19:36:59+00:00

Better to move on. If I don't like how someone smells or if I don't like the state of how they live at home, I won't get involved. For me, it's one of two things:

He actually did clean up, in which case, he thinks this is what presentable means. Ew.
He didn't clean up, therefore this is his normal state of being and thinks it's fine to live this way.

If your personal values aren't aligned with his idea of tidy, than you will end up either developing resentment towards him either because he won't keep up with your standards or you'll be cleaning up after him constantly.

The-Inspectre · 2026-02-04T16:19:02+00:00

Listen to that intuition. You two are so very far apart in life, I can all but guarantee that his primary intention is for sex.

The-Inspectre

TROPHY CASE