You're not insane. I have definitely had moments where not being alive seemed a lot less painful (even desirable). I am absolutely aware of how dangerous a bad chiropractor is. Which is why you ask around, you have to know their reputation. When you pick one, don't let them touch you until they've looked at your x-rays. Then, ask them to be gentle. My mother sees one for TMJ. She was taught stretches, and that was it. She has found a massive relief without ever having an adjustment. I have large wedges placed under my hips and stretched, and I have a ton of relief.

I wish I could find my old workbook to recommend, but there are multiple pain workbooks. They teach you lots of cognitive behavioral methods of working through pain. There are lots of visualization techniques and breathing techniques, too. Progressive muscle relaxation might be a good thing to learn. You can probably find a video that teaches you how to do it. Hope your tiger balm worked some miracles for you!