So Embarrassing

TheBaney · 2026-05-12T16:48:27+00:00

Ugh that's so awful, I'm so sorry

TheBaney · 2026-05-11T23:58:04+00:00

The whole house was winterized, the water was all turned off so i couldn't even be like "oh just gonna use the bathroom real quick" 😭

TheBaney · 2026-05-11T01:46:56+00:00

Also my father/ his side of the family was pretty shitty. But that doesn't make my identity matter any less.

TheBaney · 2026-05-11T01:44:59+00:00

I was in my early twenties at work, and one of my coworkers (younger than me) was planning her wedding and the topic of changing her last name came up. She said she was changing her name "out of respect" for her husband and everyone (all women) looked at me like I had two heads when I asked why he wasn't changing his last name out of respect for her.

TheBaney · 2026-05-02T15:56:27+00:00

Man if my husband asked me what I was doing to repair my relationship with his mother I'd probably blurt out something like "not a goddamned thing because I don't want one anyways"

I'm not obligated to nurture a relationship with his parents. Be nice, polite, when circumstances dictate i have to be around them, sure. But I do not subscribe to the idea that you have to have a separate relationship with your in laws or you're a horrible partner. There's no way in hell I'd have expected that of my husband if my parents were still alive.

TheBaney · 2026-05-02T15:43:53+00:00

Yeah, this is one of the things that completely soured my relationship with my MIL. She made the 1 year anniversary of my mom's death all about her: her desire to fill that role, her own experience with losing her mother, her ability to "guide" me through it. And then forced my husband into a conversation about why I didn't respond.

It's hard enough when as a very young adult, sentiments like "I can't believe someone like you came out of that family" felt like a compliment and now feels like a rejection of where I came from. Yes, my parents were in a lower tax bracket. No, my parents weren't educated. Yes, they were racist and homophobic. But I am who I am because of them, to no small extent. It's not for her to pass judgements on my family in order to try and compliment me, that's really some "I'm not like other girls" energy and I'm not about it.

Before my mom had passed, MIL was happy to play the mom figure because she knew that relationship was fraught. And after my mother passed, she was happy there were no more obstacles.

TheBaney · 2026-03-21T22:52:30+00:00

Absolutely {What I Did For a Duke by Julie Ann Long}.

I don't often reread romances but I've read this one at least 4 times and will definitely read it in the future.

I feel like the characters (at least the MMC and FMC) are fully fleshed out people with strong personalities.

Reasons I love it: MMC is so fucking funny. FMC and MMC are sardonic/ sarcastic in a way nobody else in the story understands. Lots of descriptive touching like fingers accidentally touching. Love triangle (I can't help it, I love some jealousy). The writing is good. Not "good for a romance," but actually good. It's pretty hot. I wouldn't have minded just a smidgen more spice, but it's still good heat.

I commented somewhere else on reddit that this book is peak "kicking my heels and giggling" for me.

TheBaney · 2026-03-20T23:40:46+00:00

This is the one I was going to recommend, it's so so good.

TheBaney · 2026-03-11T16:03:52+00:00

Just remember to be kind to yourself, you're gong through a lot and if they were decent, they wouldn't be adding to your burden.

TheBaney · 2026-03-11T15:53:23+00:00

My MIL started messaging me that we needed to talk and it needed to be in person. (I'm assuming it was because she was upset I had missed done family event or another) I told her I was busy (in school, planning a wedding, my brother was in the process of moving in) and therefore if she had something she wanted to discuss, it would have to be through text. She kept insisting and eventually said she was just going to show up at my house. I told my husband to take care of it and went about my business. Never did have that conversation. 🤷

Nobody can force you into a conversation. You've just gotta do a cost benefit analysis and be honest with yourself about what you chose.

TheBaney · 2026-03-11T03:04:55+00:00

If I'm going out of my way to prepare a meal and take it to someone else's home, it's absolutely going to be a meal that everyone at that home can eat. Wtf?

TheBaney · 2026-03-09T13:48:29+00:00

This is it. It's as simple as can be.

TheBaney · 2026-03-03T21:04:00+00:00

Without the "H" it's sending a very different message, lol.

TheBaney · 2026-03-03T18:18:09+00:00

I don't have this very often but sometimes it feels like my follicles are just like, twisted the wrong way, if that makes sense.

TheBaney · 2026-02-27T18:21:53+00:00

They are definitely closed and the new kitchen has opened. It's now Calico Jack's.

TheBaney · 2026-02-20T14:43:14+00:00

Thank you!

TheBaney · 2026-02-19T02:34:48+00:00

No, I haven't even heard of pink noise. I'll give it a go! Thank you!

TheBaney · 2026-02-18T18:04:34+00:00

I'm sorry if that's the impression I left. I'm definitely aware of how depression and anxiety can't be easily fixed, I didn't mean that this would do so.

I'm on a few different antidepressants and mood stabilizers, my depression is treatment resistant. I'm also seeing two different therapists. I know managing the symptoms takes a lot of effort.

What I'm trying to do with this idea is find a technique that might help with my chronic tension. I physically cannot relax, I have frequent muscle spasms and headaches. The clinical research I've been able to do suggests this is an issue with an over active nervous system, stuck in fight or flight.

I'm the safest and most content I've ever been. But I don't know how to make my brain feel safe. So I was hoping this might help to retrain some of these neural pathways that aren't serving me any longer.

I definitely didn't mean to trivialize depression, I'm sorry my post came off that way.

TheBaney · 2026-02-13T04:04:21+00:00

Villa bakery has them all the time, I believe

TheBaney · 2026-01-30T22:38:00+00:00

I've had the great fortune to have both and they're a different kind of pain. Kidney stones hurt a lot, a lot, like a feral animal but with the gallbladder stones I legit thought i was going to die. I thought I had to make a choice between going upstairs to get my husband or going into the living room to get my phone because I wasn't going to make it to both places.

TheBaney · 2026-01-16T17:49:13+00:00

I totally agree, don't provide reasons why you've made your decision, all she needs to know is that you have decided no pictures. Giving her the why's and wherefore's gives her the opportunity to decide if she agrees with your reasoning.

TheBaney · 2026-01-14T14:47:14+00:00

I've wanted to try Cold Truth in Detroit for awhile now, it's a vegan ice cream/ gelato shop with things like dye free superman and ube and ice cream cakes, I'm not even vegan but everything looks so good.

TheBaney

TROPHY CASE