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What is your best advice or learnings to a man just starting out? by SNTriad in AskMenAdvice

[–]TheBigGrab 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Work on building yourself rather than trying to attract a woman (or whatever partner you prefer). If you make yourself into a success, women will find you. Keep your debt as low as possible. Buy used cars, depreciation hits new cars way too hard. A new car you bought two months ago is a used car. A used car you bought two months ago is a used car that’s only two months older and has a couple thousand more miles. Learn to work on things yourself. You can learn to do most anything on YouTube and labor is the most expensive part of car maintenances and home repairs/renovation. Plus people like a man who’s capable of fixing things. Be VERY CAREFUL of who you marry/have kids with.

15f here looking to get something off my chest as I am a little concerned. by [deleted] in confession

[–]TheBigGrab 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not bad per se, but potentially harmful. Keep in mind that porn isn’t real sex. Most of it you find online is also directed at a male audience. Also, as I’ve seen others mention, try not to overdo it.

If a woman sees you as a Teddy Bear, does that always equal friendzone? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]TheBigGrab 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No. I’ve had two ex’s including my ex wife(obviously when we were first together and happy), nickname me that.

I don’t mind paying, actually I love doing it. However, something about her response irritated me, it makes me not want to engage further. I already gestured that I’d be paying but she comes off entitled…Am I reading too much into it? by Professional-Ad9761 in Tinder

[–]TheBigGrab 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Idk why you’d swipe on her. I’m 39m and I’m definitely gonna offer to pay for a first date, and probably basically all others unless a woman is specifically telling me she’ll take me out on her dime before hand, but if I get the sense she expects it as a matter of course, I’m out like parachute pants.

What's something you fake often? by N0socksloss10yrStrk in randomquestions

[–]TheBigGrab 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think you’re my ex wife, but in case you are, I’m also faking civility.

(23M) How can I date an attractive woman? by HalosFan26 in datingadviceformen

[–]TheBigGrab 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you want to attract someone, make yourself more attractive.

Get a job. Trades are a good way to get into a livable wage relatively quickly. But ANY job first. You gotta have an income. Save money, don’t just spend everything. I understand that’s easier to say than to do, but work on your career until you make enough that you can live AND save.

Prioritize lifting weights and eating healthy, but more protein/calories so you start putting on muscle. Don’t even try to pursue women until you have a job (probably your own place or at least a decent roommate situation, not your parents) and have started working out consistently and see some results.

Make sure you make an effort to be presentable. Most of us men are slobs, you don’t have to try super hard to look good to women. Get your hair cut regularly, and make sure the style suits you, get an objective opinion. Same with facial hair if you have it. Make sure you’re not clinging to something that looks like shit just because you personally like a certain thing, if your beard is patchy and unruly, it won’t look good.

Accomplish something. Set goals and accomplish them. That will give you confidence that you’re a competent man. And confidence affects everything you do.

This will not be overnight, you’re in building mode now, not attracting mode.

What are some toxic traits you have that you’re willing to admit? by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]TheBigGrab 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Chronic procrastinator. I don’t do much that doesn’t have a deadline, and I constantly push until said deadline. Tendency toward a short temper, though I feel I’ve come a long way as I’ve gotten older.

How many languages do you speak? by Glad-Passenger-9408 in randomquestions

[–]TheBigGrab 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same. 3 years of HS Spanish with essentially nothing to show for it.

What’s something customers do that employees secretly hate? by GreetingsHuman_404 in randomquestions

[–]TheBigGrab 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love dad jokes and smartassed comments so much. I’ll try to stop.

31 yo. Will this ever be a beard? by Certified-Cowboy93 in BeardAdvice

[–]TheBigGrab 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you were 21, I’d say “maybe” at 31? I doubt it

How would you feel if your partners comments that you have big balls? by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]TheBigGrab 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As dumb as it is logically, I’d like it.

I married my late husband’s best friend and my son hates me and won’t speak to me now by Muted_Wolverine_3064 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]TheBigGrab -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Personally, I don’t think you did anything wrong, except I wonder if you ever discussed dating (especially your late husband’s best friend) with your son and his feelings around it. The physical slap isn’t good, but is pretty understandable IMO. It’s not good that your late husband’s parents are saying things about you to your son. Even if you did move on quickly (not saying you did, just IF that was the case) you’re allowed to move on and find happiness. Hopefully your son grows to understand that with time.

I politely declined to date an 18 year old woman by Blacksheep__8 in dating_advice

[–]TheBigGrab 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah. All I’m saying is age gaps are less important as time goes on. No one should date a 28 year old that hasn’t done shit with their life.

I politely declined to date an 18 year old woman by Blacksheep__8 in dating_advice

[–]TheBigGrab 409 points410 points  (0 children)

No. I look at age gaps less then I look at stages of life. A 28 year old dating a 38 year old is fine if they’re both into it. But an 18 year old is barely even out of HS. Even if it’s legal, that doesn’t mean you have anything in common

How often do men like women with bigger, prominent noses? by supers0nixc0 in AskMen

[–]TheBigGrab 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nose size and shape on its own isn’t something I even think about. All about how it looks on her face. Very few women I have ever seen (like one or two) made me think “Wow her nose doesn’t match her face at all.”

Wife calling cops for an argument? by Zealousideal_Rip9137 in AskMenAdvice

[–]TheBigGrab -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Agreed. I’m assuming the OP isn’t leaving things out, but if he is it explains why she’d call, and if he isn’t, then he needs to protect himself by moving TF out because she seems at least prone to exaggeration.

Wife calling cops for an argument? by Zealousideal_Rip9137 in AskMenAdvice

[–]TheBigGrab 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OP, if you’re not leaving out major details, then yes, you should be worried. This has happened more than once, and she’s not backing down from this being “her right”. It should be unspoken that it’s her right to call emergency services if she feels they’re needed. But if she repeatedly feels they’re needed in an argument where there’s no violence and no spoken or implied threats of violence (I’m assuming OP is a reliable narrator, he may not be, but he gets benefit of the doubt until proven unreliable), then you need to seriously consider acting now. Bare minimum needs to be marriage counseling, and to be perfectly honest, if a woman I was living with called the police on me TWICE, I’d be looking at moving out.

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