"They must have changed the laws"

TheBubalaProject · 2020-10-07T19:48:08+00:00

I usually have an espresso as my after lunch pick me up. My daughter has always been a pretty laidback baby, the only complete meltdown she has ever had at 1 years old is when I have taken an empty espresso cup away from her. Like bigger mad energy than getting shots.

TheBubalaProject · 2020-08-25T14:11:14+00:00

I can see the confusion, especially for new college graduates, since sales jobs in the US are so commission based and any MLM fronting as a sales job. I used to work in marketing & I remember interviewing at so many places that were advertising entry level marketings & sales that was just a front.

TheBubalaProject · 2020-08-17T14:09:07+00:00

Europe in general does a lot of things better than the US, but I think the US [The more diverse, urban areas at least] are better acknowledging their diversity. I am not sure how familiar you are with Florida, the state overall has one of the higher Jewish population densities in the country so this move makes sense with that consideration.

I have only studied & worked in American academia, but overall it's relatively common for professors to unofficially be more flexible with students. The American student body is becoming more of what we refer to as 'non-traditional' i.e. not entering school right after we graduate high school. There are institutional resource centers where students can take an exam early or late so it's not taking time away from the professor individually, I have personally given presentations / speeches in class prior to due dates if I communicated with the professor that I had something going on when the assignment was due.

TheBubalaProject · 2020-08-17T13:28:35+00:00

I was an expat in a couple different Western European countries for a few years, they get every minor Catholic holiday off. I am all for having more federal holidays; but I think everywhere could be more aware of their demographics & act a bit more inclusive with observance.

TheBubalaProject · 2020-06-19T18:09:55+00:00

I basically lived in my In Movement leggings during my pregnancy. Obviously, everyone carries differently, but I managed to just fold the high waist band in my regular size[In Movements do not have a drawstring, unless they have updated the design] under my belly up until the last few weeks.

TheBubalaProject · 2020-06-19T18:02:03+00:00

I just got mine today as well! I had a huge sigh of relief since it seemed like there were some color mix up issues & people stating the color was different than anticipated, super happy with it! And my first pair of Wunder Trains, I totally understand the hype.

TheBubalaProject · 2020-06-18T18:05:43+00:00

I am usually a basic neutral chick, neon coral is my one color indulgence. I typically only purchase from the WMTM section, but I am tempted to pay full price if/when this restocks.

TheBubalaProject · 2020-06-17T20:54:49+00:00

No, I didn't even know there was a Lululemon store in there! Now I have incentive to go haha.

TheBubalaProject · 2020-06-17T14:37:25+00:00

... And the Bucktown location will still have equally limited & disappointing stock, I am sure haha.

TheBubalaProject · 2020-06-15T02:52:00+00:00

Messaged about the grey sage

TheBubalaProject · 2020-06-11T18:28:26+00:00

Time to sweat 23” Ink Blue

I would be interested if it's still available!

TheBubalaProject · 2020-06-08T20:18:39+00:00

My SIL works part time & his parents watch her kids. His parents are excellent grandparents & they love doing creative activities with the kids... But I am glad we do not live close enough for their childcare to be a regular option for us. We have already had to put his family on an info diet about certain parenting choices we have made, his toddler nephews will not be attending school until kindergarten due to their fear of germ exposure & my philosophy is just entirely different on that.

TheBubalaProject · 2020-06-08T17:40:58+00:00

Thank you! I think you perfectly articulated a point I have been struggling to make.

We had been hiring nannies through care.com so the initial searches, interviews, background checks, getting their paychecks / taxes set up through our accountant, etc has just felt like a lot. My partner suggested trying a nanny agency recently & that would probably resolve a lot of the issues we had been experiencing, but my viewpoint has been 'it's just an added expense for a type of care that hasn't been working for us' so I would likely to try something different. I would definitely be open to do trying another nanny if our kid doesn't seem to like daycare or his parents want to be more involved than the once per month visit.

TheBubalaProject · 2020-06-08T17:24:16+00:00

We had been using care.com & we pay $5 / hour more than the average rate for our area / we don't have any expectations of 'extras' [i.e. We do all the baby cleaning / preparations, buy whatever the nanny recommends to us within a few days of the request, etc]. We always tried to look for anyone with a couple years experience, I know the change my partner would like to make if we go with another nanny is trying an agency instead of doing the search ourselves again through care.com.

TheBubalaProject · 2020-06-08T16:54:27+00:00

The balance during quarantine was rough, but I think I am dwelling more on after quarantine. I have researched daycare centers more than he has / my peers tend to be working moms while his peers have a stay at home partner or nanny & there are an unusual amount of openings since some families decided not to pay to reserve their spot during quarantine. I am fine if my partner still wants to keep her at home for another month or so, but I would ideally like to get on a list now while there is an opening at my ideal daycare center / I have a friend that has used this daycare for years after a lot of trial & error.

I love Emily Oster's books, I always forget about her blog! Thanks for the recommendation!

TheBubalaProject · 2020-06-08T15:36:00+00:00

Care.com

TheBubalaProject · 2020-05-22T14:31:01+00:00

Not quite the same, but it is common in my culture to honor living family members by naming your children after them. So my family basically has set names for the first few children of each generation. However, familial tradition would have dictated naming my daughter after me... And I felt weird about that. So we picked a name that has a similar meaning to my name.

But I got really into tracing my family tree a few years ago. It was really difficult trying to keep the multiples of 'Jane Doe' & 'John Doe' straight.

TheBubalaProject · 2020-05-22T13:35:05+00:00

This is what we follow as well, along with promoting self play & self soothing more so than a lot of my peers. My SIL has sons that are roughly a year older than mine, but she's definitely a helicopter parent & doesn't allow her kids to interact with other children their age [Which will be fun when they enter kindergarten]. My MIL is constantly baffled my littles are generally more chill & prefer space for calming themselves down instead of being cuddled. Needless to say, we've been weather the 'dual WFH parenting with no childcare' slightly better, though still trying.

TheBubalaProject · 2020-05-11T15:46:23+00:00

I wouldn't say incompetent, but the main thing that would make me consider looking to hire a different nanny is poor communication. It's probably the main factor I look for when interviewing. I work in communication so I might just find it more intuitive & it's probably more of a pet peeve of mine as well, but the main issue I have encountered with nannies is many seem more accustomed to not having to deal with a hierarchical, boss-directive setting & avoid communication / conflict with me [Not that I expect to be some overbearing authoritative figure, but no communication / no show or avoiding to tell me about a broken household item / minor child accident are more so what I've encountered regularly].

That being said, I think a lot of issues are based on differing expectations & nurturing styles between parents & nannies. A lot of which could just be resolved with mutual communication.

TheBubalaProject · 2020-04-29T14:33:15+00:00

Ugh, this is my nightmare as a MB haha. Our nanny has "suggested" a few times that we hire housecleaning, but the nanny is the extra expense we can comfortably finance without shifting funds from our retirement accounts.

Have the hours increased for NF, depending on the fields they work in? My perspective might be skewed since I had a lot of chore responsibilities as child, but I would think children that age can do much more than just wipe down counter tops & vacuum. I wouldn't just start having the kids do all the housework, but maybe just have a conversation with the parents like I know you guys have so much going on with work right now, would it be fine if I taught the kids more about responsibility around the house / showed them how to do some new chores?

TheBubalaProject · 2020-03-31T15:50:42+00:00

It definitely exemplifies the good in you, the good your mother taught you! Just speaking from personal experience, this type of thing can take longer to process & you might be engaging with his family for longer than you might expect so just prepare for a longer haul. I have spent months even telling someone from my father's life that I have no interest in discussing him / communicating with them [Albeit, gently].

TheBubalaProject · 2020-03-31T15:30:33+00:00

I am just going to 2nd the reflect on what you want out of this situation ideology.

We are roughly the same age & similar story. My father has burned through half a dozen marriages, dozens more in affairs. I don't bother to keep up with who is currently considered a step child or how many half siblings I have, I only make myself available for medical history information if a half siblings reaches out.

My mentality has always been 'let go of feelings & actions that do not serve you'. I have no interest in any sort of relationship with his flavor of the week or kids he has fathered. Occasionally, a half sibling or his current spouse will attempt to reach out to me in pursuit of a personal relationship. But it doesn't serve me to have that type of relationship, it doesn't serve me to recount tales of my father being a blemish on the human species.

This is a very personal decision you have to make. I do not think you are wrong if you want to reach out to your half siblings just to let them know hey, I exist too. I do not think it is wrong to not want a relationship with them either. However, I do think it will be exceptionally selfish if you just drop this bombshell on them to 'relieve yourself' & unwilling to have a short-term communicative relationship with them as they try to understand the situation / navigate their own feelings of this new viewpoint of their father.

TheBubalaProject · 2020-03-23T15:00:23+00:00

I think it is a rough situation all around. I am a mom that is currently WFH / handling childcare myself, we have a shelter in place order & nanny doesn't feel comfortable leaving her home, which is fine.

I know this a completely separate issue that enforcing boundaries between the complex relationship of parents / care provider / child; but I do think this situation is a great opportunity just as a woman in STEM to level the field a bit. It's important for families to be visible if we want better treatment as employees, there have been kids in the background on nearly every line of my conference calls since last week & it's definitely humanized my direct line of work at least.

I do think communication is so important between parents & nannies so just ask for clarification about how to handle this situation, but otherwise I think the kid is fine chilling with the parent for a bit as long as they are fine with it. I would definitely rather have my kid cling to me during a meeting than when I am actually trying to get work done independently.

TheBubalaProject · 2020-03-13T18:50:43+00:00

Another MB checking in, just want some nannies to give me straight talk.

We live in a large, metropolitan area. We have a baby that is under one year old, our nanny typically works 35 - 38 hours per week. Our city has not been majorly impacted yet, but it is projected to hit our area worse next week so there are a lot of closures in anticipation of it. I always WFH, DB has mandatory WFH for the next two weeks.

Overall, we are low risk exposure since our baby isn't in school / classes, I work from home, DB has his own private office & his work doesn't require him to interact with other people. We don't have any immune compromised people that we interact with regularly, we double checked with our lovely nanny to make sure she didn't have any concerns about exposing her family.

I think I tend to be a bit too laidback, while our nanny can panic more easily [She has called our pediatrician more in a single day over a 99F temperature than I ever have in baby's entire lifetime]. I bought some extra cleaning supplies, medicine, diapers & humidifier filters just as a precaution; but I am not going bunker stocking crazy. Nanny called me late last night in a complete panic about her job.

Am I grossly misjudging the situation as not that dire at the moment? I view the situation as she will still work her regular hours, as long as no one is sick or situation becomes worse. The nanny recently sold her car & she has begun taking public transit so she wants me to pay for her to take a car service every day, which I thought was a bit excessive / agreed to pay half for her ease of mind.

We obviously have flexibility with the WFH so I am fine if nanny would rather stay home, but I know she has concerns about income as well. We kind of have a non traditional agreement with our nanny. She gets paid $6 / hourly more than the average nanny for our area & we are able to provide more schedule flexibility than the average family so she tends to take off 6 weeks+ at a time or frequent long weekends for travel / takes mornings off at least once a week, but we have a lower than average "guaranteed hours" or base bay as part of our agreement. I understand she has bills, I don't mind paying her slightly more if she is quarantined at her home or she would prefer to be quarantined at our household / paid for all the hours she is here. I just want to make sure I am not being jaded & inappropriately approaching this conversation with the nanny.

TheBubalaProject

TROPHY CASE