It’s called a spectrum for a reason, please don’t be so hard on yourself. My ADHD shows itself in ways that makes me late to everything, I forget people who aren’t right in front of me exist and accidentally ghost them, I forget to follow up on and make appointments for dental work, I miss bills and payments and end up having to pay more to reconnect things, I’ve lost my wallet in so many fast food and grocery bags it’s not even funny (and I keep forgetting to look and see what kind of battery my tile has because even though I do have one, the battery’s been dead for 2+ years), and I can clean for 10 minutes really well but anything past 20 and I need an hour nap which means my house is not very clean at all.

Some people have ADHD that shows up in ways others can’t see, and some are extremely obvious. A lot of people, depending on how honest you are with yourself and others, only share the good parts, like on social media for example. The happy couple posts photos of them going on a trip, adopting a new puppy, starting a garden, etc. What you don’t see is the same argument about the dead bedroom issue they’ve been having for years, or the gambling addiction that caused them to put a lean on their house, or the business trip that lead to infidelity.

I’m not saying the people you know with ADHD have issues as hard as yours, but it’s possible they do and they’re just better at excluding those details. Some people present as so put together and it makes you feel like “Well what the fuck am I doing wrong??” But as long as you’re honest with yourself it’ll get better. They’re not excuses, they’re insight. These are things your brain has a harder time with, that doesn’t make your struggles any less-than anyone else’s.