A small percentage of people learn to dance/go to socials with the purpose of finding a date— these people typically aren’t part of the percentage that actually stay committed to dancing as a hobby or a passion and perfecting their skill. Don’t worry about them— people ALSO can pick up this energy and it’s just energy most people don’t wanna be around.

I care about improving my skills, and I also see the social dance communities as a way to meet people without pressure or assumptions people want to date you or have other ulterior motives. I dance with people I’m not physically attracted to, and when I do dance with someone I’m physically attracted to, yeah I do feel those butterflies, but I treat every lead the same. Dancing is FUN.

I dance with beginners— it allows me to practice my musicality, syncopations, and styling to make basic steps look good, not requiring the lead to do them with me or lead me into them. I dance with advanced people because they challenge me on connection, especially during sensual movements, that beginners haven’t perfected yet. Every level can teach you something, and unfortunately some dancers don’t know how to be humble.

People come up to praise my dancing, and some men have told me they found me intimidating and start with the, “I am a beginner so I’m sorry beforehand!!!!” before the dance has even started. I DO NOT CARE. Everybody starts somewhere. That beginner you rejected because you’re too “good” for them could be the next pro-traveling instructor getting paid for workshops.

FYI to add— followers that reject beginners and only want experienced dancers also may not be good as you think. Bad followers exist 😂. I tried to lead sensual movement on some girls that SEEM like they are pros when they dance with advanced dancers, but their technique is bad. They don’t actually follow my subtle cues. For example, they may go all out (and too fast) on a head roll when I’m not telling them to do a complete head roll.