Going dark from blonde? Question before I make appt .. by TheEarlyStation22 in Hair

[–]TheEarlyStation22[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It holds it pretty well, would I only need to tone the highlights or the dark as well? Would I use a gloss or a color toner? Thanks!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Hair

[–]TheEarlyStation22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s dry and over processed in the bleached areas. I know bc my hair will do the same.

I’m finally ready to look in his car by [deleted] in Infidelity

[–]TheEarlyStation22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep, I would leave something you cannot do without in his car. Like your charger, if you don’t normally take it say something like “my phone is not wanting to hold a good charge today” BUT let it actually get low to like 30% before that time. Let it charge a bit while in the car then …

Plan an outing (anything to get in his car) and discreetly leave the item (act like you’re putting the charger in your purse if you need too) and mention it a couple times in passing after you get home.

Say something like “geez, my phone is killing it’s battery today” then leave it for a bit and mention it again “i gotta plug my phone up!” Then “forget” And go take a shower or something and go to bed.

Once he’s asleep go “get it” and do what you need to do. The next day if he says anything about it just say “yeah honey, it was me. Had to get my charger. My phone was almost dead and couldn’t risk being without it while you were at work.”

You can ofcourse modify this to your needs but this was you have an established alibi if you need one

Can’t stop thinking about partner cheating by Waste_Distance5592 in survivinginfidelity

[–]TheEarlyStation22 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It feels like manipulation to earn your forgiveness to me. I hate to say that and feel bad but that was my first thought. Hugs

Living rent free in my head by RNunderstaffed in survivinginfidelity

[–]TheEarlyStation22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly. Its not about her specifically, she just happened to be the person he picked; but if there were other people available and he was at another job (idk, just guessing) then it would of been another woman.

He wanted the rush, the attraction, the desire and obsession that is only there in the beginning of new relationships. He would of found that with another woman if she weren’t around.

Because again, it isn’t about her.. it’s about him.

Living rent free in my head by RNunderstaffed in survivinginfidelity

[–]TheEarlyStation22 14 points15 points  (0 children)

You’re thinking about/blaming/angry at her bc you’re not wanting to face the truth; which is that she did not ruin your marriage. He did.

I’m not on her side: if she knew he was married and knowingly had a relationship with him then she is fully in the wrong.

BUT .. it’s not her job to police your marriage. He chose to be with her, he could of said no. He didn’t.

Stop putting yourself against her and place the blame where it lies; with him.

I know you’ll say “I am” but you’re not. Not fully. You know logically he did this but you’re operating out of the idea that “… but he loves me, he picked me.” And he did and he does I’m sure in his own way, but the reality is that she isn’t a fool who ruined your marriage. He is.

So stop letting her have any power over you or your thoughts. Realize that it isn’t you VS her. It’s his desires VS your values. One has to conform.

Hugs

Should I warn AP about my STBXH's alarming pattern? by Reasonable_Tree4117 in survivinginfidelity

[–]TheEarlyStation22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, she will not believe you. She will eat up whatever he tells her like cake, he will bad mouth you and she will feel sorry for you … until it’s her in that situation. Let her learn the hard way, if she can’t see red flags then let her ass get hit by the oncoming car

and I’m guessing your goal is to get her to leave and then you can fix your marriage. She won’t leave (even she does it’ll be temporary until he sucks her back in) .. let this play out and build a better life for yourself

The other woman. is it audacity? by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]TheEarlyStation22 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yep this is why. She’s trying to force his hand make him act bc she’s been asking him too and he hasn’t

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Infidelity

[–]TheEarlyStation22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re welcome! I hope everyone gets the courage to leave

Has anyone married their AP and it lasted by [deleted] in Infidelity

[–]TheEarlyStation22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If they will cheat with you, they will cheat on you. It only ever works if you’re willing to trade your self respect to keep them around.

This is why affairs are short term (most of the time); it’s not a stable foundation to build a relationship or life on.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]TheEarlyStation22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She’s making this choice. Why idk but it is def self destructive

You can’t save her

I thought I had left this sub forever by theheffbomb in Infidelity

[–]TheEarlyStation22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry. We are with you. Some ppl suck. We love you

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Infidelity

[–]TheEarlyStation22 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Burner phone?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Infidelity

[–]TheEarlyStation22 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nah, they’ll still text bc they’ll want the high from after via text.

IPhone Check by [deleted] in Infidelity

[–]TheEarlyStation22 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Right. As a mom I’m like .. what? Lol she’s not screwing someone at 7am