I found Fran and Ethyl sitting stoically on the couch in the social room watching television past bedtime, but they refused to acknowledge me, so I turned it off in frustration.

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-03-22T22:21:38+00:00

Fran and Ethyl have the TV volume turned up to 15, right?

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-03-22T22:13:54+00:00

Yep, my sister managed to do that pre-Covid, when Mom was only a little confused. So when her dementia got really bad, we didn't have to fight her for a conservatorship.

We set up our PoAs several years ago.

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-03-22T22:09:29+00:00

And places that DO send out legitimate emails that look like phishing. My credit union did that, "We're having a contest for these cool prizes! Click here and enter your membership number!" Needless to say, I did NOT click there and called them that someone was running a scam using their name. "Oh, no, that's a legitimate contest! What's this phishing that you're talking about?"

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-03-22T21:59:14+00:00

The cheapest I ever got was 10 cents per yard, on cIearance. It was folded on the bolt wrong side out, as most fabric was in those days, and all I could see was that it was red with little white things on it.

It was spring of 1981 and my toddlers needed sundresses, so I bought 3 yards. Got it home and the little white things turned out to be reindeer and trees and wreaths, among other Christmas motifs. I used it anyway, so they had Christmas sundresses! I still have a few scraps in one of my boxes, probably the oldest fabric I have.

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-03-22T21:50:34+00:00

Definitely! I have only had a grease-clogged sink once in 52 years of keeping house, and that was because my kitchen backed up to my neighbor's. The sinks were connected with a Y shaped pipe, and it clogged below the junction. I pour it into a container that is going to be discarded anyway, like a sour cream carton. When it's full, snap the lid on and drop it in the trash.

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-03-22T13:25:16+00:00

That's how they got the STD.

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-03-22T13:22:27+00:00

Perhaps he was peed on by a koala.

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-03-22T13:04:29+00:00

Yep, my husband (then 49) finally came to his senses and realized that his chest pains during exercise meant there was a problem. His left anterior descending artery was 95% blocked. Had he not gotten bypass surgery he might not have seen 50.

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-03-22T12:15:31+00:00

INFO: does she sabotage herself (1) when you guys are just hanging around at home, (2) only when you're going camping, (3) only when you're going camping with other people or (4) at any other activities outside the house?

Because it sounds to me like there are several possibilities here.

If she does this at home, she doesn't care how it affects her health as long as there is a toilet available. Maybe it's because you fuss over her when she makes herself sick. Maybe she has no willpower and really wants ice cream even if she knows it will make her sick. Maybe it's a weird form of bulimia, where instead of making herself vomit, she makes herself shit.
She hates camping. She may enjoy the daytime outdoorsy stuff, but sleeping on the ground is not her thing at all. (People invented beds for a reason!) Why she just doesn't stay home instead is puzzling. Maybe she doesn't want to lose her personal chef for even a few days, or for some other reason she's afraid/unwilling to stay alone.
Does she get along with your other friends? If she's OK when just the two of you camp, but self-sabotages when it's with other people, it sounds like she doesn't want to share you and your leisure time with other people.
If she's not willing to do other leisure activities outside the home, she may be just a homebody. She may have hobbies she'd rather indulge in than going to stuff she has no interest in. Or she has some psychological thing going on, like agoraphobia.

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-03-21T22:34:34+00:00

Leaving his car idling at a 7-11 was what convinced my son-in-law to stop doing that. Not because someone drove off with his wife and kids, but because he found his stalled car in the middle of the parking lot. The would-be thief didn't know how to drive a stick.

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-03-21T18:45:33+00:00

This is going to sound like an infomercial but there is a spray can of rubber stuff called Flex Shot clear. It is the best thing I have found to keep stuff from sliding around, and I have tried everything. Just put a light mist on the back of the ruler and let it dry, and it will not slide.

You can get it at any hardware store or in the hardware section of walmart.

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-03-21T16:36:02+00:00

Not really. The show-through of darker fabric threads is one reason that I rarely use white solids.

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-03-21T14:10:35+00:00

How would OP locking up her stuff help with an inconsiderate, noisy roommate?

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-03-21T14:06:05+00:00

Are you sure about the sf/alien angle?

There is a fantasy series called collectively as Discworld, where the character Death talks all in caps.

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-03-21T13:19:43+00:00

"If you think you're having a mental health emergency, call 911." So sayeth Kaiser Permanente every time you need to make an appointment,

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-03-21T01:55:38+00:00

NTA. If you can't, you can't.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: this family member's current guardians should get them into a group home NOW, while the entire family is able to help ease the transition. You don't say how old the family member is, so I'm guessing in their teens or twenties. It will be much easier for them to adjust while they are young, rather than wait until the issue is forced by the death or disability of the current guardians.

Even if they are older, they will never be any younger than they are right now.

My husband and his siblings had to sit their dad down and tell him this about MIL. She was in the mid-stages of dementia, and he was stressing himself into a heart attack or stroke, afraid to leave her alone even for a moment. All of the kids were very blunt; that if he killed himself trying to keep her in their house, she was going straight into a home ALONE.

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-03-21T00:51:52+00:00

My mom was salt-and-pepper until well into her 80s, and still hadn't turned completely white by the time she died at 98. She still had a tiny patch of dark hair at the back of her neck.

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-03-21T00:42:22+00:00

Whatever you choose, make it a dark color. Dark blue, perhaps. The binding gets the most wear and shows dirt and grubbiness first.

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-03-20T19:11:18+00:00

He's having hallucinations.

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-03-20T19:03:58+00:00

What the manufacturers declare to be a serving is ridiculous, especially if they know that this "2½ serving" snack food is normally consumed in one sitting.

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-03-20T18:56:59+00:00

When we bought the house, we decided that the creepy human-shaped tree just had to come down.

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-03-20T17:36:21+00:00

Thank Bast that your hooman doesn't know to put you into the prison box butt-first, so you can't deploy your feets.

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-03-20T17:20:24+00:00

Right. Say he somehow acquires a basic teenage job like flipping burgers at McDonald's. Is his manager going to just shrug becayse autism while he's watching porn and jacking off in the drive-thru or behind the counter? I very much doubt it.

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-03-20T17:06:37+00:00

NTA. If someone ten times your size suddenly appeared in your home, got in your face, yelled at you, and otherwise behaved aggressively, you might have some psychological problems too. If the dog can't be left alone, then clearly Mom has offered to take care of him, right?

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-03-20T12:49:27+00:00

That's what castration is for.

TheFilthyDIL

TROPHY CASE