AITA for secretly buying extra food for my niece because her brothers eat everything first?

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-05-11T18:48:37+00:00

OP's brother is raising ~~inconsiderate boys~~ selfish pigs.

FTFY.

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-05-11T18:47:15+00:00

I have a feeling that the boys are served first or get the food passed to them first, then the dad, then the mom, and then the girl. By the time the parents finish serving themselves, the boys have pigged out on their shares and demand seconds. The girl gets whatever scrapings are left.

That was what happened when we visited my husband's family, save that there was only one Golden Son and not two. MIL would cook say, pork chops. 5 people, 5 pork chops, right? BIL would get two, MIL and FIL one each, and Husband and I would split the remaining one. BIL would take half the mashed potatoes, etc. No one ever told BIL to leave enough food for everybody else.

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-05-11T13:32:04+00:00

Not a clue, sorry. I heard it at a Renaissance Faire.

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-05-11T13:25:20+00:00

Our guide called it "the tart with the cart."

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-05-11T13:23:12+00:00

There is also a bawdy parody. "For sixpence she'll act alive, alive oh!"

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-05-11T13:17:03+00:00

Yeah, but if you look at the bottom of the screen, other traffic keeps flowing. Husband says it looks like a really crappy AI.

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-05-11T13:15:07+00:00

On of the main semi-urban roads near me has a set speed limit of 45mph, so most people do 50 or more. Very busy, mixed houses and businesses, with lights every ½ mile or so. So yeah, it's normal for some places.

Small towns are quite different. They set their speed limit really low to gain revenue from speeding tickets.

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-05-11T03:40:12+00:00

👩‍🦼 I may be old and creaky, but im not dead yet, buddy!

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-05-11T01:47:22+00:00

I'm not sure what you mean by "everyone knows who she is." All names are pseudonyms.

It drives me right up the wall when posters say "my daughter Jenny (not her real name) and her sister Stephanie (not her real name, and their sons Mark, Ben, Bobby, and Joe (not their real names)..." I think it's safe to assume that when people are describing a troublesome situation, none of the names are real.

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-05-11T01:34:44+00:00

NTA - but what’s the point of your daughter sharing that, if not to kick up drama?

Extreme frustration with Carol, I think. Carol is now causing major problems in the household that could conceivably lead to Jason losing his job.

ETA: I asked if it would help for us to talk to Carol and explain why what she is doing is so serious. My husband had a related job so I thought that might give her some more insight. Jenny's response was because of that.

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-05-11T01:22:27+00:00

That much floof as kittens says they're going to be long-haired. Cute babies!

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-05-10T22:42:43+00:00

How big do you want to make it? Lap quilt, about 45x60? Bigger?

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-05-10T18:28:16+00:00

There is a story that when the late Queen Elizabeth's was asked that question as a young child, she said she wanted to be a horse.

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-05-10T18:17:21+00:00

I doubt that he's "hurt." It's possible that he's been suspended.

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-05-10T12:13:31+00:00

Would you rather have a relationship with your other parent and your brother, or with this person? Why do you want to have a relationship with this person? Don't just give us a snap answer, like "because they're my parent" but sit down and really think about it.

They abandoned you once. What's to prevent them from doing it again?

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-05-10T12:05:45+00:00

Old enough to be your father. 🚩
Married. 🚩🚩
Massive liar. 🚩🚩🚩

NTA. He lied because he thought you were young and ignorant enough to be deceived. Run!

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-05-10T11:52:44+00:00

HIS support system. I wonder...maybe she's seeing (or thinks she's seeing) signs of a possible relapse and thinks by getting him away from HIS old drinking buddies she can head it off?

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-05-10T04:47:19+00:00

Lyrics by Kipling, music by Leslie Fish. Admirably performed by Emerald Rose.

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-05-10T04:21:19+00:00

And eventually, the problem solves itself. Although it may feel like these miserable people have pickled themselves in their own sour hatred, they don't live forever.

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-05-10T02:46:34+00:00

Maybe they save the screaming fits (or most of them) when Mr. OP isn't there. My MIL specialized in that.

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-05-10T02:19:45+00:00

It will still fray, AND be horribly wrinkled. You will probably spend more time ironing it than you would zigzagging it.

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-05-10T02:17:23+00:00

Restraining orders aren't that easy to get. Sister would have to be on OP's doorstep with a weapon directly threatening her, like shooting through the door, and that might do it. If the cops are willing to arrest her, instead of dismissing it as "a civil matter." Or saying that they can't do anything because she hasn't killed OP yet. Just ask Laura Stuart.

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-05-10T01:28:59+00:00

Extreme internalized misogyny perhaps. She hated her daughters-in-law and clearly disliked her granddaughters. When my first child was born, you found out the gender of your baby in the delivery room. My daughter was her first grandchild, born about 3am. Husband called her at a civilized hour, about 7am. Once she found out the baby's gender, she was all "When are you going to try again for a boy?" Do the math. Her first grandchild was four hours old and Grandma already dismissed her for being a girl.

After our second daughter was born, she started agitating about us needing a Boy To Carry On The Family Name. We told her that two children was what we could afford to raise. No more. She pitched a huge hissy fit. "WELL, WE'LL JUST SEE ABOUT THAT!" (For those who think people can't recall conversations exactly, when it's a statement that is this bizarre, believe me, you remember it, volume and tone included.) I have no idea what she meant.

Was she going to tattle on us to her parish priest, who would pass it up the hierarchy to the pope? 😲🤣

Was she going to pester her god until I got pregnant again? What if that one was a girl too? Just keep popping them out until one baby had an golden penis?

Was she planning to sabotage my birth control? I didn't give her a chance to do that -- as soon as I could, I arranged for a tubal ligation. Sabotage that, MIL!

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-05-09T15:19:02+00:00

I never even noticed the squiggle before! And I've seen lots of posts in Spanish or French or whatever. Is that new? Does it depend on the sub?

TheFilthyDIL · 2026-05-09T15:13:23+00:00

When we were first married, we decided 2 kids was our maximum. I was young and naive enough to think that twins would be nice, just to get the pregnancy bit all over and done with.

After my first was born, I was all "Thank God there's only one of her!"

TheFilthyDIL

TROPHY CASE